Be My Muse
Pairing - Aritst!Bucky Barnes x Reader (Childhood best friends to lovers)
Summary - Muse - A person or spirit that gives an artist the desire to create things
Bucky has been in love with you for years, but just can't get himself to say it. So, instead, he decides to show you.
Warnings - None, just fluffy fluff
Word Count - 2.4k
a/n - This is for @buckybarnesevents ‘s Connect 4: June-iverse event. Card Number - C4037 for the prompt C1 - Aritst. Thank you to the lovely @bluehourbucky for motivating me to actually finish writing this.
"Come on, Buck. Just tell me."
You watched as the man you called your best friend shook his head, once again refusing to let out anything about his upcoming art exhibition.
"Oh, come on. Don't be this way." You didn't want to pressurize him, but he was acting weird about this exhibition for the past 2 months.
Every single time when he had an art exhibition coming up, he would ramble about it for weeks to you and you loved it. The way he was excited about what he had made and also the way his nervous ticks showed up always a week before the actual event, you loved every bit of it. But this time, he hadn't spoken a word remotely related to it.
To top it all off, he had said that this was the most important exhibition of his life.
You were bound to be scared.
"Okay, what about this, you give me a hint, about anything, it doesn't even have to be the centerpiece, literally anything, and I will stop bugging you." You were practically begging now.
"Come on, doll. You are going to come to the main event. You can look at it then." He said putting your cup of coffee in front of you, is pretty much one of the only ways to distract your mind.
"See it then? With everybody else? Is that what I am to you, now, Buck? Just a person in the audience? I knew this day would come." You picked up your cup and with a dramatic turn walked out of the room.
Had you stood there for a moment longer, you would have seen the way Bucky scratched his thumb and bit his lips, two of his most prominent nervous ticks.
Only if he could tell you that you weren't just a person in the crowd. No, you were much more than that. You were everything .
He just had to wait.
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The day of the exhibition came sooner than he would have liked, but to you, it couldn't have been further away.
Bucky had been a little distant with you for the past week and you hated it. You hated it more than anything else in the world.
Usually, he would take you with him to carry out the errands related to the exhibition, 'cause he always got super nervous and you would be there to ground him. Like anchoring him back to the shore.
But this time, you had absolutely no idea what even was the theme of this exhibition. Every single time you offered to go with him for anything, he would always make excuses, and you were confident that they were lies 'cause when did Bucky start to go grocery shopping in the middle of the week?
In the almost 2 decades you had known him, ever since you were a kid, he had never hidden something this important from you.
To say that you were scared would be an understatement.
When you finally entered the exhibition, you were proud to see how many people had shown up. You had always known that Bucky would do exceptionally well as an artist and you had taken every chance you got to tell him exactly that.
As you were about to turn the corner and look at the first painting, you almost collided with a wall of muscle.
You looked up only to be met by the gaze of one of your closest friends.
"Steve, hey!!"
You saw as Steve tried extremely hard to hide the huge grin that threatened to spread across his face and you could swear you saw happy tears brimming in the corner of his eyes.
You squinted as you took a step to the side to let a man walk in, realizing you were blocking the way.
"Y/n, you need to come with me."
"Not now, Steve. It's Bucky's exhibition. I need to stay here."
"He has asked you to come with me."
You narrowed your eyes as you asked, "Are you sure?"
Steve nodded as he took your hand to try and take you away from the paintings.
Dread filled your chest. Did Bucky really not want you in here so much?
You follow Steve as he leads you toward an isolated door of the arena.
You turn to look at him and he signals you to get inside.
"Okay, if you are kidnapping me, I might as well let you know that no one is going to pay a single penny as ransom to you." You joke. You have been friends with Steve almost for as long as you have been with Bucky and you trusted them with everything.
Steve chuckles before replying, "Just go in, y/n."
You open the door and take a step in, only to realize that it's pitch dark. Before you can turn back to look at Steve, the door closes behind you.
You take a deep breath and call out, "Bucky? I swear to god if it's one of your stupid pranks, I'll kill you."
Suddenly, a small light gets switched on beside you and you turn to realize that it beautifully illuminates a painting.
You take a step forward towards it, only to realize that it is a sketch of an eye and it's beautiful .
You can see the way it shines with a glint even though it's just a sketch and you bring your hand forward to run it across it.
It is then that you notice the little note sitting at the bottom right corner of the sketch.
All the city lights combined couldn't shine brighter than your eyes.
Your lips turned upwards into a smile as you read the words. Even though you had absolutely no idea what was happening, it was a huge comfort to know that it was all Bucky's doing. You could recognize that handwriting anywhere.
You looked around hoping to figure out at least something, but all that the little illumination below the sketch showed you was that it was more probable than not a huge hall.
Not even a moment later, another small light was switched on just beside the first one.
It was a painting this time. A very old painting.
It was a small girl sitting on a swing hanging from the tree. A blissful smile on her face, carefree and oblivious to the troubles of the world.
When you noticed the bracelet that she was wearing, you took a step forward, squinting to focus on the painting.
It was you.
And then the memory of that day placed itself at the forefront of your brain.
