Maybe someone already said it but YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST NOTICED???
THE CLOUDS. ARE FUCKIN' HEARTS.
I cannot with this. HAZBIN, YOU HAD THIS SHIP LAID OUT RIGHT. THERE. And you had Pen paired up with Rosie in earlier drafts. Whyyyyy do you keep fumbling all the good ships for him in favor of... PISS.
Why I dislike ch*rrisnake - as someone who's way too obsessed with Pentious (and doesn't hate Cherri)
Now, a mandatory disclaimer - I am not here to fight. If you ship it - love that for you, glad canon's workin' out for ya. I recommend not reading this - I honestly don't aim to hurt anyone. This is moreso for those who agree and need some solidarity and a place to vent and those on the fence who could use an alternative opinion after all the outpouring of love for it.
I'm actually surprised to see some people say that Piss convinced them to like ch*rrisnake when it made me hate it more, lol. If anything, I'd say their interaction in the s2 finale would've been cute and ALMOST melted my hardened heart... if I didn't remember EVERYTHING that has happened up until that point.
And what has happened? Well let's recount:
ONE. They start off beating each other up regularly. Not the healthiest start, but could be amended with solid writing. Alas, no solid writing in sight in regards to those two. It is presumed they never had any solid interaction outside of that. Not one deep conversation, no actual getting to know each other.
TWO. The presumably first time they interact outside of fighting, Pentious is trying SO HARD to be nice to her and win her favor, and what is he met with in return? Nothing but rejection and ridicule.
Now mind you, I agree that Cherri was under no obligation to accept his courtship just because he was nice. She had every right to be suspicious of it - they were enemies, they hated each other, right? But a good enemies to lovers requires a MUTUAL mean and witty banter to stay balanced. When one party turns on Nice Mode™ the moment they get to interact amicably for once and the other stays mean, it easily slips into bully x victim territory, which is just... eugh.
Speaking of victim, THREE - SHE WATCHED HIM GET DRAGGED OFF TO BE ASSAULTED AND DID NOTHING.
Now once again, I don't think she had any obligation to - they weren't close and bad things happen in Hell all the time. I'm honestly more disappointed that Angel, his so-called "friend" who went through similar stuff and was shown to be protective of his friends in that regard, did nothing. But maybe if she did anything to help him instead of then going off to fuck one of his assaulters, I'd be more easily convinced that she actually, at the very least subconsciously, gave at least half a fuck about him.
And FOUR, when does she start giving half a fuck about him? When she learns he has two dicks. Truly stellar priorities...
And then he kisses her without her consent (he's lucky she ended up enjoying it, otherwise it would've been problematic to say the least) and fucks off to die.
Now mind you, he sacrificed for ALL his friends AND Cherri. He says as much in the trial. But Cherri acts as if he jumped in front of a flying bullet to save HER AND ONLY HER specifically. It's ridiculous, and having that false assumption out of nowhere as a starting point for her to question things is weak writing at its finest. Now, being pissed and puzzled about him kissing her only to basically abandon her right after is valid. That whole "why would he save ME? We were enemies right?" was not.
And then comes PISS... which I just have A LOT of problems with.
My main problem is that it feels like... like it sacrifices their individual characterization for the sake of the ship.
Pentious especially, because the song makes him seem like he enjoyed the violence, even to a... freaky degree, when:
a) there is no other part of the show that suggests he IS freaky, and certainly not in that way - he watches Angel's "film" quite on edge and turns away when it gets too violent, he scrunches his face at a flogging whip in the bdsm club, has literally uttered the phrase "do the sex" and borderline freaked out over what we can probably presume to be some spicy pics, and
b) his relationship with violence seems... complicated.
In my best attempt at reading his character, I can only conclude that he was never a particularly violent person, even just based on his reaction to the murder. "Live to Live", which came from his OWN MOUTH mind you, only proves what I've believed about him for a long time - that he was afraid and did his best to not become a victim.
The villainous façade he put up was a way to survive and thrive in a place where violent people were safe and admired, the two things he craved, and at most I can see him genuinely enjoying the theatrics that went into that, maybe even getting to explore his potential special interest in weapons, rather than the violence itself (as opposed to Cherri, who DOES seem to love indulging in violence and chaos not for any gain but for the love of the game).
