As soon as Archer walked into his bedroom, his mind clouded with thoughts of what might still be very much alive between himself & his past, the blond’s phone rang. He didn’t even have to look at the name on his screen. There was no question in his mind. He knew that it was Tobias.
Archer sighed heavily into the phone. Fine. How are you, Toby?
Tobias paused before answering, pacing across their bedroom floor. When Ellie is awake, things seem okay but as soon as she’s asleep…. the house just feels so empty. I feel so empty. I miss you, baby. Maybe I don’t deserve to, but I do.
The blond drew in a deep breath, unsure of what to say.
Sorry, Tobias continued, defeat in his tone. I’m not trying to pressure you.
I just don’t know what to say anymore, Toby.
Though there was no one there to see, Tobias nodded his head in understanding. Do you miss me at all? While he knew it was a very loaded question, he couldn’t stop himself from asking as the words left his mouth.
Archer sighed, thinking for a moment before responding. Of course I do, Toby. But then I think about everything & I just… it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
His husband grimaced at his words, not knowing how to take them in. What do you mean? he asked.
Our relationship… The way I used to look at it & the way it all seemed… it feels different now, Tobias. I feel different.
The longer they spoke, the more Tobias’ fear grew. Hearing that was like a knife to the heart but still he tried to keep his tone even. No matter what, he assured the younger man. I still love you more than anything.
For a moment, Archer considered being blatantly honest with his husband. The fear he felt for the huge change mixed with the sadness in the other man’s voice stopped him. Taking a deep breath, he changed the subject & ended the conversation. I’ll see you in the morning when you drop Ellie off, okay?
Tobias looked around their bedroom, a lost feeling in his soul. He knew that something he had wanted, something he was sure he would have never found, was suddenly missing. His world had shifted & somehow, he had to win the blond back. Not wanting to push him too hard in the process, he conceded. I’ll see you then. Goodnight, gorgeous.
Without another word, the dancer ended the call, tossing the phone onto his bed before he felt his pale blue eyes fill with tears. I miss you so much, Toby, he whispered to himself, knowing that it still changed nothing between them.
