#anzworz

[lecfoscism]

Can you talk more about Pau and Lamine or Lamine harem in general something that involves Lamine I need something to think about?

i've had a lot of cubayamal/paumine thoughts (thanks nelli) as of recently. more specifically with them as actual boyfriends, SORRY i can't handle anymore stupid gay yearning!!!!

so here's some of my headcanons fwehehe:

definitely still call each other bro 2 months into the relationship

has 5 billion ironic pet names (at least they started off as ironic...)

lamine has no sense of personal space and pau just lets him. they can be twisted in each other's limbs like they're rope whilst being on their own phones and not speaking. lamine will have his foot next to pau's face and pau will literally be watching a tiktok unfazed

^speaking of point before, lamine likes to whine and rant and complain (diva is diva-ing) and he especially likes to do so whilst bothering pau. likeee, his feet are on pau's lap to push away pau's phone, his face is squished against pau's shoulder, he's nudging at whichever body part until pau pays attention to him. very much giving cat!

pau is sweet but definitely still has bastard qualities (he's a teenage boy, come on) so i feel like lamine wont be the only one pulling stupid pranks in their relationship

they show up on their first date awkward and sweaty as hell. pau is wearing a tux with sneakers. lamine has a snapback on. the date is a movie night at pau's house. the barca squad is divided on who they helped get ready that night

speaking of the team, they still treat them like they're babies. definitely makes fun of either one at any chance possible, but are very invested in their relationship. their first date anniversary is marked on the calendar. everybody knows whenever they're going out for a date night

[lecfoscism]

gadri is actually dead im going 2 kms

this is how it feels like to write gadri in big 2025

[lecfoscism]

please talk more cubayamal ideas 💓

sometimes in my head i think of cubayamal as nice loser boy x cool popular girl. not literally but its the vibe they give off. lamine has grown almost bigger than barcelona whilst pau is of course still very much part of the barca bubble in footy discussions.

having a crush on lamine probably feels like crushing on a billboard ad of a cute model. no one will blame you for doing so but its obvious that hes untouchable and not realistic.

it probably feels even weirder since theyre childhood friends, like watching someone you used to play tag and pull stupid pranks with blow up and become a moviestar suddenly. and they still talk to you like youre their friend and everything is normal but you obviously cant ignore the huge gap between you two. it feels like theyre a giant on top of the biggest stage in the world and youre just. there. admiring. yearning

[lecfoscism]

My only question in this whole drama, does pedri ever get jealous when Gavi isn't paying attention to him, is hanging with friends and things like that or like he doesn't care??? Oh and GAVIRA BE A MAN YOU'RE LOSING YOUR WIFE LIKE THIS our princess needs to pay more attention to Gavi because more ideas I read and more I think that Gavi is in the middle of unrequited love and imagine HE'S just asleep and the princess is in a call with Fermin😭 poor Gavi I'm happy I don't have these conflicts with PauLamine AND YOU BETTER DON'T MAKE IT... So when will Gavi get more attention????...

pedri just simply has too many baby daddies... i think they should all fight it out gladiator style

'dont recreate this with PauLamine' oh but what if i do... (im kidding. or am i. im kidding)

[lecfoscism]

https://www.tumblr.com/lecfoscism/787878778889240576/question-who-could-be-among-the-barca-players?source=share

was thinking of this the other day too and my conclusion is i am so sure that he's the neymessi love child i cannot unsee it if i tried . ney gave birth to him after he left barça and never told leo and that's why leo acts like a distant father who only visits to give birthday gifts and film the occasional adidas ad

ANON the image of leo being a distant father is hilarious. what do you think psg days were like though... is that when messi found out??? idk whats more hilarious neymar succesfully hiding lamine for the two years leo was at psg or him immediately sending lamine to la masia when he caught wind of leo leaving barca

also its even funnier if you consider that neymessi continues to haunt mbappe in the form of their lovechild sdhshdhsh

[lecfoscism]

im a big bottom pedri fan but i deadass dont know where to look for content or fics im actually starved

ANON YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE...

even though i prefer gavi/pedri i read anything that has bottom pedri on it tbh. i'll list off some of my fav authors and works, divided by ship! i'll also write some notes about the ship if you're not familiar . all the works are mainly recent since im writing down what i most recently remember:

gavi/pedri - og twinks that revived barca yaoi. 22/23 gadri we (the voices in my head) still talk about you

authors - rainbeam, nehvermind, pornogirl (dove emoji) works/series - one (GOATED SERIES, love this anon), two (THE fake dating longfic), three (also pretty long, i loveee how they wrote pedri), four (lazy morning sex AHHHH), five (lowkey this started my obsession with fwb gadri)

ferran/pedri - omg dude stopppp boys cant do that to each otherrrr

authors - seanlagrange works/series - one (a long one but WOW is it worth it), two (i REALLLYYY enjoyed this one. idk why. it hit all the spots for me) sorry for the lack of fic recs i rarely read fedri (cry emoji)

ok so do NOT flame me for this one. call me woke idc but the fics EAT!!!!!

