- two girls complimented my hair AND it was literally one after the other AND I NEVER GET COMPLIMENTS FROM STRANGERS!!! 💙
- d e s t r o y e d my tiny-ass friend on this inflatable jousting thing
- there was free ice cream AND WE GOT SECONDS
- saw toads AND pray mantids
- we all started playing Pokémon Go again lol
- definitely can feel my social anxiety lessen, I’m a lot more focused on myself and my friends and it feels really good to not feel judged or watched~
- really wanna be that roommate that steals the batteries out of the TV remote to use for her vibrators. not just saying that- I left all my AA batteries at home.... sad... tragic.. :(
how do u feel abt doing smth like a modern au where billy is like , all this punk rock and teen angst and leather nd jean jackets kinda of thing and steve is the exact opposite of him with fluffy skirts and soft polos nd just really soft and they two have seen eachother but dont actually talk to one another until they have a school project and they just. fall in love overtime? basically , femme steve + punk rock billy falling in love.
(pt. 2) also!! happy 21st birthday 💓💕💗💖💕
The university had a strict core curriculum, meaning that Steve was ten minutes late for his Philosophy of the Modern Era class.
He couldn’t find the room, was wandering around in this basement with his schedule written on the back of his hand. He was peering at room numbers and muttering to himself 067 067 067.
“You looking for that philosophy class?” Steve turned around at the voice.
The guy was stomping down the hallway in big leather boots. His jeans were ripped and shredded, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with pink font reading Dog Park Dissidents. His denim jacket was covered in pins and patches and sharpie drawings. He had Silence = Death written on one of the pockets, Being nice IS punk rock was scrawled down one arm.
“Yeah, that modern era one?” The guy smiled and nodded, reaching forward to shake Steve’s hand. His eyes were a startling blue, lined with a thin smudge on black. His hair was wild and curly, shaved on each side into this beachy looking mohawk. He had his nose and his eyebrow pierced, along with several in his ears.
“Billy Hargrove.”
“Steve Harrington.” Steve could feel the tips of his ears go red as Billy looked him up and down. He was wearing something cute for the first day of class, a chunky white cardigan over a soft pink peasant dress. He had gotten up early to do his makeup well, and was late to class anyway because this stupid building was a fucking maze.
They set off down the hall together, looking at each door they passed by.
“Oh shit. Pretty Boy, I think I got it.” Steve flushed slightly at being called pretty, still not used to being able to dress like this in public. Billy wrenched open the door, and stomped in, not a care in the world for being twenty minutes late.
The professor raised his eyebrow.
“And what were you two doing out in the hall?”
“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the room.” Steve’s cheeks were hot as he was standing at the front of the class.
“That’s okay. you have missed class introductions, to please say your names, pronouns and majors.”
“Billy Hargrove, he/him, double majoring in literature and social work.”
“Steve Harrington, he/they. I’m also a double major in education and early childhood development.” The professor made a note on his role sheet.
“Thank you, you may sit down.” Steve went for the back of the room, flopping into the first empty seat he could find, ducking his head as he quietly got his laptop out. Billy had stomped into the seat next to him, had gotten out a notebook and proceeded to doodle in it for the rest of class.
He sat next to Billy every Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9:20-10:35 and and outside of their ten minute search for the classroom, they had yet to say anything to one another.
It certainly didn’t help that Steve was harboring a little crush on the guy. He would watch him in class, the way he would doodle little sunflowers in the margins of his notes, smiling softly at them.
“So, for the rest of the semester you will be working in pairs. I want you to go through the readings we have completely and work together with the philosophers we have discussed to create your own system for the modern era. How do you believe society exists now?” Billy turned to Steve, grinning at him.
“You wanna be my partner?” Steve gave a sheepish smile, his heart racing.
“I, um. Yes. Yeah, I’ll be your partner.” Steve dug his phone out of the tight pocket of his skirt, trading with Billy. He put his number under Steve Harrington - Modern Era Philosphy.
“You wanna get coffee after class, start working through our beliefs?”
“Um, sure. I don’t have class until, like, 3:30 today.” Billy grinned again and fucking winked at Steve. He needed to calm the fuck down.
“So basically, a lot of my beliefs are based on the punk message.” Billy was sipping at his black coffee, had laughed and said should’ve fucking known when Steve ordered a large mocha with extra chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. “I’m a very live and let live person, but I believe everyone should live and let live. If someone is trying to dictate how others should exist, they’re fucking garbage.”
“Okay, I actually really agree with that.”
“That’s because you’re punk rock.” Steve laughed, but Billy’s eyes were serious. “No seriously, there’s nothing more punk rock than being unapologetically yourself.”
“When did you get into punk philosophy?”
“When I was in high school. My dad was a real prick, and I was angry, and a lot of punk is loud and pissed off and it helped, but then I started going to shows, and talking to people, and it’s not what you’d expect. Everyone at a show is like a weird family for a night. If someone comes in and tries to fuck with someone, the family deals. I can’t tell you how many fights I saw that broke out because someone was perving on a girl, and these other guys started protecting her. And that only grew as I started getting into queercore.”
Steve was listening to Billy, eyes wide as he described stories from shows, how he had jumped in on fights to defend the family, how he would walk girls home or to their cars parked a ways down the street, how he knew everyone would do the same for him.
“God, I wish I had a community like that. I didn’t really have anyone growing up. You know, token queer in a small town kinda vibe.” Billy smiled at him sympathetically.
“That why you came out to San Fransisco?”
“Oh yeah. Wanted to come somewhere where, this, didn’t matter.” He gestured to himself. “I just don’t get why it bothers people. I just do it because it makes me happy. I don’t know why it concerns anyone else.” Billy was nodding vigorously.
“Exactly. That’s the whole truth about being queer. People hate you for something that has nothing to do with them. It’s completely wack. Like if I’m with someone in whatever capacity, we’re both consenting adults. It literally doesn’t matter.”
“Do you think we could expand upon this enough for our project? Talk about how we feel the world should just stop caring about what other people do if it has nothing to do with them.” Billy grinned.
“I think we could make something happen.”
They began getting coffee after each class, taking through their project, finding resources to back up the ideas they had discussed. The more time they spent together, the more Steve liked Billy, liked how sweet he was, how positive. They talked about having terrible parents, how Billy’s dad had kicked him out at sixteen for being gay, how he had lived with friends, saving up to get himself through college. They talked about how Steve’s dad had found his stash of makeup and threw it all away, making sure it was ruined and broken. How disappointed his father was that he was studying to become a teacher.
There was one Friday they had met up and stayed all day in the coffee shop stayed until the 5 pm closing.
“You wanna come over? I have a single room. We can keep working.” Billy grinned at Steve like he always did, showing off all his white teeth. So they walked side by side to Steve’s room.
Steve kept his room neat, a habit left over from overbearing parents who would shame him into cleaning his room.
Steve’s room was exactly how Billy imagined.
He had soft white lights, a full length mirror on one wall. His bed was covered in pillows, duvets, and even a few stuffed animals. The wall above the bed was covered in pictures of Steve back home, several with a group of younger kids, and a lot with a blonde girl.
“This your girlfriend?” Steve snorted.
“No, that’s Robin. She and I are just really close friends.”
“What’s with the kids?” Steve blushed.
“I babysat all through high school, and those kids kinda adopted me as their pseudo parent. It was a lot of driving them all over town.”
