these days, my identity is spoken about differently by different people. to my family, i am a binary, straight trans man. to my friends, i am some flavor of nonbinary. to strangers online, i am valid or not valid. to my doctors, who fucking knows. i’ve grown to understand that i don’t need to share any part of myself that i don’t want to - but i also can… if i want to. and this part of my life has been something that may (or may not - who knows!) be something someone else needs to hear.
the reason i decided to share this is because i see countless people online trying to dictate other peoples identities. you can deny being a prescriptivist all you want, but if you force rigid definitions of queer identity labels on other people, well… think about it.
growing up, i knew so many boomer-aged queer people and they identified freely and without judgment (they have their priorities straight, basically). they used terms that were, as they said, “half right” or, my favorite, “it works if you squint a bit.” then they’d laugh and tell me, “it’s not that serious. just enjoy being.”
i want to pass that along to younger queer people. yelling at each other on twitter bc you don’t want someone to use a specific label or pronoun is just silly - especially when our actual human rights are being stolen. you are not saving the queer community by bullying each other over identity labels or slur discourse or who is “queer enough” for you.
i’ve been terrified to share my being a nonbinary lesbian because some people will always choose war over peace - but since settling into my identity, i’ve felt excited about it for the first time in years. i’ve felt like maybe romance could be a part of my future. i’ve felt a deeper connection to myself. and hey! maybe i’ll move on from these labels someday - and that’s okay, too! change is growth. change can be good. change is just how it is.
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