Feb 6, 2019
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*Arab men flirting with their wives* : " what would you do if i marry another woman over you habibti "
Halloween prank~ arab edition
This year’s the first in five that I’m back home for Halloween’s. I usually pull pranks on my friends so it’s only natural I decided to pull one on my mother.
I got a costume set up, which consisted of a messy wig, a white dress, a large knife and some fake blood. I even went the extra mile to set up some booby traps that’ll make chairs and picture frames fall or move, along with flickering lights and scary sound effects.
Pondering over my master plan I waited for 2 hours for my mother to return home. Once she did, the lights began flickering. She proceeded by getting a ladder in attempt to change the light bulbs. Meanwhile Things began moving/falling and thus began the creak noises.
In the matter of secconds, mother had set up a bakhour, grabbed a Quran and began reciting “Sourat Al Bakara”.
I decided it was time to reveal myself in my scary costume. Before I kew it, her flip flop hit me in the face, followed by the other pair, and a bunch of random kitchen utensils. She was yelling so loud and throwing things I had to make a run for it. Before I could even reach the salon (aka. Guest seating area we are not allowed in because it is reserved for non exitent guests) I found her facing me with a belt in her hand telling me to take my shoes off. It’s like she fucking teleported or something. When did she even have time to get the damn belt?!
Frightened and frankly in pain, I obediently listened and proceeded to remove my costume. I’ve been doing house chores for the past week as punishment now.
I am 20 years old and I can confirm: there is nothing scarrier than an arab mother’s rage.
Pictured: an Arab guy spotting me in class and expecting me to defend all his shitty opinions
Small rant
I know for sure someone's gonna take this the wrong way, but I feel like people draw Damian with way to dark skin. My family is from the Middle East just like he is and they are about half as dark. Lots of people draw him with skin more equal to that of further south in Africa. I'm not saying we should white wash Damian (because I know for a fact someone is going to take it that way) but please please keep in mind not everyone from Africa has super dark skin.
👨🏻: one water please
👱🏼: I'm sorry what?
👨🏻: water
👱🏼: can you repeat that..
👨🏻: warer
👱🏼: aahhh warer!!
Me: "I don't wanna get engaged until after I graduate" Mama: "ok" Also Mama: "fe 3arees"
Missed my final
My final is on the 21st of May, which is tomorrow. I’ve been studying really hard for the past 2 weeks and I haven’t had alot of sleep. My sister decided it would be a fucking great idea to ask me when is my exam. I told her it was tomorrow the 21st.
“21st is today” she replied.
I can’t explain how bloodshot and wide my eyes open they were practically trying to escape my skull. I thought I had missed my exam! Somehow I manage to find the common sense to look at the time and it was 00:07. FFS SIS YOU JUST DECIDED TO EXERCISE YOUR WHITE GENES AT THIS PARCTICUALR MOMENT HUH? Let your inner Tiffany sit the fuck down with her time accuraccy. We’re arabs. Tomorrow means in 3 days. Got it?