“That’s cute. That why you wanna teach?”
“Yeah, I’m good with kids.” Steve had plopped himself on the made bed. He watched as Billy took off his heavy boots, placing them neatly by the door before stepping onto Steve’s plush grey rug. His socks were thick wool and had little cartoon dogs on them. Steve was in love.
Billy sat with Steve on the bed. He was taking a closer look at the photos.
“I could see that for you. You’re a caring type.” Steve looked down as his feet, could feel his face getting hot.
“Why did you pick social work?”
“When I was a kid, CPS would be called to our place like, once every few months. My dad was a real good schmoozer, so I would always just be left with him. I wanna be able to help kids get out of bad situations.”
“God, and you call me a caring type. You’re gonna save the world.” Billy laughed.
“The children are the future. I’ll save ‘em, you teach ‘em.” When Steve looked up, Billy was leaning closer into Steve’s space. He had a soft smile on his face. His eyes were bright and beautiful and so fucking blue. “Can I kiss you?”
“Can you, what?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Why?” Billy still hadn’t leaned back.
“‘Cause I have a big dumb crush on you, and I think you have one on me.” Steve’s face was pink.
“I, uh, yeah. Go, go for it.” Billy laughed, taking Steve’s face in both hands. He leaned in, just gently pressing their lips together.
“So, was I right?”
“Yes. Very much so.” Billy laughed again, loud and sweet, pressing another kiss to Steve’s lips.
“You wanna go on a date? A real one? Not just us getting coffee and pretending we both weren’t totally into each other.” Steve snorted again.
"Scott, idiot this is my sister Y/N". Derek introduced you to Stiles and Scott.
"Nice to meet you guys. Heard alot about you". You eyed Stiles who was awkwardly trying not to stare at you.
"So you're going to be going to our school"?
"Right".
"Um, do you know what classes you'll be taking"? Scott nervously rubbed the back on his neck.
"I dont know for sure yet. Derek hasnt went and got my schedule yet". You nudged your big brothers arm playfully.
"I'll get them. It's the weekend, I have other matters to attend". Derek sighed rolling his eyes. He maybe your big brother but you sometimes acted like your mom. Staying on him about things. He needed someone watching his back.
"You're right, I have to get ready for school anyways. Make sure I have everything so I'm going to go". You waved bye and left.
Derek crossed his arms growling at Scott and Stiles. "Dont even think about it".
"What'd we do"? Stiles asked innocently.
"I will rip you to shreads and bury pieces of you around town. Don't even think about". Derek warned them. Derek walked away and Scott shrugged his shoulders.
"Over protective". Stiles wrapped his arm around Scott and headed home.
Monday came, you were excited but also really nervous. Before living with Derek you were homeschooled so being in highschool was scary. Were you going to fit in or make a fool of yourself the first day? It was swimming in your head not to screw up or say something stupid.
As you walked in you saw Scott and Stokes at their locker, you went over to say hello.
"Y/N, hey". Stiles spotted you before you could say anything.
"Hey".
"So how's your first day going"? Scott asked as he slipped on his back pack.
"Good I guess. I aciddently bumped into a girl with red hair and she yelled at me but other than that its okay".
"You..you bumped into Lydia Martin? Did she smell nice? I bet she smelled nice". Stiles leaned against the locker with heart eyes coming out.
"He has a major crush on her. But she won't give him the time of day and plus shes dating Jackson".
"I didn't smell her. Sorry". You chuckled as Stiles started falling from the lockers.
"What class you got next"?
"Math".
"Hey, me too". Scott grinned.
"Great, you can show me where its at".
"See ya Stiles". You and Scott both said as Stiles jumped up acting like nothing happened and walked off.
During math class you were actually paying attention and surprisingly knowing what the teacher was talking about until you looked out of the corner of your eye and saw Lydias head tilted your way and her filing her nails as she watched you.
Yeah, she hated you. First day and already made a enemy. Great.
You tried to ignore her but she threw something at you. You didnt turn around but you could hear giggling and chuckling.
She kept doing it when the teachers back was turned. You were starting to get angry. Your knuckles started growing white as you gripped the desk. The wood started to split. Pulling your hand back you saw your nails had grown at least two inches, your hands started growing hair. Oh god, this was not happening in the middle of class.
Scott looked up from his book and saw you were freaking out trying to hide your hands in your jacket. But he noticed your teeth and your eyes. They were a amber color.
"Sppt. Y/N". Scott tried to get your attention.
You couldn't control it. You had to get out before you exploded.
Not even bothering to get the teachers permission you bolted out the door. The teacher protested. "Where is she going"?
"I think she had to take her medicine". Scott tried to cover.
"Was she okay"?
"I'll go check". Scott rushed out the door, looking down the hall he saw you stagger into a bathroom.
He carefully walked into the bathroom. "Y/N? You okay"?
Scott heard growling coming from the last stall. "I know what you're going through. Come out and we can sort this out".
Gulping you opened the door. There you stood, all wolf like. You couldnt believe it. Derek and you thought the werewolf gene skipped you. You showed no signs of werewolf.
"What the hell is happening"?
"You've unleashed the werewolf". Scott chuckled.
"Not funny. How do I make it go away"?
"What made you mad"?
"Lydia. She was throwing paper balls at me. I just want to rip her head off". You growled loudly.
"Okay. Calm down. You cant be this in school".
"I can't. I dont know how". You started to panic.
Scott thought of what Stiles did when he went all wolfie. He sprayed him with a fire extinguisher. But he didn't want to do that to you.
"I'm going to try something just dont kill me". Scott stepped closer to you until you were between him and the wall. He leaned in and kissed your lips. At first it wasnt working then something in you relaxed. Soon your arms were around his neck and not hairy anymore.
You pulled back. "It works. Holy crap it worked". You squealed kissing him again. Scott stood there happy with himself.
"Thanks Scott. You saved Lydia".
Scott laughed.
"Okay, you saved me too".
"No problem. If this happens again I'm here".
"I'll keep that in mind". You giggle. "What did you tell the teacher"?
"That you had to get your medicine".
"What? Now everyone's going to think I'm crazy". You huffed with a shake of your head.
"Well. I think Lyida has already told everyone that".
"I'm going to kill her". You growled. Scott stepped in front of you.
"Kidding. Gee, I cant joke around"?
"Not when you're a freshly new werewolf that can't control your anger you can't".
"Okay. We better get back to class". You walked out before Scott and made sure it clear for him to come out.
After school and your little episode all you wanted to do was go home and forget the day. But apparently your wolf self had other ideas. The woods were right in your sight and you had to go in. You strapped on your back pack and sprinted off inside. Leaving the human world and going into something that you had no control over.
"Scott, theres a body". Stiles poked his head threw Scotts window.
"Yeah, I know. It was a werewolf".
"Wait, how do you know that"?
"Y/N. She turned today in class. She was going to attack Lydia".
Stiles fell on the bed. "What? Y/Ns a werewolf? I thought the gene skipped her? She was the normal one".
"Sorry Stiles but you're back in that role". Scott chuckled when Stiles started pouting.
"What are we going to do? She cant go around killing people. Especially not Lydia".
"We need to find her". Scott hopped out his window. Stiles went to the window panting.
"I'll take the stairs".
While Scott and Stiles creeped through the woods, Scott got a wiff of a scent near. He put up his guard and pushed Stiles behind him.
