For those who asked what yesterday’s radio play was about - here’s a quick translation [Tarjei’s character is called Leo]
Man speaking in a soft voice: Oh, but look at this. Have you fallen into the trap?” [small animal squeaking] “There, there, there. Stay calm. Now, just a small cut…” [the squeaking increases] “No… No, your blood is still cold, my little friend. That’s too bad. Ah, well. You can just lie there. Yes, too bad. That was too bad. [The man whistles as he walks away.]
[Human by Rag’n’Bone Man plays]
Iselin: Are we there soon, or?
Anna: You knew we were going hiking today.
Anna: It was your choice to go out partying with a load of guys from Tinder yesterday.
Iselin: Well, but it wasn’t a load of guys from Tinder, it was one guy, okay? And he was actually really smart. And… what??
Iselin: Yeah. And handsome.” [Anna laughs] Fine. What did you do yesterday, then?
Anna: Um… a bit of everything...
Iselin: You were studying, weren’t you?
Anna: I have an exam coming soon, Iselin.
Iselin: Yeah, you always have exams coming soon…
Anna: Hey, isn’t that the cave opening over there?
Iselin: YES!! I can do the intro, but in that case I’m taking the last piece of chocolat as well.
Anna: With pleasure, it’s all yours.
Iselin [in english]: Hi, guys. Welcome back to the channel. Sorry it’s been so long since our last video, but today we’re back on a new awesome expedition. Where are we going, little sis?
Anna [in english]: The Black Hammer cave.
Iselin: [in english]: And why are we going there?
Anna [in english]: To find a thousand year old glacier?
Iselin [in english]: That’s right. We’ve brought all our best gear because apparently this cave is very dangerous. If you want to see what we find, then…
Anna [in english]: Don’t forget to like and subscribe.
Iselin: Can you do it once more and do it with a bit more, like, energy?
Anna [in english and with “more energy”]: Don’t forget to like and subscribe.
Iselin [in english]: Hopefully we’ll make it out alive! [continues in norwegian] You could have been a bit more enthusiastic.
Anna: But, Iselin, it’s really embarrassing to…
Iselin: It isn’t embarrassing, it’s just how it is. If we’re trying to get more subscribers then we have to do it.
Anna: Because that has helped us before…
Iselin [in english]: Check out the entrance, guys. It doesn’t look very frightening but there is many kilometers of winding tunnels inside. What does the sign say, Anna?
Anna: It says “No entry”.
Iselin [in english]: In english, please.
Anna [in english]: Entry prohibited.
Iselin [in english]: Yes. Seven years ago a student went missing in the cave and was never found again. It’s been closed ever since. [back to norwegian] And here we’ll use music, like “dun dun dun DUN” and the video turns into like this huge white *spitting noise*
Iselin: What the hell is that?
Iselin: That’s sick, but… get a stick and poke at it.
Iselin: It’s for the camera.
Iselin [in english]: Just look at this, already outside the cave there are bats lying in the sun.
Anna: It’s absolutely terrible. Some of them are completely dried out.
Iselin: Yeah, but… Shall we just go inside? [in english] And we’re going in…
Iselin: Turn the torch on.
[noises that indicates that they’re moving around in the cave. someone whistles further along]
Anna: Shh. What was that?
Iselin: I don’t hear anything.
Anna: It’s just… hush! [Iselin laughs] Iselin, seriously!
Iselin: I don’t hear anything.
[Male and female screaming]
Iselin [laughing]: Oh, what the fuck.
Leo: Sorry, I thought I was alone.
Iselin: That was what we thought too.
Leo: Oh my god. [laughs] Whoa.
Iselin: But… you have seen the sign, you know that it’s illegal to be here, right?
Leo [parrots back]: You have seen the sign too, you also know that it’s illegal to be here? [laughs]
Anna: Umm… have you been here before, or?
Leo: A couple of times. You?
Iselin: No, we, it’s the first time we… um… are you going to the Black Hammer glacier too?
Leo: Yeah. Yeah, I am. I know the way, so… if you want to, then we could go there together?
Anna [hesitantly]: Yeah, so I think that we will just slow you down.
Leo: No, no, no, there’s no stress, I would really like the company.
Iselin: Anna, it’s perfect.
Iselin: He’s been here before.
Iselin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, My name’s Iselin by the way.
Iselin: Yeah. And this is Anna, my younger sister.
Leo: So, what’s up with the camera?
Iselin: No, it’s because we’re making films for youtube and tiktok. Climbing.
