Lavender, Incense, Scars, Rainstorms
LAVENDER: Name something that relaxes you.
“Is not that hard and doesn’t necessarily involve questionable substances. Put on Songs Of Faith And Devotion, let me have a cuppa or somming more substantial, cadge have a smoke, too, and that’s it. Easy formula. Though - and now it’s gettin’ terribly soppy - what really has me blissfully relaxed is listening to another bloke’s heart beat, me arms wrapped around his body and his hand on the small of me back gently drawing invisible circles. It’s only when I lose myself with someone else that I find myself. Well, wasn’t that awfully specific? Yeah. Don’t whine and be glad I didn’t quote Franky Goes To Hollywood, even if the question was begging for it.”
INCENSE: List your three favorite scents.
“For one the smell of coffee in the mornin’. Then… uhm… that particular and long forgotten fragrance of combined new and stale smoke shrouding sweat and cheap perfume and booze, interlaced with semblances of synthetic hailing from the poor ventilation and the fog machine rendering the former completely redundant. Or for short: any club before the awful smoking ban. And third, let me try and reestablish me image as a semi-sophisticated person: the smell of dusty old books promising knowledge.”
SCARS: Share something difficult you’ve been through.
“Puberty counts, right…? Yeah, well. I know it’s not what ye meant. So… the following is not for the faint-hearted. Just a fair advice. Right. It’s no secret, sadly, I’ve made meself known a dark magician in the past. But it wasn’t as easy as just deciding on a one-eighty, ye know? I’ve… fuck, let’s face it: I was an addict. To boot. Blood magic it was, is, still. Cause while I’m painfully, pathetically human including no psychic abilities, using spells is just saying words and then being surprised shit actually happens. Not with blood magic. I can feel it. Me own magic running through me veins. I feel power. I feel meself. I feel whole. And the entire world changes in ways ye would never understand. Bit like an acid trip. Don’t ask. So… of course I needed new ways to induce a high, new spells, more powerful ones. It paid off me ego and it satisfied me bodily craving for a short while. I never failed, there was not one single spell I could not master, so abandoning all that, the high and the power and the only thing I was ever truly marvellous at, proved to be the first difficulty. The second being the actual cold turkey. And when I say difficult, I mean agonising. I locked meself in. Sealed the door magically for the course of one month, knowing full well if somming went pear shaped or if I miscalculated the amount of food I’d need I was done for. Then took me own voice. Can’t do magic without it. It was… terrifying to say the least. But it would be only for a month, yeah?, no biggie. And I was so wrong. I cried and screamed in silence for the most part, I tried to scratch me skin off, I even bit meself to bleed. Was cramping, sweating, trembling. Couldn’t walk, only crawl. Couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to eat. The only reason I recovered me will to survive was that I remembered if I died now, I’d go to Hell. So instead I went through Hell and cleaned up. That’s it. That’s one of the most difficult things I’ve been through.”
RAINSTORMS: What helps you fall asleep?
“Surprisingly enough, since I’ve done a lot to fuck up me sleeping pattern in the past, I don’t have trouble falling asleep. If I’m tired, I can just doss down anywhere. No going-to-bed rituals needed. Guess it’s been a great perk while I was roving around, occasionally sleeping in public libraries by day or in pedestrian subways when I was really unfortunate. As of today, I think the only requirement for me to fall asleep is that I am actually tired. Simple as that.”