"She's here".
"Where? It's literally pitch black. Oh right wolf senses".
"Scott"? You came into the little moon light that was peaking through the trees.
"What are you doing"?
"I don't know. I remember going home from school and the woods but after that there's nothing".
"You killed someone".
"I did? No I didnt". You shook your head with disbelief.
"Why are you covered in blood"?
You looked down at your clothes, blood and hair covered them. Your mouth had blood and your hands.
"Who was it"?
"A local criminal". Stiles spoke up from behind Scott.
"So it wasn't Lydia"?
"No why"?
"I dreamt that I killed her".
"You were blinded by the wolf rage. I'll call Derek to come get you". Scott pulled out his phone and called Derek. Stiles walked over to you, picking off hairs.
"Scott"?
"What"? He asked looking from his phone.
"Um deer hairs. Not human".
"What"? Scott walked over and examed you.
"You're not the scent that was on the body. How"?
"So I didn't kill anyone"?
"It seems to be your lucky day". Stiles patted your back making you growl. He quickly took his hands off you.
"You really need to work on the anger". Derek said coming out of the dark.
"Yeah, I know. Only Scott can calm me down".
"Really now? What do you do to calm my little sister there Scott"? Derek crossed his leather covered arms.
"Um..um..nothing". Scott stuttered.
"He kissed her". Stiles squealed on his friend.
"Stiles". Scott scoffed.
"What did I tell you"?
"Now is not the time for that. I'm either a killer or not". You talked over them.
"You're not". Scott and Derek both said.
"She could be". Stiles pulled off a chunk of hair and looked like skin.
"Alright. This is whats happening. No one talks about this again. My sister is not a killer". Derek grabbed your wrist and started walking off.
"Then she needs to control her anger. We cant have her killing people". Scott walked forward.
"I can control her". Derek growled.
"Not your way. I can do it with out hurting her".
"Kissing is not going to keep working".
"It may".
Derek looked at you then at Scott. "Alright we'll try it your way. If she kills anyone you're taking the fall for it".
"Okay. I'll take care of her".
"Fine. We'll see you tomorrow". Derek pulled you along with him disappearing in the night.
"You just said you'll babysit a werewolf that cant control her anger? Are you crazy"?
"Maybe. But I have you and you've been there for me. So I need to be there for her". Stiles smiled as he hugged Scott.
"I love you man".
"Get off".
Scott and Stiles went home planning out on how they'll keep you calm. Well Scott has his plan, that he'll enjoy alot. Stiles was still worried. You were more angrier than Scott was.
pairing: peter maximoff/OC(graciella decuerpo) (high school AU/not canon)
summary: peter learns that a fuckton can change in the course of a week
warnings: none? bad language and peter is simp but thats it
notes **please read**: Heyyyyy how are you doing? good? that’s great. so ik this fic is a peter/oc fic, but honesty i only use her name a few times and a few defining features but like. thats it. so you can totally just imagine urself in her position. also this fic is 5,550 words exactly. that’s the most ive ever written and I am SUPER fucking proud. I think i might become one of those blogs where i write super huge monster fics that im proud of instead of just writing to fill requests.if u dont want that then just lmk and i will not do that. i dont know. maybe. also this fic is peter centric because uh it is. anyways enjoy <3
taglist: @creator-appreciator, @simonsbluee
--------
Monday
Peter sat across the room, his arms crossed neatly on top of his knees as he rested his chin on his forearm. He wasn’t paying attention to the lesson being taught in front of him, in fact, he wasn’t paying attention to anything at all. No, Peter was lost in his head again. Peter’s mind was a chaotic minefield of music and cheesy one-liners and random facts that he seems to just know. But this time, he wasn’t envisioning himself beating up a police officer or playing with Pink Floyd. This time, he was picturing a perfect world where nothing ever happened yet nothing was ever boring. Peter had built a utopia in his mind-- a kingdom created to his exact preferences. A blissful tower of joy and happiness and energy and satisfaction. A paradise where he stood on top of the world with Graciella DeCuerpo, the pretty girl from algebra class, standing right next to him.
Now, Peter was well aware that the pretty girl from algebra class had no idea who Peter was. The pair had never exchanged more than a few words, but somewhere within those few words, Peter managed to decide that she was his soulmate. He’d created an image of her in his head that would make God weep tears of envy, the perfect personality for the perfect person. Peter willfully ignored the fact that he was setting himself up for heartbreak as he imagined how nice it would feel to have her fingers intertwined with his.
All of Peter’s friends thought he was ridiculous, ‘you can’t love someone you don’t know,’ they’d say. Peter would only scoff and shake away their words. He absolutely can love someone he doesn’t know, it’s getting the other person to reciprocate those feelings that’s nearly impossible. However, that doesn’t stop him from fantasizing at night. That doesn’t stop him from imagining the various ways he’d confess his love to the pretty girl who doesn’t love him. Or maybe she does. Peter doesn’t know, he could never know; unless, of course, he worked up the courage to talk to her.
Scott constantly teased Peter about his one-sided infatuation, but Peter paid no mind to him. He was 100% content with his perpetual pining for someone who probably didn’t know his name. He was totally okay with the unending ache in his chest that would appear any time she walked by or met his gaze. Peter was alright with his ceaseless yearning and the eternal feeling of disappointment that overtook him every time he snapped out of one of his fantasies. He was a-okay with all of that.
So, there he was, spacing out during biology class as Professor Hargreeves struggles to teach the silver teen about photosynthesis. The Professor looked at Peter with desperate eyes, soon deciding that having his usually energetic student be quiet and still was the silver lining of the situation-- no pun intended. Professor Hargreeves droned on as Peter glanced at the clock, counting down the minutes until 7th period. Counting the seconds until he got to see the pretty girl in algebra class once again.
Tuesday
6th period was always the worst part of Peter’s day-- the dreaded english class. There were many contributing factors to Peter’s hatred for this class; the professor was a bore, the material itself was uninteresting, and Peter could never seem to sit still or retain any of the words he read in english class. Worst of all, english class seemed to go on forever, leaving Peter to impatiently wait for the bell to ring and release him to 7th period. At the end of the period every day, he was practically vibrating in his seat.
“Can anyone tell me what Juliet’s suicide is supposed to symbolize?” the Professor asked expectantly. Peter couldn’t care less about the symbolism of some chick’s suicide-- he’d much rather be studying the features of his algebra class infatuation.
She sat next to him yesterday. There were at least 5 other open seats and she sat next to him. Yes, Peter read too much into it and yes, Peter spent the entire class period trying to make himself seem naturally cool, but he didn’t care. Peter would act like the most desperate, pathetic, lovestruck loser in the world if it meant that she would like him. They didn’t talk, they didn’t exchange a single word, nevertheless, Peter was in a state of euphoria for the entire class period.
Sometimes Peter feels like a stalker. He watches her whenever he can-- he doesn’t follow her around or anything, but if she’s around, he’ll stare at her. He has her features memorized, the curve of her nose, the dark brown irises surrounding her pupils, the way that she always seems to have chipped black nail polish on. He sees the small things. He sees the way she bites her nails when he gets bored and he sees the way her leg never seems to stop bouncing. She hums the basslines to songs as opposed to the melody.
