Good point re: shadow work. I'm (v slowly) working through a book that has a section on shadow work, and that's exactly how the author lays it out. It didn't resonate with me at all, and I wasn't sure why until I saw your post and related to it. I think shadow-selves, like literally everything else int he universe, is a spectrum, and what's represented in that book and others is just one point on the wheel. (1/2)
It's funny to me that in the book I have, the shadow-self is described as a whole separate villain who only does bad things. But I think for a lot of us, it's not separate at all. A lot of the things I'd consider "shadowy" about myself are already integrated into my whole being, and yes, they're things I need to suppress to maintain relationships etc., but like... idk, everyone's aware of those things already. And what does it mean if your shadow-parts are like... neutral at best? lmao (2/2)
I think the typical kind of shadow work is good for people who have a lot of shame about their less socially-acceptable parts, because the toxicity of that shame really warps their relationship with themselves. which, incidentally, makes shadow work perfectly reasonable for any part of oneself that has been warped by toxic shame -- so, yeah, becoming friends with any part of oneself that has gone neglected or has been devalued is important imo
I think the focus tends to be on the “ugly” parts because the typical manner of socialisation is about suppressing things that are “negative” or whatever. like getting in touch with one’s rage is a big thing these days because a lot of people have been taught to never be angry, to be a doormat to other people so they’ll like you, etc. so I get it... it’s just the nature of my toxic programming is that I was taught to suppress everything that made me seem “weak” or made me vulnerable to other people because it’s a dog-eat-dog world etc etc
so my selves are definitely still polarised in a way that’s easy to see -- just in the opposite way from what you’d expect lol. and that’s 1000% because of Trauma(tm). I think it’s also perfectly reasonable to just... not have a shadow. to feel secure in the whole of your being already, without having to have gone through this whole process. there are so many ways to have a self/selves and sometimes integration of your myriad parts comes easier to some people than others (I’d argue that neurodivergence makes these experiences far more varied, which is why stuff like shadow work looks so one-dimensional to us) (and sometimes our experience with internal work just happens organically, because we already think like this -- whereas neurotypical society had been notoriously outward-focused until recently when mindfulness etc became trendy)
ANYWAY LMAO I FORGOT IF I HAD A POINT OR NOT
