#arm's length

[thetrifrmphm]

IG for my lyric paintings over @eidepaints :)

[himynameisjackson]

[burningcomputerpersona]

BET I CAN HOLD MY BREATH LONGER THAN YOU CAN UNDERWATER AND I'LL CLING TO YOUR COLLARBONES HAPPILY!!!! AND YOU SOUND JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER BUT YOUR VOICE CARRIES FARTHER YOU WON'T GROW TO BE TALLER HALF ASLEEP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[burningcomputerpersona]

When trying hard not to remember makes you think about it more I stand up straight, you measure, and you mark it on the door Never saw you walk on water But I watched you mother four You couldn't raise me like a father When we're choking on our child support Well, am I smart? Or just thinking really hard? Destined for dementia Doomed right from the very start And our trauma bond was tangled in tape from the VCR So sick to my stomach I was force-fed the fear of the dark And when you lose all muscle memory Forget completely how to stand You know I won't let you forget me I'll come convince you who I am Make you understand Touch and go Now you see me, now you don't Phantom limb affection Crave the feeling of your ghost Now you're forging all the symptoms that you Never had supposed Learning to live with them Said it's easier to live alone Sick from the soothing Drowning in dreams Shell-shocked in shelter You'll pass in your sleep The thorn in my side was grown from your ground You're never before seen, never again found And when you lose all muscle memory Forget completely how to stand You know I won't let you forget me I'll come convince you who I am I came to see How the world looks without me Is it all you thought it'd be? Living in loving memory You built me a home inside a bucket And you're poking some holes up top so I can breathe Knew I was lying If I had to look away Do you think we'd be friends when we were younger? If I knew you back then, God knows who I would be Walking in semicircles To shape this baby face You built me a home inside a bucket And you're poking some holes up top so I can breathe Knew I was lying If I had to look away Do you think we'd be friends when we were younger? If I knew you back then, God knows who I would be Walking in semicircles To shape this baby face A picture portrait of you, you're pouting Plucked from the days where you couldn't feel a thing A thousand words and always counting But you, I can't explain

[burningcomputerpersona]

I let you in and you took everything as I knew it And you wore out my name 'cause you swore I was going to lose it Still, if I had the choice I would take out my voice from the music So when days feel the same I can paint on a face for amusement Well, you marked up my walls, told me that I looked small at the waistline You said "What's your excuse", I took up too much room for the first time I've got too much on my plate, I haven't eaten in days, but I feel fine I'm just worried and wondering why If you notice me limping Well, would you still take me in? Like baby teeth nibbling Falling out when they break your skin How many blocks make a building? How many times 'til it's effortless? But who am I kidding When my wit's not so quick? Well, it pours when it rains You were left out all day, you were shaking And you're making your mark pushing everything hard on the pavement Well, I let you in and you took everything just to take it (Just to take it) And you wore out my name 'cause you know how I ache when you say it, oh Yeah, you know how I ache when you say it, oh

[burningcomputerpersona]

Explain the paranormal Or just tell me what you saw You're having dreams about the silhouettes you draw And you're still laying low But you are hardly missing anything at all It's like the fear of missing out has met its match When you're what's missing I spent my best years playing mercy with your ghost You'll never beat me but you're getting really close And you're crushing up my pills I'm scared to swallow (I slow the speed of sound, coming from your mouth) But I always choke And you beg to differ I matched my breath with your breath I do it just for fun You'd like to think I'm counting each and every one But I lost my focus You call my name with a tin can on a string You can count on me, but fuck, who's counting? You always said you'd be crying if you could I know what you meant But I still wish you would (I still wish you would) I spent my best years playing mercy with your ghost You'll never beat me but you're getting really close And you're crushing up my pills I'm scared to swallow (I slow the speed of sound, coming from your mouth) But I always choke And you beg to differ If I knew half the things you know I'd never shut the fuck up, oh You only slept right in the cold Shoot for the sky 'til someone goes I wrote it down so I'd remember I need to write my thoughts down more But I could barely read my own damn writing I've always rathered reading yours I've always rathered reading yours Begged them to burn your body They buried you instead Said you couldn't tell the difference when you're dead When I'm scared to swallow Where you go, I'll follow I'll follow

[burningcomputerpersona]

Struggling to finish the stories I tell An extra pillow to prop me up when I'm unwell You are always up in arms But it just made sense to me Was feeling sorry for myself 'cause I can't see clear Find it tough to forgive when you’re so self-aware Can you spell it out for me Until it's muscle memory? You wrote off your pride And I wrote you a letter If you have the time I wish you'd live forever The cloud in your head Is changing the weather And how I come across Looks better on paper I can't tell apart sooner from later It’s the type of loss that can swing in your favour You wrote off your pride And I wrote you a letter If you have the time I wish you'd live forever The cloud in your head Is changing the weather Depersonalized, or simply self-centered? And how I come across Looks better on paper I can't tell apart sooner from later It's the type of loss that can swing in your favour (Your favour) You wrote off your pride And I wrote you a letter If you have the time I wish you'd live forever You wrote off your pride And I wrote you a letter If you have the time I wish you'd live forever

[burningcomputerpersona]

I'm not concerned that you'd kill for me But you don't even live for me I beg you to get out of bed You spoke only in similes And smiled at the symmetry Whatever made sense in your head You said Don't let me know you got home Man, I wanna feel more alone Don't hold out hope Hold your hands around my throat Your days are numbered and you know You're waxing and waning Torn picking between your skin and bones You flicker, you're fading Now you're winding me up and I'm twirling and dancing inside of your music box dreams Learning to love from the men in my family only gets you so far it seems Don't let me know you got home Man, I wanna feel more alone Don't hold out hope Hold your hands around my throat Your days are numbered and you know You're waxing and waning Torn picking between your skin and bones You flicker, you're fading How many times am I told I won't go through it alone When there's nothing I want more? Here, you'll always have a home I think I found what I needed just as you were leaving Guess you would've had to have been there to believe it, I know If you could bring anyone, who would you bring? Each lower-case city and bad hiding place If you're like this with everyone, I swear that's okay I'm the intrusive thought that you can't shake away And I'll give you my jacket, you can call me old fashioned, oh I'm just an accident waiting to happen, oh no 'Cause I'm bound to go braindead or better, insane And there's no guarantee you would love me the same Put me up on your shoulders, I've been standing all day Crooked, craning my neck at a formative age I was taught slow and steady but I'm running on empty You said "I miss you already" Are my hands too heavy to hold? It's like I'm walking on eggshells inside of my brain A minefield of memories I'm stuck in one place