Timetimetime
As 2:30 grows closer, my anxiety grows stronger. I have been thinking about todays shift for the past two days. I try to push it out of my head, but it always comes crawling back in. I don't know why I get this way; I really don't hate my job that much. But I have always been this way. I just let it sit there and taunt me. When I'm at work it's not so bad. In fact, I usually have a decent time while I'm there. I also think about my shifts for the following week. I have been thinking about them since last Monday when I got my schedule. I am already planning ahead on what time I will need to leave by, the precise time I should be there by, what I will be wearing my hair like, who I will be working with/are they people I get along with, will I need to prepare conversations with people I don't know so well, etc. Currently, I have my clothes set out, I have an exact time that I will be getting ready at, and I am non-stop thinking about what the night will be like (I will do this until I have my apron on and until I am officially working.) I have also been looking at the clock every couple minutes as I write this to be sure I am not getting too close to the time I have set to get ready. (2:20). Man, this makes me sound like a sociopath.
I do this to myself, but I do not know how to stop it.