Aug 9, 2019
"Be kind to a stranger"
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"Be kind to a stranger"
June 27, 2025
All the guys who’ve been in bed with me:
The air ram
Impulsive nature, eccentric mind. Grand smile and ideas to share. Felt like home–the home that was always on fire and had the backdoor open. His anaerobic reality swallowed me whole. I learned prayer is love.
The earth scorpion
Shadowy traits to combat the bubbly ones. The intensity quickly extinguished by the silliness in him. The chase was lustful and short-lived. I wanted spit, blood, tears, and sweat but got excess honey and vinegar.
The fire centaur
Shot from the hip and kept his charm alongside his passion. Undercurrent of melancholy masked by adrenaline-seeking activities. We both knew what it was and wasn’t but pretended otherwise.
The water cat
Rolled his eyes to the back of his head and purred when pet. Gentle and playful, deep and insightful. Had silly impressions and linens that I clung to. I wanted to eat him alive and he didn’t try to keep me around.
At the beach today and gathered that
1. We are all gorgeous, fleshy and blubbery beings
2. The ocean is the womb of the earth
3. Freud would have loved vapes
You say
You want to be there for me
That worm has lost its hook
Salt water in the eyes stings
And then rinses
I must’ve made a deal with god coming here that the more I try things for myself, despite the observance of others doing them and their results, and getting my hands dirty with personal experiences and failures ,
the more I’ll connect to my souls purpose and feel deep fulfillment in being alive
diary entry: november 8th
breakthrough those intense feelings and desires are meant to drive you somewhere, be a vehicle of sorts. Feelings inspire action, Desires inspire action, but they don't magically produce a result
They aren’t an outcome in themselves
They are informing you to move in a specific direction
god knows I don’t have a
heart beating just to
store in a cool, dry place
june eighth musings
an omen of time, the hourglass at work found laying on its side. the sand split into nearly even pools. time may pass anyways but pace is certainly a suggestion, as is the order. how do you dance through it? time divided: past and future - the present in the air surrounding, nothing material to show for it. nothing time can lock down into form. be fluid then, not as sand or glass, maybe liquid
walking with a wind chime to pack for a customer. every step allowing me to melt into the vibration and be a vessel. do I house such frequencies? I remember thoughts are a frequency and humming is my own sound
a grand heart display nestled in the nook of huntington beach. Love is alive and Love said yes. I cried for them into the ocean. still too many people to bear witness to this oath! give me something private, secret, only God is in the room for!