English class came to an abrupt end as the bell cut off the Professor’s teachings as well as Peter’s distant daydreaming. Peter was out of his seat within seconds, his notes and books quickly being swept up in his arms as he walked out of the room. The hallways are crowded and chaotic and busy, each individual student attempting to get to their locker then to their class on time. Peter watches as kids swing their lockers open, fatigue and weariness apparent on their faces as they disappear into their classrooms. Peter reaches his locker hastily, the few small posters of classic rocks bands adorning the inside of his locker door. A playful giddiness overcame his body as he made his way to algebra class, a small smile left on his face.
Graciella shows up across the hallway, her bright red hair catching his eye in a sea of brown and blonde and blue. His stomach flutters as they get closer and closer to each other, finally meeting outside of the classroom. Her eyes rise to meet Peter’s, and instead of pulling away, Peter keeps looking. She smiles at him before disappearing inside the classroom, and Peter felt his knees get weak. With a deep breath and a triumphant smile, he walked into the classroom.
Wednesday
Lunchtime; possibly one of the most enjoyable parts of Peter’s school day. Peter is free to kick back and stuff his face full of whatever junk the school board deems nutritious enough for highschoolers. Usually, he ate lunch under the bleachers with his friends, but in some sick twist of fate most of them were absent. So, Peter was left to eat alone in his usual spot.
The quiet was comfortable, refreshing. The gentle summer breeze would blow every few minutes and Peter would listen to the rustle of the leaves. There’s a certain tranquility to being alone; Peter can lay back and relax and just… think. No stress, no panicking, no--
“Hey, uh, Peter, right?” Peter’s eyes snap up so fast he’s afraid they would detach from his head and fall out. His breath faltered and his hands began to shake a bit-- why was he so freaked out? She was just a girl; sure, she was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, and yeah, he was madly in love with her, but that’s besides the point.
“Uh-- uh, yeah, P-Peter. That’s, uh, that’s me,” He chuckled awkwardly, desperately trying to stay cool. Peter was an awkward person, but he’d rather die than fuck up his chances with Grace.
“You dropped this on your way out of class yesterday, I, uhm, didn’t get to return it to you until now,” She holds out a small key chain with three small keys hanging off of it-- Peter’s house keys, along with the key to his mother’s car. He quickly takes the key chain from the red-haired girl in front of him.
“Holy shit, uh, thanks! I couldn’t get into my house yesterday so I guess you saved me from another broken window,” Peter held up his hand and showcased the scattered pattern of small cuts on his palm. Grace laughed lightly before gently running her fingers over the cuts on Peter’s palm.
“Oh fuck, dude, these look pretty bad. Maybe keep a spare key hidden under your welcome mat or something,” Peter doesn’t fully process Grace’s words; he’s too preoccupied with trying not to collapse at the feeling of her fingertips on his palm.
“Hey, you okay? You look… pale,” Grace pressed the back of her hand on Peter’s forehead in an attempt to check for illness, but that just made Peter’s skin erupt in goosebumps.
“I, um, I’m fine. I’m just st-stressed about the algebra t-test on Friday, I th-think,” To be fair, Peter was stressed about the algebra test. Peter may or may not have spent the entire class staring at Grace instead of, you know, learning the material.
“Oh! Well, if you want, I can help you study. I’m also kinda worried about it, and I study better with other people,” Peter silently thanked god for what was happening to him.
“That would be fuckin’ fantastic,” Grace smiled a smile that made Peter shiver.
“Cool! Uh, I’ll give you my phone number and we’ll meet up tomorrow. One day isn’t much time to study, but it’s better than nothing.” She pulls a pen out of her backpack and rips a small piece of paper out of one of her notebooks. Peter watches as she scribbles down her phone number and hands the paper to him.
“Thanks. For everything, the keys, the studying-- everything.” Grace smiled.
“It’s no problem, Peter, really. I’ll call you later,” And just like that, she walked away. Peter was left alone under the bleachers, a wide smile plastered on his face as he read the piece of paper in his hands over and over and over again.
Thursday
30 minutes. 30 minutes until Grace Reaper DeCuerpo, the prettiest, nicest, funniest girl Peter had ever met would show up on his doorstep. She would be inside his house for god knows how long. She would sit next to Peter-- either on the coffee table in the basement or on the floor of his bedroom. Needless to say, Peter was freaking the fuck out.
The plan was simple: Grace shows up, they study, they get comfortable, and she goes home. Yet, in those four simple steps, so much could go wrong. Wanda could interrupt, his mother could lose her temper, Lorena could start crying-- worst of all, Peter could embarrass himself and drive her away.
Peter was in the middle of reorganizing his record collection for a third time when he heard a knock at the door. His blood went cold and an electric excitement ran through his veins. Peter checked his hair in the mirror one last time before running to the door. He stood silently, staring at the chrome handle hesitantly. This was his one chance. His only chance to make his perfect kingdom real-- Peter really, really, really didn't want to fuck it up. With a deep breath, he slowly opened the door.
"Hey, Peter!" Her voice was smooth and melodic and it made Peter's heart light up. He’s about to respond with something smooth and witty when a squeaky voice chirps behind him.
“Hi!! Are you the pretty girl Peter talks about?” Peter can physically feel his face turn bright red as he turns to see his six-year-old sister, Lorena, standing behind him. She’s wearing a purple princess dress that has a syrup stain on the sleeve. Grace laughs before stepping through the doorway.
“Lorena!” Peter groans in annoyance, a pleading look on his face. The young girl just giggles before scurrying away, her dress flowing behind her.
“‘The pretty girl Peter talks about’, huh?” Grace grins at Peter cheekily. Peter runs his hand through his hair before motioning to the staircase.
“God, Lorna is quite the kid. Well, uh, we can work in my room,” He sighs. “And Grace? Uh, m-maybe don’t let Lorena change your opinion of me,” She just smirks before walking past Peter.
“Too late,” She called before disappearing down the stairs. Peter could hear the faintest trace of a smile in her voice. His heart skipped a beat as he quickly followed after her.
She was wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt and holding a backpack with various pins on it-- her left ear was pierced in three places and her right in five. The earrings she was wearing were black, or maybe grey; her bright red hair blocked Peter’s view of them. She was wearing rings, some odd words engraved in the metal. Peter couldn’t read them from where he was standing. She was wearing a skirt with fishnets, her hand buried in the pockets that seem to have been sewn in herself. She has callouses on both her hands, but Peter knew that already. Her appearance would put Aphrodite to shame-- suddenly, Peter was much less confident in himself than he was before. He ran his hand through his hair again before reaching the basement.
He held his breath as Grace looked around his room, her gaze lingering on the plethora of stolen signs and band posters covering the walls. She placed her backpack on the floor and walked over to Peter’s record collection, her fingers carefully flitting through the different albums. She seemed… impressed. It was then that Peter realized it had been silent for much too long.
“Y’know I can, uh, p-play some music if you want me to. You can just pick a record and, uh, I’ll... play it,” Peter winced at his words, cursing himself for being so awkward in front of the girl he’d been pining after since the beginning of the year. He felt like everything had spiraled out of control, and he watched idly as it happened. Then, Grace shot him a smile and pulled out a record.
“You have a good taste in music, Silver,” No one had ever called Peter ‘silver’ before. He liked it a bit more than he should. “Although, that’s not really a surprise. I had a feeling you were cool.”
“You think I’m cool?” Peter asked, shocked. He wasn’t sure he heard her correctly.