Leo: Tik… tok? No, it’s just… I’m not that up to date with things like that, it’s mostly climbing for me.
Leo: Let’s go. [he starts walking away]
Anna: We can’t just follow a complete stranger.
Iselin: No, but he seems super nice?
Anna: You mean he’s good looking?
Iselin: Yeah, well, when was that made illegal then?
Anna: You don’t understand…
Anna: I am relaxing. I am.
[More sounds indicating that they are moving]
Anna: Oh shit, it’s cramped
Iselin: Is it far to go, or?
Iselin [in english]: We’re only thirty meters in and already everything is pitch black here. I don’t know if you can see much but we’re crawling on our stomachs. No wonder someone got lost in here, but thankfully we’ve got a handsome guide. Say hi, Leo.
Leo: No, that’s just spiders.
Iselin: Are you telling me there are spiders here?
Leo: Yeah, but they aren’t dangerous.
Iselin: No, but they’re crawling…
Iselin: They are under my helmet. We have to, can we, I have to get out.
Anna: God, Iselin, don’t stop now, they’re crawling all over me too. Ugh.
Iselin: Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
Leo [groaning from exertion helping the sisters]: There. Really good. And you. Yes.
Iselin: Thank you. Oh. They are still in my hair. Fuck, it’s disgusting.
Anna: Okay, here it splits in two.
Leo. Yeah. The Black Hammer glacier is to the right.
Iselin: Yeah. Let’s go, then.
Anna: Yes, just let… just let me double check the map.
Leo: I know where it is, though.
Iselin: Okay, so, to the right then?
Anna [to her sister]: Yeah, and… we’re absolutely sure about that?
Iselin: Anna, can you just relax, or? It’s to the right? He says that it’s to the right?
Iselin: Hey, what’s your problem, really? It’s like, he’s chill, he’s showing us the way, I don’t understand?
Anna: Yeah, no, it’s nothing.
Iselin: There is something, I can tell that there is something, you’re like…
Anna: Yeah, I just thought that it was supposed to be just us on the hike, Iselin.
Iselin: Yeah, but… we’re hiking? And now it turned out like this, like, we met him, we’re, like, spontaneous.
Iselin: He’s going to look great in the video though.
Anna: Really, like everything is about that stupid video.
Iselin: That’s why we’re here. To make the video.
Leo [from further ahead]: Whoa. Check this out.
Iselin: That’s just… sick!
Iselin: Oh my god. I’ve never seen anything this beautiful before.
Anna: How far away do you think the roof is?
Leo: I think it’s... twenty metres.
Iselin [in english]: Oh my god, you guys. Just, like, look at this. I don’t know if you can see it through the video but it’s like we’re… it’s like the most epic thing I’ve ever seen. We’re inside a goddamned mountain cathedral.
Leo: You’re not that keen on the movie then?
Anna: No, there are some people who have more need for exposure than others.
Anna: Yeah. Especially her. No, it’s more her thing. I’m studying biology, actually.
Leo: Yeah, I’m about to start my master studies.
Leo: Mm. Yeah, you can’t just climb and goof around.
Anna: Right? Or try to become a big youtube celebrity.
Leo: No. Your sister is rather... forward.
Anna: Nah, you just have to overlook some things. If you don’t want to be flirted with, that is.
Leo: I did. And what about you?
Leo: Yeah, Didn’t you… check me out?
Anna: Eh… I’m not very good at things like that.
Leo: Can I suggest that we go climbing some day, for example?
Anna: I’m not very good at that either.
Leo: I don’t believe that.
Iselin: Just come! Check this. Look.
Anna: It’s whole stomach is cut open.
Iselin: I don’t understand how it can still be alive?
Leo: Shall we move on, or?
Anna: And just let it lie here?
Leo, Yeah, I’m not really a fan of bats.
Anna: Iselin, are you serious, are you going to film it?
Anna: A poor animal is lying here, dying.
Iselin: We can’t do anything for it anyway, so… [in english] Look what we found, you guys. It looks like something took a big bite out of it and it’s still alive. Ugh. [sound of bat wings] Get it off me. Come and get it off me. Help me. God
Leo: I think we should move on now.
Iselin: Why isn’t it dead. Why isn’t it dying?
Iselin: Oh my god, look at it, it’s still moving.
Leo: Listen, there are more coming.
Iselin: What the hell was that?
Leo: Now you understand why I don’t like bats.
Anna: Fuck, I lost my helmet. Do you have to stomp so fucking loud?
Iselin: So now it’s my fault?
Anna: Well, something got them to take flight.
