Whoa, here she comes.
According to reliable eye witnesses, I turned more than my fair share of heads this weekend.
I was oblivious to any of this shit because I was fixating on shiny clearance racks and my general policy is, "If I don't make eye contact, they can't see inside my soul."
Considering how low my self-esteem and how I generally view myself is, I'm shocked by this turn of events and wonder how much this happens and how much I've never noticed. Whenever someone looks at me, I generally smile but pan my eyes downward. I wonder if I'm one of those really beautiful people who is like, fucking obnoxious going, 'Oh my God I just don't get it! YOU ALL CRAZY!' I often wonder whether I'm just down to earth or self-destructive.
In any case, I couldn't be bothered to pay attention to any men. I was too busy debating whether to get the Mario hoodie or the Mario t-shirt.
(The Mario t-shirt won out.)