#arorambles

[desiaroace]

Me: I'm Aromantic Asexual

Them: But you're going to end up all alone!

Me:

[desiaroace]

Me: I’m Aromantic Asexual Them: But you gotta like someone! Me:

[panflutesexual]

my sketches always look a billion times better than the final result why

[panflutesexual]

Okay, here’s something that happened today that I’m gonna rant about and you can’t stop me. 

Today in Spanish class we were talking about learning foreign languages till native fluency, and the topic, as usual, was brought onto me. I’m Chinese and I moved to the United States six years ago when I was nine. Now, I’m basically a normal American teenager and most people assume that I was born in the US and are pretty surprised when they find out: “Woah, your English is great for a non-native speaker! I can’t believe you learned English that fast! I’ve known you for so long and haven’t even noticed, you don’t have an accent at all!” Now, I’m absolutely flattered by all these comments about my language abilities, but usually, (like today in class) it comes down to this:

"Can you say something in Chinese?"

I have bad social anxiety and this is one of the questions I’m the most triggered by. It’s not that I don’t know how to speak Chinese, I would just rather not do it in front of a group of people who don’t understand the words I’m saying and would probably bug me about saying Chinese all the time from now on and  I’m never prepared so I don’t really know what words to say and what if they think it’s sounds stupid or even worse if they make fun of me in the future because of it? 

I’ve had this conversation with most of the class already on different occasions and they know that I’m uncomfortable with it, so I was a bit confused when everyone started asking me that again. Didn’t we go over this already?

So I panic for a bit and try to politely refuse and give a bit of an explanation “it’s weird to speak it in front of people who don’t understand it”

This is when some girl looks me dead in eyes and say “I can understand it.”

"I’m sorry, what?"

"I can understand Chinese."

I almost lose my shit right then and there because she’s a middle class white girl in a suburban school and has never been out of the country and she just lied to my fucking face to get me to speak a foreign language to her and is just fucking with me for the sake of it

I raise my voice a little and say that I’m just not comfortable with it and I don’t have to do it if I’m not comfortable with it 

And the entire room acts as if I cussed and backs away like “woah no need to get snappy about it”

They just treated me like some doll with a string on my back that they can pull on a whim to make me say things to entertain them

I don’t understand why that’s so hard to understand I’m a person not a rare collectible that they show off 

"Hey everyone, Jessy is Chinese. She can speak Chinese. Speak Chinese for them, Jessy."

The same thing happens when they found out I could rap. Jessy is Asian and Asians usually don’t rap so let’s make her rap whenever we want to because it’s entertaining

I’m tired of putting up with this bullshit. 

[panflutesexual]

you can tell im on my fucking period because i cuss five times more than usual