But that façade of boisterous violence would sometimes crack, revealing his true self - a shy, quite sweet and awkward guy. The guy who saved the eggs from cruel experimentation, at the expense of probably the only friendship he had. The guy whose first instinct upon getting to interact amicably with his "archnemesis" was to be extra nice and do anything in his power to make her like him. The guy who was visibly on edge through most of Dad Beat Dad because he just wanted things to go well and for Charlie not to fight with her dad. Who loves his eggs (even if he was mean to them and exposed them to danger at times - I can only assume that, if not inconsistent writing, it was him remembering he has to slip that mask back on, like when he tackle hugged the eggs when reunited with them, then immediately proceeded to yell orders at them). Who, after the initial shock of being ripped away from his friends wore off, found himself right at home in Heaven with how sweet and helpful he proves himself to be - even pushing for a peaceful resolution until the very end while others have wavered.
And back to Piss, it makes him look like this tumultuous relationship is what he wants - and if we're being charitable, we could surmise that he was just in distress at the time, seeking a sense of normalcy after it was ripped away from him and he was still adjusting. But RIGHT BEFORE THE SONG we see him look wistfully at what looks like a happy couple, and I believe that's what he REALLY craves. Love. Companionship. Acceptance. Could Cherri give him that? Could she cater to his soft, emotional side? Or is all she has to offer a deflective attitude, insults and good sex?
Now onto Cherri's side because I don't feel like Piss does her justice either. As evidenced in my prior points, there is nothing to suggest that she gave any shits about him before the two dicks reveal, and now she is... suddenly realizing she might love him?
There were honestly several much more interesting ways to develop that plotpoint. It would've been interesting to see her question her feelings, because hey, he just kissed her, told her he loved her and then ran off to die, that's bound to shock her. She might feel like she's obligated to feel some type of way about him, but could eventually realize that she has indeed grown fond of him and that he is special to her, but as a sparring partner, not a lover. Or they could've gone with a "what could've been" - with Cherri wondering, had she seen him for who he was earlier, had she been nicer to him and accepted his clumsy advances, could they have been together? But now they're realms apart and it's too late, she'll probably never get to truly get to know him... but no, she only expresses the desire to beat him up again. Even though she's alone and there's no one to put her walls up for. Piss is at the same time bad and good - good at highlighting that they don't really know each other besides their rivalry, and horrendous at making points as to why that should change (and I mean it's called Piss. Feels like even the show doesn't treat the ship seriously).
All in all, this ship was a late addition (with Pentious originally intended to have a crush on Rosie) and it SHOWS in how badly planned out it feels. Both characters deserve better - Pentious deserves someone who would truly love and cherish him, who would build him up instead of tearing him down, who would RESPECT him instead of being mean and still calling him just "the snake" even after taking a liking to him (as seen in her letter to him), and Cherri deserves to be her own person and have development independent of this ship. If anything, I would hope Angel would be a bigger factor for her change for the better, considering he is someone she ACTUALLY cares about.
Besties, you won't believe it. I couldn't stop my brain from trying to rewrite Cherrisnake and I kinda like the rewrite, lmao.
Do you KNOW how bad a show has to fuck up for one of the ship's biggest haters to take time to rework it into something likable?? 😆
[if you think the canon handled them perfectly, this is not for you, you can scroll bc I'm not looking for discourse 🤷♀️ but I think even many of its shippers might enjoy those changes so I'm not censoring the ship name for once, hoping it doesn't backfire on me]
Now, mind you... I do like how Pentious was characterized in episode 6. Changing the plot would mean ditching some parts of him I grew to absolutely love, so ideally I would hope they would've left it as is and just pulled the plug on the ship. But since the show chose to force the ship over keeping Pentious consistent with prior characterization... at least they could've done it justice from the start.
To all the creators of Pentious x OC content out there - I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH. PLEASE NEVER STOP. YOU ARE DOING GOD'S WORK AND LET NO ONE TELLS YOU OTHERWISE 😭❤️ cherr*snake blows so much it sucks oxygen from the atmosphere. It's a crackship that too many people fell for, sadly. It's obvious that Vivziepop never treated this ship seriously, it's just a comedic relief for her. I mean, their song is called "Piss" for fuck's sake. Penny deserves someone who respects him and takes his feelings seriously, not some coachella girlie who treats him like a walking talking joke & a weirdo, and start to notice him only whe's she's getting bored when he suddenly disappears. It's unbelievable that pretty much every Pen x OC fanart has more chemistry than the canon ship. #JusticeForPentious
📢📢📢 BLASTING THIS VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL THE PENTIOUS KISSERS OUT THERE 📢📢📢
