#arkloue

[arkloue]

Telling people how you feel doesn’t get you anywhere

The Truth is electric

It strikes red like teeth in flesh

And makes spines weak like mesh

It forces air from necks

The Truth is deep

So deep it makes my body ball, begging to be believed

To be retrieved

But like him, so hard to achieve

Was it because I doubted my choice?

Maybe if my body was as strong as my mind I would have smiled in response

And my soul would have rejoiced

And if my body were a trunk not a leaf

I would have chosen the right voice

But you’re so easy to believe

And so easy to need

My eyes murmer at your gaze, from your lips to your shoulder blades

Breath to your chest

Fingers linger at your neck and beg

Tell her the truth

Tell her so she can rest her legs

Tell me so I can go to bed

/arkloue

[arkloue]

24 July 2017

See how he works? He does nothing but I'm on the floor reaching for his love.

I was weak when he knew me so when strength came I ran away. And found men who moved. Men like leaves, who swayed with every breath and I yearned to be lifted. For action to be put against me. They held me and I thought I would fly. Men with hands like waves, men who cascaded over me like star songs and made me want to climb trees again. Men with tongues like forks who grazed over me like forest fires. Men who rocked me then dropped me. Loved me then cut me.

I wanted my stillness back.

My heaviness to return. To be brought cold when I needed heat.

See how he works? He doesn't move but I know he disapproves. I'm on the floor begging for his love and he offers it in exchange for everything else.

I give him my blood but I know it's not enough.

It won’t ever be enough.

arkloue

[arkloue]

T

I wish I could forget it. I thought I was over it but then you hugged me and I didn’t wanna move. I could feel you crying into my neck and I tried to hold my tears back and all you kept saying was “I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.” My favourite thing was when you’d stroke my face; last night that’s all you did. Kissing me and saying you missed me. I missed you too; that’s all I could say. Kissing me and saying I was beautiful. And I felt so raw, completely unprepared for the moment and you kept kissing me. And then I was saying I wouldn’t see you till the end of summer and I wanted to forget it but I didn’t think I could. Kissing me and saying you were all mine and you’d wait forever. I wish you didn’t do that to me, I didn’t deserve it. But now you're here. It was 3am, you always spent the night; why would you even try to leave? Kissing me and wishing you could turn back time. And then I was hugging you and you held me so tight I thought my back would break and I didn’t care. Kissing me and saying you wish you met me earlier. Kissing me and making songs for me. Kissing me and telling me you want me. Kissing me and looking into my eyes like I was breaking your heart. Kissing me and moaning my name. Kissing me and kissing her.

[arkloue]

unprofound

Don’t ask him what colour his eyes are. He’ll roll them cause he knows you’re trying to fall in love. 

I’m working on a lil book

[arkloue]

dune swells

I have a finger made of rivers in a sleeve and veins in knees  Freaked and muddied Burnt and sullied 

But close to you 

Washed on trees Dark like leaves  Bent in waves like thorns in brains 

You’re late again 

I thought I’d be rid of you I should become prey 

Aches of shattered Ribena bottles, glitter pupils  Doused in seeds from Babylon High and alone 

Please stay You made me let go She was more then we could ever be 

But was it worth me? /arkloue2016

[arkloue]

The Raging Imperatrix

who am i?

the stardust in your coffee a dull ache in between ribs so blunt it would beat rather than carve

fatigue weighs down the smatterings of feathers on long broken wings flight so feeble so frail, a breath would break it’s course

flight so lonesome, blacked out connections and dots like pepper on snow define the cost of time

rather run, or wail call for a lover or him or someone to make the water deeper to turn the charcoal steeple to gold

or grow the roots on my spine burn the leaves in my knees and post card my dreams

placebo’d pills so they’re easier to swallow

consummate me

enflame my bones, make them bold

/arkloue 2016

[arkloue]

STUDIES

Why did you let them grow so strong? Now your world is so flat, if you ran, the wind could throw you off You have everything you need In your right hand and on your back And all the songs that he sings Could bring you the home that you lack

Where you fall in love with all the things that you own “I see dead people, coloured white by all their light.” Where my hurricanes leave peasants on thrones And Kings and Queens with no homes

Seems I fall in love with all my friends I bring death in the eos of my night And they fall in love with the night But do not see the light

‘O se’, now the ghosts are violet And the living glow gold 'Et tu’, the body of sanctity Sacred in your geometry, stay bold

/arkloue 2015

[arkloue]

Devolving

I am held down  Berried and battered  Tragic, and harrowed  Buried and sorrowed 

And you’re so different now  I don’t know quite how 

But this is what happens  Now you make my lungs howl 

Oh you’re so different now  I am deep down  Old and long owned  Watching him steal - me  Watching him leave 

Me, nineteen, at home  Long alone, and now I can’t think 

He can’t dance  But god he can drink  And I guess that’s close enough 

You only want me when you’re drunk You only want me when you’re drunk

You only want me when you’re drunk

/arkloue 2015