“Oh, totally. I see you in the hallways sometimes and you always seem so… carefree. Genuine. I don’t know, I guess it’s just… you, ya know? You’re naturally cool.” Every syllable that rolled off her tongue shot euphoria through Peter’s veins. Grace DeCuerpo, the girl Peter Maximoff had dreamed of for almost a full year, was telling him that she thought he was cool. Naturally cool.
“I know a lot of people who would disagree with you on that one,” Peter joked. There was truth behind his humor, but of course, he didn’t want to get into his insecurities now. “They think I’m a total loser, which isn’t totally wrong I guess.”
“Well those people are stupid,” She stated matter-of-factly with a smile. “Speaking of stupid, we should probably get to work.” Peter nodded before sitting beside her on the floor.
For three hours they poured over their algebra books. They quizzed each other and checked each other’s work; Peter’s proficiency in simplifying radicals aiding them both. Every now and then their hands would brush against each other, or the conversation would stray away from school and into their personal lives. Peter learned that Grace had two brothers, one of which passed away when she was younger. Peter talked about Lorena and Wanda and his miraculous abilities in the same way that she talked about her hometown and her own abilities. The conversation was smooth and natural-- Peter didn’t feel like he was being too annoying or too chatty and there was seldom an awkward pause. The pair were content in their time together, not a single moment went by where one wished the other would leave.
Eventually, Grace had to go home. Peter wished that she could stay forever, but of course, that would be considered kidnapping. He walked her to the door, although Peter didn’t feel like he was walking. He felt like he was floating.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Silver,” Grace said softly as she turned to face Peter. She looked him in the eye and he could feel his stomach flutter.
“Yeah, I guess so,” She opened the door, but before she left, she froze. She turned to look at Peter once again.
“Peter?” she said. “You’re not a loser.”
Friday
Peter could tell the second he walked through the front door of his high school that something had changed. The energy that radiated in the halls shifted from a dull buzz of boredom to a rush of anticipation. The students in the hallway looked the same as always; tired and anxious and wishing for the day to go by quickly. However, Peter wasn’t wishing for the end of the day, and he certainly wasn’t tired. He was determined and energized and absolutely terrified, because that morning Peter Maximoff made the most important decision a seventeen-year-old could. He decided that he was going to ask Grace out on a date.
Peter made the choice to keep this from his friends-- it’s not that he didn’t trust them, it’s just that Peter knew he would be teased for his infatuation. It’s happened before and it will happen again. He walked down the hallways with a brave face on, his eyes forward and his heart racing. Truthfully, the silver teenager was terrified of… well, everything. The looming image of a harsh rejection forced itself into his mind; the idea that she would laugh in his face made his heart break a tiny bit, even though it wasn’t real. Peter simply shook those images away and walked on.
The day flew by much faster than Peter was comfortable with, and for the first time ever, he was dreading algebra class. He was terrified that he would walk through the door and have everything be exactly the same-- he feared that Grace would go back to not knowing who he was, just like before. Peter was alright with never being her boyfriend, but he didn’t want to be a stranger. He didn’t think he could take being a stranger anymore.
So, there he stood, staring at the door to his algebra classroom from across the hall. He felt confident and prepared himself for the task at hand. In four long strides, he entered the classroom. Grace was sitting next to an empty desk, her eyes stuck on the small notebook full of doodles on her desk. Peter watched as her eyes raised to meet his, a wide smile forming on her face as she motioned him over.
“Hey, silver! I saved a seat for ya,” she called, and Peter felt his knees get weak. He then decided that he would wait until after class to ask her out.
“You did?”
“Of course,” She grinned. “I like you, dude, you’re my friend,” Peter’s heart fluttered as he sat down beside her. Grace shot an odd look his way before reaching out and placing a hand on his arm. “Hey, you look stressed. Don’t sweat it, silver, you’ll do fine. We studied for, like, 3 hours yesterday. You’re gonna ace it,”
To be frank, Peter had forgotten all about the test. The real reason he looked so stressed was because he happened to be sitting next to the love of his life, and the love of his life happened to be touching his arm.
“O-oh! Uh, yeah, thanks. I was just nervous because of… the test,” The bell rang and class began, the professor strictly laying down the rules that were to be followed while the test was in session. Peter could feel the lingering touch of her hand on his skin. It made his head feel fuzzy.
Peter soon came to learn that sitting next to Grace during a test was a huge mistake. He couldn’t focus on anything other than her-- it didn’t help that she kept shooting him glances from where she sat. The numbers and letters on the paper in front of him seemed to rearrange before his eyes, instead spelling out various taunts. He feels a little pathetic for how easily Grace can unravel him, but hey, he’s a teenager.
The silver-haired boy’s eyes were struggling to decipher the words on his page when a small folded square landed on his desk. It came from Grace’s direction, and a small smirk had formed on her lips as she solved equations. Hesitantly, he unfolded the paper and read the neatly written message.
Hey silver :)
Peter smiled softly. He quickly pulled a pad of post-it notes out of his backpack and scribbled down a quick reply.
I have no idea what I’m doing. I think Professor Stedman decided to write our tests in hieroglyphics this time.
He flicked the note onto her desk and quickly turned his face downward. Class would be over soon, and Peter knew he couldn’t turn in a blank test. He uses his enhanced speed to do his assessment in seconds. Sure, he was almost certain he’d barely reach a passing grade, but hey, he had bigger matters to focus on. By the time he finished, another note landed on his desk.
That bad, huh? Looks like we better study longer next time.
Peter’s heart swelled a bit. He really thought the study sessions were a one-time thing. He’s overjoyed to know he’ll get to see Grace semi-regularly, even if he never manages to ask her out.
I think I’d rather hang out with you without the looming threat of schoolwork.
That’s the closest Peter could get to asking her out. He put deep thought into every word, he examined the phrasing and checked the spelling of every word. His english teacher would be proud.
That can be arranged ;)
Peter had no idea that four words could make him feel so much. He had no idea that 17 letters could make him want to scream in the middle of a silent testing period. His hand was shaking and his careful planning was abandoned as he scribbled back a reply.
Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?
Patiently, he waited. He waited for Grace to finish writing her response and he waited for her to toss the note back over. He didn’t wait for more than a few minutes, but it felt like hours. He was panicking, and he was sure she could tell. She was probably joking, right? She was probably writing an awkward clarification-- she was probably explaining that she would actually rather die than be around him for non-academic reasons. He braced himself as the yellow post-it landed on the center of his desk.
My aunt owns a drive-in a few miles from here and she gave me keys to the projector room and the gate. She managed to snag a copy of The Exorcist-- I thought you’d like to join me during my midnight escapade tomorrow night.
Peter’s heart stopped. For a moment, he thought his eyes were fooling him. Maybe this was all some sick joke. Maybe he was being set up. Maybe he’ll get in her car tomorrow and she’ll drive him into the woods and murder him. To be completely honest, Peter wouldn’t mind if she murdered him. Peter wrote his reply.
Really? You want me there? I might be a drag. You could probably find at least 20 other people who would probably be more interesting than me.
Grace frowned at his response, and suddenly Peter decided he never wanted to see her frown again. She wrote confidently, her words solid and sure.
You? A drag? Impossible. I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want to be with anyone other than you, Maximoff.
