my opinion on the lucililith dynamic copypasted from discord
i think he and lilith have (had for millenia) a very fun sad and dysfunctional dynamic that was bad for both of them. it goes like this:
lucifer is technically in charge of doing a thing. he wants the thing done. unfortunately he has no idea how to do the thing and also 0 talent or inclination for telling other people to do. like he can create underlings (and has) but the step where he has to actually treat them as underlings is the one that glitches out
(that's what lilith likes about him, fundamentally)
so lilith, who is a great fan of having underlings and being in charge of things, takes over. her husband can sit and rest <3
but lucifer wants to help her
dont worry husband if you did you would probably just mess it up anyway <3 just scupt a statue of me ill put it right over there
this keeps happening
lilith is getting increasingly overworked but the high of Being In Charge Of Things is getting her through it
lucifer is increasingly neglected but also lilith is doing HIM a favor by doing all those responsibilities for him and its his fault because hes so useless so hes going to sit down and keep his trap shut
(lilith could have absolutely delegated more of that, but she enjoys the work, gets 0 negative feedback on the parts she messes up because shes just that charismatic, and lucifer has 0 understanding of the concept of delegation)
eventually lilith builds up low key resentment for her husband being too useless to help her, too (because by now hes repeating that of his own volition, not even offering because he knows the drill)
lucifer simply Takes Her Word For It
when they have a child, the exact same thing repeats: Lilith tells Lucifer that he's too irresponsible to parent (is this in part an attempt to punish him? Maybe. but she doesnt realize that she just thinks she hates that he is). Lucifer takes her word for it. Lilith is too overworked to actually take care of Charlie. Charlie learns to be quiet and unobtrusive :)
8:21 PM]Liliet: (and to always be a piece of sunshine that cheers everyone up because thats the only way being in a room with either of her parents is tolerable)
[8:23 PM]Liliet: Lucifer is a living embodiment of learned helplessness
[8:25 PM]Liliet: and Lilith is simultaneously resentful of him for not doing things and would absolutely never actually ask him to do anything whatsoever that she needs because being The Provider And The Capable One is her core identity and pride
[8:27 PM]Liliet: ...this is actually a bit of the dynamic Alastor is having with him in my fic, but with a teeny tiny self-awareness twist: Alastor is aware that getting Lucifer to do things is as easy as providing detailed instructions, and that the reason Alastor hasn't gotten him to do anything yet is becaus he likes lording it over him that he does everything and Lucifer does nothing
[8:27 PM]Liliet: (Alastor is also, crucially, not his wife)
...
[8:35 PM]Liliet: (it's a "stop! are you holding people to standards you havent told them about and expecting them to read your mind about it?" type problem between the two of them)
[8:36 PM]Liliet: (on lilith's part, that is. lucifer is not holding her or himself to any standards and that is a very fun sort of problem in its own right)
[8:36 PM]Liliet: (and poor charlie is sitting in the middle and smiling like it's going to make them like each other better)
[8:43 PM]Liliet: and Charlie has SO much built up resentment against Lucifer that she's picked up from her mom even though she objectively knows better and so much reverence for her mom that she picked up from Lucifer and she absolutely does not know better
