Two months.
It had been exactly two months since you fled the First Order, leaving behind your life as Apprentice beneath Commander Ren.
You left without any trace or explanation. Ren assumed you left because you didn’t think anyone would care; that they could track down another dark side loving Force-user with ease. He worried that maybe, you thought you were disposable.
It’s not like the lingering glances or touches between you and your Master meant anything anyway — it was all just business. Neither of you had time for feelings or any of that soft shit.
He assumed you’d think he wouldn’t care if you left. That if anything, he’d probably be relieved. That he could find someone older, stronger, more serious about being in one of the most sought after positions in the galaxy.
Kylo was losing his fucking mind, actually.
The worst part was that he could feel you. Everywhere. Not just in the Force signature you’d left behind that lingered in the cold, metal hallways of the Supremacy, or in your former quarters (the same quarters he now only visits once a day, sometimes twice), but he could feel you, out there, running about.
Driving him utterly insane.
He replayed every little conversation in his head, every moment you’d spent together: training sessions, meditations, meal times, quiet moments in cockpits during missions. Trying to piece together every memory, trying to figure out exactly when and how he screwed up.
What he did — or didn’t do — to keep you.
Losing you made Kylo realize how deeply he actually felt about you. The sound of your voice that he felt soothed by, the way your black clothes hugged your body in a manner that would make his pants feel uncomfortably tight, how graceful and calculative your combat skills looked, both in training and actual fights.
He missed the warmth of your scent. The softness of your hair. Those beautiful fucking eyes. Your little quirks, your sense of humor, your confidence, your occasional stubbornness, your persistence.
Gods, he missed you. You haunted his dreams, interrupted his meditation sessions, caused a tightness in his chest that hasn’t disappeared since the day you were suddenly gone.
As if you were never here to begin with.
Kylo’s lip trembled, tears pricking at his hazel eyes as he sat in his quarters after a particularly rough day of training with the Knights. He shook his head, shoving his feelings aside, including the everlasting urge to go sit in your old quarters across the hall and try to smell the barely-there scent of your perfume. He still hasn’t let the cleaning droids come near that room.
Was he….grieving you?
Should he go looking for you? Maybe he could coax you back-
“Why is everyone being a dick to me today?”
Your voice suddenly filled his quarters, pulling him from his daze, the metal door sliding shut behind you. Kylo blinked, tense as ever, quickly rising from his seat and adjusting himself. His eyes were wide, eyebrows furrowed, lips parted.
“I get it, I took a little leave to visit my family, but I really needed it, and I’m glad I did it. Two months without my datapad was really refreshing too. It’s not my fault everyone else here is married to their job.”
Kylo cleared his throat, confused as all hell.
“Apprentice-“
“Especially Hux! He looked at me like I was a ghost. I get that we aren’t on the greatest terms, but he could’ve at least acknowledged me with a nicety.”
“APPRENTICE.”
Your lips snapped shut, eyes widening at your Master’s stern, husky voice. The extra deep version that you only heard when he was at his breaking point.
“What, Kylo?”
“Where the hell have you been?”
“…On vacation? I sent everyone notice like three weeks before I left. And the night before…?”
“Nobody knew you went on vacation.”
“But Officer Mitaka told me to have fun before I left.”
A beat of silence. A creak of leather in Kylo’s gloved hands, now squeezing into big fists. Tight, trembling fists.
“Which database did you forward the notice to?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Eleven. I usually message in eleven.”
“Highest ranking officials message in database thirteen, Apprentice.”
Your pupils dilate, lips parting. “Fuck, is that why none of you guys reacted to the pictures I sent?”
Kylo didn’t know whether he wanted to kill you, or take you right then and there. Irritation and relief pulsed through his body simultaneously as he took in slow breaths of frustration. He was fucking pissed.
And so, so fucking happy.
You were here.
You never really left.
Kylo pulled his lips into his mouth, eyes darkening before he responded. “Medbay. Now. Let’s go.”
“Why?”
“I’m getting you tagged, Apprentice.”