This note was his undoing. He couldn’t help himself, he read it over and over and over again-- he almost forgot to respond. He wanted to hold onto it forever, he wanted it to be framed and hung on his wall. Hell, he wanted it tattooed on his arm. Peter had never been so happy while taking a test, that’s for sure. He wasn’t sure exactly what to say; he went from heartfelt responses to witty retorts. Finally, he decided to be totally and completely honest.
I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Saturday
There was seldom a time in his life where Peter Maximoff felt wholly content. Even in the most peaceful moments, there was always something bothering him, there was always something to pull him back to reality. However, sitting in the back of Grace’s dad’s convertible with the seats down and the roof pulled back, his head resting on her shoulder as they watched a cheesy horror movie, Peter was as close to nirvana as he’d ever been.
Life had always been so hard for Peter. He’s always had to fight for his seat at the table, to claw his way into a state of mind that wasn’t a hellhole. It seemed as if the world was plotted against him; he was ostracized from society and taught that he, along with his closest family and friends, were monsters. He never met his father and his mother spent so long fighting her own battles that she forgot to love her kids. Peter had to steal to stay fed, and he had to do his best to raise his little sisters to be good people. But right there, right then? That wasn’t hard. Peter didn’t have to be anyone or do anything-- he just had to exist next to someone who wanted him. That was the easiest thing Peter had ever done.
Peter wasn’t exactly sure how he got there. Of course, he knew that they had driven to the drive-in, but he wasn’t sure how he was the person next to Grace. They had spoken for one day, maybe two, and somehow he landed himself in the most perfect spot in the entire universe. Less than a week ago, she didn’t even know his name. Or, maybe she did. Maybe she was just like Peter-- maybe she had spent the past year pining for him, and finally she worked up the nerve to just talk to him. Maybe. Peter isn’t complaining either way.
“Can I ask you a kind of cheesy question?” Peter is startled by the sound of his own voice. Grace sits up and glances at him.
“Shoot,”
“Do you-- well, uh, don’t read too much into this, but, do you believe in love at first sight?” God, he sounded awkward.
“Nope,” She said bluntly. Peter wasn’t expecting that answer, but he wasn’t exactly disappointed by it. “I mean, it’s kind of a stupid idea, ya know? Like, isn’t there a million poems and sonnets and books written about how love is this weird complicated monster of a feeling? I don’t think you can really love someone just by looking at them. You can love the idea of a person, sure, or maybe the look of a person, but you can’t love that person. Because a person is so much more than ‘first sight’,” she sighs. “I don’t know, maybe I’m being a killjoy. It just seems dumb to me-- dumb and, I don’t know, exclusive,”
Peter stops to think for a moment. He steps out of his lovesick chaotic hellbrain and looks at his feelings from an outside perspective. He thinks back to the kingdom he created in his brain-- a kingdom built on a foundation of sand. Or, less than sand. Holographic sand, because the sand he built his kingdom on wasn’t real. He made a mental note that ‘Holographic Sand’ is a kickass band name, then resumed his impromptu soul-searching. She was right-- he could see that now. Scott was right, too. You really can’t love someone you don’t know, because if you don’t know them, you fill in the gaps. You fill in the gaps with what you think fits, and then the other person stops being them and starts being parts of you. Peter suddenly felt weird.
“I’m sorry if I said something wrong,” Grace interjects after a while. Peter hadn’t realized he’d been silent for so long.
“You didn’t say anything wrong. On the contrary, you, uh, you made things a little bit more… right, in my brain. You somehow managed to take a little chunk of chaos and tame it, which is scarily impressive,” he joked. “Remind me to ask you your opinion on the meaning of life and the root of true happiness,” They’re joined in a chorus of laughter and Peter realizes that his little brain kingdom didn’t hold a candle to the red convertible he was sitting in. She slings an arm around his shoulders.
“Y’know, I might not know the meaning of life, but I am pretty close to true happiness right now,” She says, softer than before. “Maybe the root of true happiness is you, Maximoff,” She chuckles. Peter smiles. He doesn’t want the ruin the moment-- god, he is desperately trying to keep himself from fucking it up, but he feels obligated to tell her about his year of pining.
“Hey, uh, can I tell you something kinda pathetic?” He cringes at the way his voice trembled on the last word.
“Go ahead, Peter,” She used his name this time. Peter thinks she knows he’s about to say something mildly serious.
“I’ve liked you since, like, the beginning of the year. You seemed so… cool. So nice. I saw you in the hallways and my stomach would get all twisted up and my head would hurt a little bit. It was like I was allergic to you, but I enjoyed it. That sounds weird. I’m sorry,” He stopped for a moment, attempting to take the buzzing mass of words in his brain and string them into a sentence. “I was too afraid to talk to you, so I, uh, asked around. I got other people’s opinions of you and then built a little version of you in my brain. I realize now that, uhm, the little brain version of you is like, way way worse than actual you,”
When you talked to me the first time, you threw me off. I wasn’t really nervous about the test-- I mean, yeah I was nervous but that’s not why I looked so pale. I just wasn’t expecting for you to talk to me, like, willingly. So I lied because I was embarrassed. And I lied again in class yesterday. Because I was embarrassed,” He stopped talking. Peter felt like he was digging himself into a hole-- he felt like he killed the sweet sugary mood.
“Why are you telling me this?” Grace asked. She didn’t sound angry. She sounded a little confused, and she sounded like she was trying to help Peter decipher his brain.
“I don’t know, I guess I just feel bad. I feel bad for, uh, for not being honest I guess. I feel bad for being a coward,” Yep, definitely killed the mood.
“Peter, you shouldn’t feel bad for being afraid, you know,” She assures. “I would’ve done the exact same thing in your position. Hell, I did do the exact same thing in your position,” That caught Peter’s attention.
“What?”
“You didn’t drop your keys in algebra. You dropped them somewhere in bio and my friend found them. She was gonna take them to the office, but I wanted an excuse to talk to you, so I said I’d return them,” Peter couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was being pranked, he had to be. “Being awkward and weird is like a requirement in high school. Don’t sweat it, Maximoff, really. We’re all the same in that way, I think,”
Peter felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was feeling too much at that moment, he was letting the bad drown out the good. He didn’t want to remember the day in a sad light.
“I like you. A lot. Even if you are awkward and weird,” He smiles softly. Slowly, ever so slowly, he intertwined his fingers with those of the girl beside him. It was a simple display of affection, but it made Peter feel like he was floating.