"Come on, Buck." The little 11-year-old girl called out to the brown-haired boy.
He just shakes his head and refuses to move away from under the tree he is sitting, a sketchbook in hand.
"Why do you even like painting so much?" She had asked, crossing her arms across her chest, puffing in annoyance at his lack of response before walking away towards the swing herself.
A smile finds its way to your lips at the memory. It was about a couple of years after the both of you had met, and yet, it was as clear as day in your mind. Even after all the memories you and Bucky created together over the years, small - innocent ones like these from all those years ago never left your heart.
You look at it intensely for a long time. A couple of tears brimming at the corner of your eyes.
It's been so long. You couldn't help but think. The both of you had grown up but never grew apart. There was always a connection, an instant pull that always brought the both of you back to each other, almost like how no matter how far any of you went, you never forgot your way back home.
After some time, you finally noticed the little note written in the bottom left corner of the painting, just like in the first one. But this one was different. This sentence was the one that would change your whole life for you. In the best way possible. It read :
The day that 12-year-old fell in love, without even knowing what love meant. All he knew was that he was going to love that girl with everything he had, till his last days and beyond.
Your breath hitched in your throat. He loved you.
Bucky Barnes was in love with you.
That's when it hit you.
Everything you have ever wanted. The only thing your heart has ever yearned for, was right in front of you all along.
The love that you had read about in books, the kind of love that swallowed you whole until there was no part left untouched, the love that you have looked for your entire life, has been right there. Right beside you. In the form of the oceanic blue eyes that had enamored you for the last 20 years.
You were in love with your best friend.
The realization doesn't hit you like a truck, or leave you gasping in surprise, it brings with it a sense of peace, a sense of everything falling into place.
You look around frantically searching for the man that you had loved all along without ever knowing it.
You loved him when he fought those bullies to protect Steve and got hurt in the process.
You had loved him when he had brought you cookies when you had gotten sick during Christmas, not being able to move.
You had loved him when you had supported him in his decision to do what his heart desired, in his journey of becoming an artist.
You had loved him when the both of you had said your goodbyes while leaving for college in distant cities when the tears had fallen from your eyes and on the ground and he had comforted you that your friendship won't fall apart.
You had loved him in the nights that were spent staring at the stars together, in the afternoons that had been spent watching movies, curled up beside each other, just the two of you.
You had loved him then, and you love him now and you were pretty sure you were going to love him till the world was nothing but dust.
A light suddenly gets switched on just beside the old painting, and this time too, it's you.
Painted years after the last one, it's you staring at the night sky, a soft, content look on your face.
This time, your eyes frantically search for the note, and sure enough, it's right there, at the bottom.
'Cause, darling without you,
All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars we steal from the night sky
Will never be enough
Never be enough
You can now feel tears rolling down your cheeks, as your lips turn into the widest grin possible.
You turn around and as you do so, all the lights in the room begin to turn on, each revealing a painting of you. Taken in the simplest moments.
There is one with you in the kitchen, covered in flour, a pout evident on your face as you had tried to bake a cake for the first time.
There was one where you were sitting at the beach, staring into the ocean.
The one that you liked the most was the one in which you were sleeping contently, a blanket loosely draped over you, that you could swear hadn't been there before.
Before you can look at the rest of them, a voice comes from the corner of the hall and you turn just in time to look at Bucky Barnes himself.
Your smile grew wider if it was even possible and you almost ran off to embrace him when he started speaking.
"One day, you asked me why I drew. Why I felt the need to express whatever it was I felt through a canvas. I didn't tell you, then, but now I want to, doll.
It's you. It's always been you. You have been my muse, my pillar of support, my motivation to get up every morning, my need to paint because there was no other way I could express to the girl I was in love with that she was all I ever dreamt about. That she was everything I could ever want.
I love you, doll. I love you with everything I am and everything I'll ever be. There are a hundred ways this could fall apart, and trust me, I have thought about each one of them more than I should have. But if there is one chance that this could work, that I could be yours, not just in movie nights or weekly trips to the grocery market, but in every way possible, I want to take that chance. In slow mornings and in intimate nights, in tough days and in the celebratory evenings, I want you, I need you to be a part of all of them, doll because life just doesn't feel like life without you."
As if your feet had gained a mind of their own you ran towards him, circling your arms around his neck and pressing his lips to yours.
The kiss was gentle, soft, full of need and unspoken feelings, of time lost, it was everything .
He pulled you impossibly closer to him, not wanting to ever let go.
Finally, when the both of you pulled away, still staying close with the widest possible grins on your faces, you whispered, "I love you too, Buck. So damn much." You say it so slowly, it feels like a dream to him.
You would one day shout out to the world how much you loved him, but for now, it was going to be your little moment. When the city of Brooklyn went about its day just like it did every day, two people who were irresistibly, irrevocably in love with each other stood there, holding each other, in the gentlest of embraces, embers of their love while keeping them warm, strong enough to burn the whole world down.
You stay there for what feels like forever before Bucky whispers. "Doll, be my muse?"
You look up at him, drowning in his oceanic blue eyes, only to reach home, before you whisper, "Forever."