Iselin: Great. [in english] Did you see that, you guys? We were attacked by freaking bats, it was like hundreds of them.
Iselin: Yeah? Everything.
Iselin: Like, oh my god. This is seriously the sickest thing I’ve ever experienced. It just… Things are going to take off, people will click… oh. You’re bleeding.
Anna: I took a real nosedive.
Iselin: I think we need to wash it, rinse it out. Do you have any water, or?
Anna: No, we need to save the water. Don’t stress it.
Leo: I can go back and fetch some water for her. You just stay here, okay?
Leo: You’re welcome. [he leaves]
Anna: Did you really film everything?
Iselin: I think so, yeah.
Anna: Wait, I can… rewind. There. Stop there.
Anna: What is that, what’s happening with Leo’s eyes?
Iselin: Uh, I don’t know?
Anna: It’s like, they’re like owl eyes? It’s not normal.
Iselin: You don’t have to exaggerate.
Anna: I’m not. I’m not kidding, just look. He doesn’t even look afraid of the bat, he just stands there looking at it. Iselin, I want to, can we just, like leave?
Iselin: Okay. Um. But then we have to… come on, hurry.
[sounds of them scurrying away while Leo shouts “Where are you? Hello?” in the background]
Anna: Iselin? [screams] Oh, fuck. Iselin? Where are you? Is everything okay, I can’t see you? Iselin?
Iselin: I think I crushed... [hits the torch against the wall] Just walk towards my voice. Come on. Just walk towards me.
Anna: I can’t see shit. Oh!
[load of whispered conversation mostly consisting of panicked panting]
Anna: Oh my god, where are we? You haven’t broken anything?
Iselin: No, no, no, I don’t think so. You still have the map, right? [pulls out map] Okay, where are we?
Iselin: We were up here. And then we went towards…
Anna: We went towards the glacier.
Iselin: Did we go to the right or to the left there?
Anna: There are tunnels everywhere.
Iselin: Yeah, okay, but if we just think…
Anna: Fuck, fuck, fuck, I said that we shouldn’t...
Iselin: Yeah, but now you’ll just have to calm down!
Carl: What on earth are you doing here?
Carl: Why aren’t you answering me? What are you doing here?
Anna: We were on our way to the Black Hammer glacier, but, um, we’re just trying to find our way out.
Carl: Are there more of you. Or are you alone?
Iselin: We met a climber, a guy, but we lost him, so yeah.
Carl: You are grown ups, right? Don’t you realise that you’re putting others in danger?
Anna: Sorry. Sorry, we didn’t mean to…
Carl: Oh, jeez. Well, let’s see, the quickest way has to be across the glacier. Can you climb?
Anna: You’ll show us out?
Carl: Yeah, I can’t just leave you alone in here.
Iselin: Thank you so much, we had got lost.
Carl: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But now you have to stay close to me. Stay close to me and you have to be very careful with where you set your feet. Come on. You just have to walk.
Iselin: Can I just ask, what are you doing here anyway? Are you a guide or something?
Carl: Do I look the type?
Carl: My name is Carl Utkild and I’m a zoologist. We are a team of scientists who are mapping out the diversity in the Black Hammer cave
Carl: Yeah, we’re mapping everything. Larvae, insects, fish, crustaceans. Yeah, and vertebrates like bats. Is there a reason for you asking?
Anna: Yeah, we… we were attacked by some. And we found some dead ones outside.
Carl: Yeah, you know, most caves are isolated ecosystems but the Black Hammer cave is very special, so closed that some life forms no longer can live anywhere else but here.
Iselin: So the bats couldn’t survive flying outside
Carl: Exactly. Exactly. We’re still trying to understand why, why, why. Yeah, and I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so angry with you, but I just know how badly it can end when someone gets lost.
Iselin: Yeah, we heard about a student who died here, is that true, or?
Carl: “Disappeared” is more the right word. He and the guide were never found.
Carl: Yeah. Yeah, it was one of my colleagues, a professor with long experience. He held a field course for students in here. One of them was careless and got separated from the rest. My colleague got notified and was told to wait and not to go out, but he still went back there alone to search.
Carl: Who knows. They probably got caught by falling rocks. Yeah, so you understand that there’s a good reason that this cave is closed.
Iselin: Sorry. We didn’t know…
Carl: It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s fine, it’s so fine. Yeah, so let’s see, now we’re at the glacier so this is where you’ll get some use for those ice picks.
Carl: Good to try them out.
Iselin: Yes. I’m looking forward to it.