jude/pedri - whatever the horny equivalent is to ragebaiting and failed nonchalance

authors - keyu712 works - one (I MISS THIS ANON SO MUCH.), two (this work. wow. this entire series by this anon actually. muah), three (lowkey this was the start to the judedri renaissance)

[lecfoscism]

https://x.com/pedrihqs/status/1940301031247945835

I just collapsed

i keep forgetting how crazy this video is until i watch it again and then i REMEMBER... this is everything to me like the way pedri giggles and pulls away... rapha always so sweet when it comes to him... two male girlfriends teaming up to deliver their joint babygirlism...

[lecfoscism]

please tell us more about the threesome between pedri gavi and ferran🙏 princess and her two boyfriends

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL IN MY HEAD!!!!! i know this is not real but that's where the fun is coming from!!! do not gun me down or call me cringe this is tumblr dot com. okay? okay.

also you are on an rpf blog and this post aint maintagged lol, unless we consume the same microplastics and host the same brainworms idk why ur here. if you do not like the certain flavor of microplastics i eat then i am sure there are other blogs who share your appetite <3

so i made a little chart (handwriting reveal), which i like to think captures how i picture the ferran/pedri/gavi dynamic:

if the dumb chart didn't spook/ick you away you can read further explanations:

so yes, i do see gavi/pedri as the married couple. i like to think that they probably got hitched really young (see how people shipped them together when gavi was barely eighteen) and that the wedding was super rushed. like, gavi got pedri pregnant and xavi had the shotgun out type of rushed. they were running on pure down-bad-horniness and leftover money from barca levers. it was almost a vegas wedding. before that, they had a very typical 'crushing on your senior' type of relationship, where it was half puppy love half hero worship from gavi. the marriage was happy, they're still fairly happy right now, but the thing about marrying young is that sometimes you feel like you got tied down way too early and didn't get to fool around, so there's this quiet resentment? insecurity? i dont know. they're in their weird bed separation era right now, which is my cope on why we're seeing less gadri moments. the love is still there, but they're distanced. less passionate? probably not. we all see how gavi is probably experiencing twink death to twunk rebirth right now, and i loveee a pretty top but him showing his forehead has just cemented his handsomeness for me, he really does look like a husband nowadays. sigh, pedri, why do you cheat on this man? which... speaking of...

okay, ferran/pedri though... yummers... they probably knew e/o for way longer than gadri knew e/o. but since ferran is the older one here, and he's way more experienced than pedri, he let them dance around in the ambiguity of a situationship not acted upon (the shark finds it hard to commit, that's why he has so many hoes). sort of backfired because pedri got snatched up by his cute dongsaeng he could never say no to, though. prior engagements however... does not stop 'things' from happening... despite the fedri married jokes i cannot imagine ferran torres as a married man, im sorry. he is sweet but in my heart he will always be a free spirit. probably one of those guys that stay engaged for like 5 years and doesn't see a problem with it. which is why i have him posed as the gadri homewrecker, aka the guy pedri fucks when gavi isnt around! is there feelings here? or is it just sex? that im still debating over. you dont let a situationship fester for years and not have feelings involved!

i know on the chart i wrote ferran/gavi as barely knowing each other, but to be honest this would be the hottest thing i need to see. to me they are different shades of 'guy who is SO horny'. they are both freaks and would def fuck nasty. pedri and me have to be present in the room when it happens though, like we're on the cuck loveseat watching this shit go down with popcorn in our hands. would start by fighting over pedri and end up making out. woah.

so what's the solution to all this? i think you can probably guess. you guys should start learning french cause we're going to see the eiffel tower! okay no but in all seriousness i feel like this either ends in the worst explosion ever or double penetration. maybe if ferran and gavi fuck first they can set aside their differences and go for the latter option. i mean, im hoping that they do (still in my cuck loveseat). but i think that maybe in a healthier universe, they could be a cute throuple. insert i want two boyfriends so i can dress them like twins tweet.

thanks for reading! i think i finally got it all out of my system and can be a normal and functioning member of society now. you have set me free anon, i know this is probably not what you asked for.