“I like you too, dork,” Peter smiled widely before placing his head back on Grace’s shoulder. Peter wasn’t paying attention to the movie, in fact, he wasn’t paying attention to anything at all. No, Peter was lost in his head again-- but this time, he wasn’t standing on a false kingdom with a false version of the girl he liked. No, this time, he was thinking about the very real girl beside him. He was thinking about the perfect world they had created in the small car they were in; a perfect world where he felt so much emotion and so, so safe. They had built a utopia in the back seat- a blissful tower of awkwardness and comfort and clumsy confessions. A paradise where he sat in the back seat of a Ford Galaxie with Graciella DeCuerpo, the pretty girl from algebra class, sitting right next to him.
a/n: this took….WAY TOO LONG to finish. I apologize if this au is not as cohesive bc I did write it over the span of a few weeks lol. Thank you all for waiting so patiently and feel free to leave any requests as I will be free to write this weekend!!! mwah♡
so,, in this alternate universe exists the soulmate tattoo
yes, i know so creative ;w;
essentially, you are born with the name of your soulmate tattooed somewhere on your body
and you have the absolute pleasure of having the name kim seunghun tattooed in cursive across the expanse of your right hip
spicy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
anyway,,, you’re kind of asjsdjkSAD
bc seunghun is such a common name??? and you’ve met so many seunghuns???
but NONE of them are your soulmate :((((
you would know,, considering u basically ripped a guys shirt off when he told u that yes, his name was kim seunghun but no, he did not have ur name on his hip
uhh but that’s a story for another day :,)
anyway,,, ur kinda bummed??
and it’s gotten to the point where you’ve almost lost all hope of finding him
。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。
but anyway ,, life goes on I guess
SO
you’re yedam’s older sister by about 3 years
( sorry forgot to mention that important detail )
you both go to the same high school!!!
ur a senior and he’s a FRESHIE
obviously,,, hes a BABY（≧∇≦）
so ur super protective of him
and when you find out he’s been hanging out with some ,, QUESTIONABLE individuals at school
mom mode: activated
“dammie who r these kids”
“MOM, we’re part of dance club together!! they’re super nice i promise”
＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／
u just want your baby to stay safe u know??
so when he asks to invite his friends over to practice
you’re like ( ˘ω˘ )
yedam: (◞‸◟)
you: ( ˙-˙ )
sad yedam is a big fat NO in this household
so you have no choice but to agree
and as his unofficial mom, you decide to greet his friends !
“hi, i’m y/n! bang y/n!” ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
and like ,,,, you lowkey feel bad thinking his friends were bad bc most of the guys are pretty chill
like this byounggon kid??
the epitome of looks like he wants to kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll ( ^ω^ )
but when you get to the last dude ,,,
he just kinda ~looks~ at you
and ur not gonna lie … he’s HOT
like he’s only wearing a hoodie ,, but he has silver hoops lined along his ears,, and his hair just messily grazes across his forehead
you internally: *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･’(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)‘･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
uhhhh but also he’s staring u down like he wants to kill u
“i’m hun” he introduces himself coldly
(._.)
he still cute tho
so,,, it’s been a while and yedam has continued to bring his friends over to practice
and you’ve come to grow fond of the boys!!!
esp byounggon :,)))
you guys just click???
except,,,, there’s still a certain blonde haired boy who just doesn’t seem to like u???
like u were walking to ur class the other morning
and you just HAPPENED to see him
so u were like,,, hm let me be a nice person today(＾ｰ^)
so you run up to him and grab his shoulder
“hun!!! what’s up my guy!!” ( ＾∀＾)
honestly,, you went in to this thinking that the only thing hun would do is say hi back???
you: WRONG
he kind of freezes for a second
and you’re like???? u ok bud
he slowly turns around
and his eyes,,, literally pierce into yours
he gingerly takes your hand from its grip on your shoulder, letting it limply fall at your side
and then he slowly walks towards you until your back is pressed against the white brick wall of the hallway, his hands caging you in on either side of your head
slowly, he inches his face towards yours
“stop faking nice to me, we are not and will never be friends”
you internally: hnnngg why does he smell so nice???? is that bath and body works? since when did men shop at bath and body works??(΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)
you externally: HMPH how DARE U invade my personal bubble young man i won’t hesitate to FIGHT(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭
and then he walks off
“FUCK YOU TOO HUN!!! I BET THAT’S NOT EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!! I HOPE U THINK ABOUT WHAT U DID WHEN U GO BACK HOME YOUNG MAN” ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／
you are a BIG MAD
like??? who does this kid think he is???
you dont really bother talking to him much after that :///
but also ,, you hate yourself bc you’re still so ATTRACTED to him??? and u don’t even know why??? like bad personalities are such a turn off why ,,???
hmph
ANYWAY
so it’s a saturday night ,,
u know what that means…
party @ byounggon’s place ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
bc what’s a bullet point au w out a party am i right???
basically, gon’s parents were on vacation for the weekend, so he took the chance to have the party of the year
and after the stress of exam season, you’re ready to get SMACKED
lmao i do not support underage drinking kids!
uhhh anyway
this is your first party in a ,, while
so you dress yourself up in a red mini dress and some platform heels and strut your hot ass to gon’s house ;)
by the time you walked up to the house,, it was a full fledged RAGER 😤
so like one second,,, you’re just chilling, shaking your hips to some britney spears
and the next thing you know!! you’re downing your fifth shot of the night
“GON I THIBJK IM GONNA THROW UP”
gon: Σ('◉⌓◉’)
the next thing u know you’re in the bathroom bent over the toilet
(;´д｀)
thankfully,,, you don’t puke
but you do drink atleast five bottles of water and take a power nap on gon’s shoulder
anyway ,,, by the the time you’ve slightly sobered up, you realize your head kinda hurts and the party is still going strong but u promised gon you’d stay to clean up soooo
you end up going upstairs to NAP (ᵔᴥᵔ)
but when you open the door to the guest room at the end of the hall,,,
you just HAPPEN to see hun already there on the bed scrolling through his phone
＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／
this man rlly just knows how to push ur buttons huh
if you weren’t so tired maybe you would’ve taken the time to appreciate the way his leather jacket complimented his broad shoulders
like not 2 be rude but this bich looked hella good
but also ur tired :///
“what are YOU doing here”
hun finally looks up and notices you standing in the doorway
and he doesn’t say anything for a while
just kinda stares at you
and it takes you a while to realize that he’s lowkey checking you out
you wouldn’t admit it, but the way his eyes glazed over your form made a pit form in your stomach
finally he locks eyes with yours
“what do you mean what am I doing here, what are YOU doing here?”
he smirks and gets off the bed to step closer to you
“i WANTED to take a NAP but you just HAD to take the only room that doesn’t have people FUCKING” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾
“well it’s not my fault you can’t handle your alcohol”
this BITCH
“can you PLEASE just leave”
“no”
you let out a sigh of frustration and square your hands on your hips
“why do you hate me so much”
“i never said i hated you”
“well the way you act sure makes it seem like you do” you huff
hun cocks his head a little and steps closer to you
suddenly, it seems like the idea of personal space is almost nonexistant
you look up at him
and u notice the way his hooded eyes rest on your lips
and how the air around you both has suddenly gotten heavier
and you feel your body heating up
and you realize that maybe,,, you’re not so tired anymore
“well how about i prove to you that i don’t”
hun’s voice has reached a whisper, his lips only centimeters from yours
and suddenly he’s kissing you
and you’re kissing back
perhaps it’s because you’re not completely sober that you don’t notice the way his touch burns your hip
and if you do, you ignore it
the softness of his lips against yours almost makes you feel drunk again
and the next thing you know, he’s taking off your shirt, hands finding their way to the curve of your waist
as your lips make their way down his neck, you allow yourself to do the same to him
( you wish you didn’t do that )
because as you push his shirtless body against the bed, you can’t help but notice the cursive scrawl lining his right hip
and in that moment, it feels as if you’ve never been more sober in your life
you’re frozen, eyes resting on his hip
and maybe hun, or should we now say seunghun, is not as sober as he seems, considering it takes him a while to track down the path of your eyes
and when he finally does, his heart drops in his chest
he reaches out to grasp some part, any part, of you
but you flinch away
“y/n…. this isn’t what you think it is”
his eyes are pleading you to stay and listen to him
you let out a harsh laugh
“no, no this is EXACTLY what i think it is”
“y/n please don’t -“
and suddenly you’re untangling yourself from the bed sheets, haphazardly throwing your shirt on and slamming the door behind you
and in that moment you realize that maybe soulmates aren’t as perfect as the world makes them out to be
so the rest of the weekend is spent in your bed,,, wrapped up in ur sheets like a burrito
you don’t really cry much
you’re just ,,, confused
having the idea that your soulmate knew you were his soulmate but never told you, and better yet, acts like he hates you??
