Lydia or himself tbh
one way or another ;
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[ Jackson would never heal from Lydia; she would forever be an open wound. But he supposed, at least, if he could fall in love once, he could fall in love again. Pain is only bothersome until the wound goes NUMB. And maybe he would have to kid himself, but at least one day Jackson would dead as well. Pain is as temporary as life, and Jackson valued his too much to give it up for a person who is destined to leave this physical existence anyway, just as Jackson will one day do the same. ]
Myself.
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