MARCH BLOG
Illustration by Miki Howenstein
Here to heal
March 20 (in the book “Jumbo Jumble”)
1) There is one question that no one will ask of those who use violence to make their point: What hurts you so bad that you feel you have to hurt me in order to heal it?
This does not condone violence, but it can help us to understand it —and to understand how to stop it. CwG (Conversations with God) says, "No one does anything inappropriate, given their model of the world." Embracing the wisdom in those eleven words could change the course of human history.
2) The next time someone hurts you, ignore the hurt and ask this question (in passage 1 above) silently, in your heart, or, if you have a particularly open and honest relationship with the other person, you can actually address the question verbally.
Try it sometime. It is a terrific argument stopper. It is a terrific abuse ender.
JR: Building from yesterday’s reflection, this one digs deeper, seeking to comprehend another’s pain and the underlying cause of that pain. Through grasping the deeper source of the other’s distress, you can be more understanding of the real reason behind her lashing out. And perhaps even more importantly, by realizing the root of your own emotional malaise, you can search for ways to heal the wound without inflicting injury on others.
PP: Who are you hurting now, in actions or in words? What is the cause of your hurt that is making you do this, and in what way can you better deal with it, moving towards healing?
PA: I’m guilty of offending others who have a diametrically opposed political viewpoint from me. A simple example is my view that a growing disparity in wealth creates so many of the problems in our society, and therefore tax cuts for the wealthy are detrimental to society. And feeling that those who don’t agree are clueless. I’ve tried to move towards “healing” by disagree with me on this and understanding them, agreeing to disagree. It increases my understanding, and hopefully theirs as well.