(◞‸◟)
yedam: y/n, why have u been laying in bed all day (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾
you: ;w;
and as much as dammie wants to talk to you, he has more emotional intelligence than most guys his age (or guys in general tbh)
so he pats your back, makes two bags of popcorn, puts kimi no na wa on his laptop and gets under the covers beside you
it isn’t until the end of the movie when the last of your tears have dried on your face that you look up at him with puffy eyes
“dammie, i found my soulmate”
yedam: Σ('◉⌓◉’)
“it’s not that big of a deal… i don’t think he wants me anyway”
by the time you reach the end of the sentence, your voice falls into a whisper
perhaps you would like to believe seunghun wanted you
but some things don’t turn out the way we believe
“why would u say that” yedam looks down at you, brows furrowed in worry
“uhh, i mean -“
“WAIT … who even is your soulmate??”
you:👀🍵
“it’s … hun”
“W H A T”
and that, my friends, is how yedam realized u can’t trust people in this world :/
so it’s monday
and as you brush your teeth, you can’t help but feel uneasy knowing that you could possibly see seunghun today
thankfully you don’t
but when it’s finally nighttime and you’re making your way under your covers ,,,
unknown: y/n, open your window
unknown: i’m outside and it’s cold
unknown: this is seunghun btw…
you on the outside: what the FUCK
you on the inside: i’m literally wearing basketball shorts how am i supposed to see my soulmate like this (O_O)
and when you pull back your curtains and open your window, you are met with none other than kim seunghun barreling into your room
“how long were you out there??” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾
“uhhh maybe an hour or so” m(._.)m
and perhaps it’s the motherly side of you that decides to pull his face down and cup his cheeks in your hands in an attempt to warm him up
and you don’t really notice how close you’ve gotten to him until you look down and realize his lips are only centimeters from yours
but when seunghun’s lips form into a little smirk at your obviously flustered state, you quickly retract your hands
“i’m sorry…”
you don’t really make a move to respond to seunghun, choosing to stare at the floor instead
“I know what i did was stupid … and i should have told you from the start… but i’ve had bad experiences in the past with soulmates and i didn’t know if -“
“that doesn’t matter, you should have just told me that you didn’t want me in the first place instead of making me feel this way”
you’re a bit pissed off now
that this dude thinks he has the right to act like that and then barge into your room??
but when you take the time to look up at him
his eyes have softened
and he moves a step closer to you
“i do want you though”
… “ w h a t “
“then why have you acted so rude to me?? when you obviously knew i was your soulmate from the start, why did you hide it??”
now seunghun is the one looking down at his hands
and he looks so defeated, before he opens his mouth
“i’m scared”
you look up at him, but he’s still looking down at his hands
“my dad rejected my mom when he found out they were soulmates. i don’t think … he wanted to deal with the commitment of having a soulmate. he thought they were stupid. so he rejected her and he went off to do whatever the hell he’s doing right now. he went off and he abandoned my mom with two year old me and we haven’t heard from him since.”
a single tear drops from his eyes
and you move a step closer and wrap your arms around him
he’s frozen for a second but he hugs you back
and you both stay there for a while, you rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down
“i won’t ever leave you seunghun”
he pulls back
and despite his red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks, he cups your face with his cold finger tips and kisses you
Morning. Monday, yea. Can you feel the excitement? I have a new PC to build for our intern for the summer, who I was told isnt even offfically hired yet. Yeah, it means I have to rush even more to get his PC ready before the end of the month. I also have def been feeling withdrawal from my benzo taper, which explains my recent mood and the wierd dreams etc. One of the common WD symptoms is morning terrors and heightened anxiety in the AM. I have had the heightened anxiety for years in the AM because my dose wore off overnight, until we moved me to valium with its longer half-life. But now that I'm at 14mg from 20, I'm starting to feel it. And those wierd ass dreams I had the other day, morning terrors. A common side effect, and according to what I've read they are very common and for some can not go away for hours. Which explains why I felt how I did. I was told to avoid certain foods which should help... which means my soup rice mix is now useless, I guess I'll freeze it. Im supposed to avoid sugars, rice/potatoes etc. Back to broth and chicken and who knows what. I usually know when I am in that stage, I wake up 4-5amish and am restless, having nightmares or vivid dreams that I drift in and out of, and cant shake them for a while. My morning benzo dose is small, so it just takes a tiny bit of the edge off. And my BP/HR med takes a few hours. So I think I'm going to start waking up when I wake up even if its 5am and take the BP/HR meds since they take a while and maybe that will take the edge off. As the temps outside get nicer I can go ride or walk or something to get the excess energy out of me, except that I'll be stuck after my surgery here in this. So I think Im going to ask my Dr that we do not drop me another notch until after I'm healed. I originally thought the pain meds would help mask the wd symptoms, but Id rather stay where Im at and let my body get used to this level, then restart once Im healed enough. It will give my body time to get those receptors working right and to level out again. And I'll know within a few weeks if the leveling is helping with the WD or it was something else. The worse part is, I'm on doctor ordered "stress free" relaxation and special diet to prep myself for surgery. And, even if I could go up and work at the office I'd be a mess. I wake up shaking and jittery, tired like I havent slept, etc. The latter is a side effect of benzos, they keep you from hitting full deep sleep as easily. Im going to bed at like 10pm and out cold shortly there after. Then if I watch my bedroom security camera I flop around like a fish all night. I also hate that I have to wait a few hours before I can nap to feel better. Usually by noon, the meds have kicked in and I'm feeling better. So I get up, do my morning work, then get online or here for a while, check gadget news, maybe watch something on netflix, then whenI feel myself kind of dozing off I know I can sleep without worry of terrors/nightmares. And I let myself wake up naturally. Fun with benzos. Let my story be your guide and if you can avoid getting on these because you read what I say, you are doing yourself a huge favor that I cannot explain in words. Just imagine being a child, terrified of what's in the closet or under the bed. Now imagine being an adult feeling that only its all the time. And you get a tiny little view into the world of benzo dependence. ANYWAY, so I am going to do some work, then watch tv and see if I can doze off. I have to marathon through all my fave FOX shows going away from Netflix in April. I mayb have to rent and rip them. Stuff like Buffy and Angel I own all of it. But I dont own all of New Girl, and its one of my goto fun shows when I need a distraction. I have all but the final season of Bones, not sure why i spent all day yerday watching it. Literally that is what I watched all day from when I got up til I went to sleep. I have it all recorded, just nice not to have to FFWD through commercials. And Hulu seems to have like the last season and thats it, which is kind of useless. Maybe I'll try one of the British tv show channels I can sub through my Apple TV that has stuff I have never seen. And of course during my recovery I have Class and Doctor Who. Wahoo! Rambles on a Saturday morning. Except its Monday.
Discover Top Posts Tagged with #anyway.. i dont have classes until monday.. so.. rip | Tumgag