Carl: Let’s see. [sounds of panting and ice picks being used] Good. You two are some real girl climbers, I have to say. Full of life and spark. There. There, take care of yourselves.
Carl: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at this. You two have come to one of Europe’s few underground glaciers. Amazing, isn’t it?
Carl: It’s weird. And over there is a free fall of over thirty metres.
Anna: Didn’t you say that this was the fastest way out?
Carl: Oh no, we’re not going out that way, we’re going down the tunnel over here.
Carl: Here’s a ladder all the way down.
Iselin: And it’s safe, not…
Carl: Of course. I’ll light your way down, come on. You first. Good.
[sounds of people climbing down a ladder]
Iselin: Sorry. We’re down.
Anna: If this is the fastest way out, why are we spending more time going out than we did in?
Iselin: Maybe he meant the safest?
Anna: Yeah. Where is the way out?
Iselin: Hey? Hello? You have to light the way. We can’t see anything. You have to light up the way for us. [sound of a ladder being dragged upwards] Hello?
Anna: Let go of the ladder! Hey! What the fuck! He took the ladder!
Iselin: Carl. This isn’t funny.
Anna: Stuck in a fucking cave glacier.
Carl: Now you’ll have to relax and focus on keeping warm.
Anna: Please, just… Why are you doing this?
Carl: The cave doesn’t provide me with any water. Why do you think this cave here, why do you think it isn’t overflowing with scabby and moss overgrown animals and insects? This cave is the cave where nothing dies.
Iselin: But... you’re completely insane.
Carl: You can call me that if you want to.
Anna: Carl, don’t, don’t go. Or, I don’t understand, you’re saying that the animals in here have eternal life, or?
Carl: No. No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that everything that dies in here are caught in here forever.
Iselin: But what the fuck does that have to do with us?
Carl: Your blood is warm. You can give us life.
Leo: What’s happening here?
Anna: Leo? Leo! Down here!
Iselin: Watch out, Leo. He’s completely sick in the head.
Carl: This? This is the opportunity we’ve been waiting for.
Leo: Yeah, but these two are nice, I’ve got to know them. Can’t we just wait until someone else comes?
Carl: Stop. Now we will finally, finally be able to get out of here.
[Carl and Leo continues to argue in the background]
Iselin: What the hell? Do they know each other?
Iselin: Who are you talking about?
Anna: Don’t you understand? Leo is the student. It was him and Carl who died here.
Leo: Can’t we just keep them for company?
Carl: I’m tired as fuck of this darkness, do you understand? I want eternal life in the sun. Watch them and I’ll go and fix… [goes off whistling]
Iselin: Leo? Leo, please, don’t do this.
Leo: You don’t get what it’s like to just always be alone in the dark with just bats and him there who’s so fucking…
Anna: But we can come and keep you company? Right, Iselin? We would really like to come back and hang out with Leo, right?
Iselin: Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Leo: That’s just something you’re saying now.
Anna: No. No, we swear. Just let the ladder down.
Leo: You ran away from me.
Anna: But I didn’t know then what it is like for you.
Anna: Leo, you are the nicest person I’ve met in a long time and I would love to go climbing with you. Okay? Leo?
[sound of a ladder being lowered]
Leo: Hurry up. Before he returns.
[sounds of people hurriedly climbing a ladder]
Anna: What’s the fastest way out?
Iselin: Stop. Fuck. It’s pure ice. We can’t climb down here without an anchor, we have to…
Leo: I can lower you down.
Anna: I don’t know if you’ll be able to hold on, it’s really far?
Leo: We’ll see, but if I’m supposed to trust you, then you’ll have to trust me too, or what?
Leo: Here. Wrap this rope around your waist.
Iselin: But will you manage to hold us both?
Iselin: [to Leo] Be careful releasing the rope. [to Anna] Just relax and don’t look down. Leo?
Leo: I thought of something. You forgot your camera.
Iselin: Yeah, you can… you can just keep it.
Leo: But just as a loan. So when you come back here you can get the camera back, so… it’s just a loan.
Leo: If you have planned on coming back, that is.
Iselin: It’s getting really tiring to hold on, can you release more rope?
Leo: I think I’ve changed my mind. I think that I feel like you should stay.
Leo: I was so afraid of dying, but when you’ve died once then it isn’t so terrible to die again.
Anna: I don’t want to die. You understand that I don’t want to die?
Leo: It’s fine. You’re going to have an eternity to forgive me in.
Anna and Iselin [falling]: Noooooooooo!
Carl and Leo walk away whistling.
[Falling by Roy Orbinson plays]
