Photo credit: Chris Miyashiro
Again! Again!
I walked into the office today, sat down at the desk that I have been writing at for the summer and promptly realized that this blog post would likely be my last contribution to the Inside Azusa Pacific blog. It’s strange that, in a way, after writing this piece, another chapter, another paragraph, another sentence stands to be written – both for me and this blog.
Have you ever wondered how many things you’ve done for the last time?
In less than ten days, Azusa Pacific University will be teeming with students as incoming first year students make their way onto campus in order to take their first steps as college students and as members of the APU community. It’s been one of my favorite times of the year. As I walk down Cougar Walk, I can see the joy and energy written on the faces of the students that I pass by. Every corner holds something new. Every building has some potential.
For many of my friends and I, this will mark the beginning of the end for us as members of the undergraduate APU community. This is our fourth time around. This isn’t our first Fall back to APU. For some, no doubt, while we smile and laugh as we get to see our friends from all over once more, there will be many of us who sense as though we’ve seen all that APU has to offer. We’ve walked through all the buildings. We’ve taken most of our general education classes. We’ve eaten most things in the 1899 Dining Hall.
What more is there to offer?
As I sit here with my notepad open and scratching out notes about what to write on, I detect a sense of that seasoned temperance that comes with being a senior in my own soul. But, on further reflection, I also sense a bit of exhaustion as well. Perhaps some of you can relate. You’re happy to be here, but you’re ready to move on to greener pastures. This one has gotten a bit too small for some of us. And many of us take that as a cue to check out of the community for the last year.
It all just repeats anyways, so why bother?
“It is supposed that if a thing goes on repeating itself, it is probably dead; a piece of clockwork.” G.K. Chesterton once observed in his work Orthodoxy. “People feel that if the universe was personal it would vary; if the sun were alive it would dance.”
For those of us that feel that rhythmic pattern of the change of the seasons and the classes and the professors, I think we can resonate with that sentiment to some extent. But the funny thing is, Chesterton points out that when we think that we’re right, we might actually be wrong.
“Routine might be due, not to a lifelessness, but to a rush of life … A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged… It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them.”
So where does Chesterton leave me, a raggedy senior well read into the culture and layout of Azusa Pacific? Where does he leave all of us returning to APU for maybe a second or third time? And, most importantly, where does he leave those of us who are just beginning their chapter in college for the first time?
He leaves us in a space to make a choice.
Chesterton leaves us with a thought to mull over before we quit society altogether. Perhaps the reason why there are so many things that repeat time and time again is because they are part of what has made Azusa Pacific University an incredible place for my friends and I. Maybe, just maybe, it can be that for you as well.
Sometimes the things we do continually are because they are the stuff which binds us together, and reminds us that we are part of a larger family, a larger story, a larger world outside of ourselves.
For now, it means that I must duck out for the time being, and invite others to pick up where I and others before me, have left off.
Elofson out.
-Tim E.
