Proverbs and "Chronicles"
"A foolish child is a calamity to a father; a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping" (Proverbs 19:13).
I normally think of Christianity as a "traditional family values" religion. "American Family Radio," crazy fundamentalists boycotting Disney movies because in the 1990's the company was an ally to those weird rainbow people. Hope said that when she told people she had 12 brothers and sisters, they would ask her "Are you a Mormon? Do you own a cow? Were y'all allowed to watch Disney movies?"
In this biblical verse, family gets a pretty bad rap. Are you a fool? You are not just an annoyance. You are a calamity to Daddy. You are a bout of colon cancer. You are a house getting flooded. On the flip side, people who argue with their spouses are annoying drips. Family gets a pretty negative portrayal. It's not dissing homosexuals or adulteresses. It's dissing stupid and annoying people. I argue. I am stupid and annoying. Godvoice calls me fool. People like me are wrecking the family and have been for millennia. I do not like the book of Proverbs anymore. Pray for me and other argumentative, stupid, annoying people. The family is in danger if y'all don't. I am not joking. Pray for all the stupid, annoying, argumentative people in your family; because only God is powerful enough to transform an unpleasant, unpalatable personality into a delicious one. If y'all value y'all's families, pray.
"Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the LORD can give an understanding wife" (Proverbs 19:14).
Heed this verse, bachelors. Don't get married unless God gives you the woman. "An understanding wife" is God's gift to a man. Marry whomever He tells you to, for a very simple straightforward reason: Americans are bad at marriage. I am guessing you might be American. We suck at this. Christians and non-Christians in this country are terrible at marriage. There are so many divorces. Obey God because you are probably incompetent at family. We as Americans are.
Me: Chronicles is a boring book, Man.
Godvoice: You mean 1 and 2 Chronicles? Learn how to count. You are dissing my bible, and you don't know the difference between singular and plural.
Boring Bible trivia: 1 & 2 Chronicles were in the "Writings" in the Jewish bible, along with other more fun books like Psalms and Song of Songs. I think the Jews got it wrong. The Christians put these books in with the other historical books, Joshua, Judges, 1&2 Samuel, and 1&2 Kings. Maybe I am being anti-Semitic, but this arrangement makes a lot more sense to me. The Jews put a lot of the historical books with the "major prophets." I never really thought of 1 &2 Kings as being prophetic, but I am probably wrong and am probably reading the bible wrong. I frequently do.
The reading I read in 1 Chronicles today was actually really cool. King David gathered a whole bunch of iron to make nails for the Temple his son King Solomon would build. I immediately thought of the Chinese proverb, "You don't use good iron to make nails, and you don't use good men to make soldiers." Ironically, later in the passage it said that King David was not allowed to build the Temple because he was not holy enough: --- he was too good a warrior; he had killed too many people. His son King Solomon was given the task of building the Temple because he was a "man of peace." King David was an elite, skilled killer. King Solomon was a "man of peace" who at the end of his life worshiped his wives' gods when he was not supposed to. God loved both of them dearly, and they wrote a lot of the bible. Christians believe that it is an eternal royal dynasty because Jesus is their legal descendant through his father Joseph, and He is King forever.
