#arsenal gap programme

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For the Culture

This week’s blog is about the music, food and other cultural nik naks. Enjoy.

Music

Unlike Western Africa, SA music tends to be more of the House/Electronic genres. When the fateful day of departure comes, one song in particular will board the flight back to Heathrow with me. Prince Kaybee - Charlotte pumps through every radio station and DJ’s decks in Johannesburg. You’ll hear it in shops, bars and taxis. It’s everywhere. And rightly so. It’s a Summer anthem. Like a chilled out Disclosure track.

Another big track in Johannesburg is Black Motion - Imali. Step into any bar or club and chances are it won’t be long before you hear it’s hypnotic repetitive beauty.

When it’s time to dance, slap on Okmalumkoolkat - Gqi. See my instagram video where a kid demonstrates how to bust a move to this massive SA banger (www.instagram.com/p/BUJsMyBBSDy).

This next one’s a cheeky acoustic number. Play it now and I guarantee your mum will be like ‘who’s this?’. Thee Legacy - Wena Wedwa (Music Craftman Remix)

I can’t lie, I heard this one when I was drunk but its basically some mad house track with Nelson Mandela reeling off some killer quotes. Elite stuff. Euphonik - Domination

I don’t know if I like this or hate it. It enters your brain and gets stuck inside. Distruction Boyz - Shut Up & Groove (Broken Mix)

Food

I don’t think veganism exists here. I arrived in Johannesburg off the back of a ‘Meat Free March’ (March the month, I didn’t go on a protest). I ate loads of avocados, quinoa, cous cous, baked beans and satsumas. For the most part I felt good. Physically, mentally, ethically, broccoli.

In Joburg, the Butchers’ is crowded like the New York Stock Exchange. Herds of people, ironically shuffling in cattle formation as they barter over a pig’s foot or a mutton’s arse. There seems to be a preference for cheap cuts. In particular there is a popular market for cow heads. Almost daily I’ll see a filth ridden truck pull up curb-side to roughly unload a dozen heads into the butchers. Blood and flies everywhere.

I still don’t get how a chicken’s foot can be tasty. It can’t be dissimilar to tucking into a coat hanger covered in foreskin (see Primark sale rail for confirmation).

Cheap meat aside, I’ve eaten very well in South Africa. From pizzas to pap there’s always been enough to satisfy the hunger. Pap, by the way, is a white maize meal. It’s everywhere - Like a Maze of Maize. It gets served with Chakalaka, which is a spicy chutney.

One maize-based food item I have been less fortunate to try is ‘Zizu.’ These juvenile snacks are bizarrely branded with sketches of Zinidine Zidane. They are in essence stale cheese footballs. Bad enough to make you want to head butt an Italian centre half in the chest.

Culture

In the Johannesburg CBD, Zulu culture dominates. Afrikaans citizens primarily live in the surrounding districts, such as Sandton, Rosebank and Parkhurst. Zulu culture is one I continue to learn from every day. Some important greetings include: Sharp Sharp (all good), Unjani (How are you?) and Sanbonani (How are you again). Also, No inkinga (no problem).

Indigenous games form an important part of Zulu culture. Every week we visit playrooms where the children ‘let off steam’ by jumping into ball pools and hanging from my neck. In between these activities, their facilitator encourages them to indulge in various traditional games, such as ‘Diketo’, 'Three Tins’ and 'Elastic.’ As the kids here are generally 2-10 years old, they enjoy any activity presented to them with enthusiasm (I kept 6 children entertained with paper snowflakes for 30mins). It’s therefore positive to see a focus remains on upholding the traditions of Zulu culture through structured play.

I can’t mention the culture and stay silent on the taxis. Believe me, they want to be heard. “They think they own the streets” I’m repeatedly told. You hail one of the Toyota minivans with a simple index finger up (uptown) or down (downtown). Basic stuff. Get on board and the complexities of payment begins to emerge. Nobody seems to communicate where they want to go. There appears to be a fixed price for any ride (5 Rand a go) which is then paid to whoever happens to be sitting in the front passenger seat (who then has to sort out the change) - Additional voluntary work I am happy to avoid! Once you want to get out, shout at the driver and he will stop. Not in a lay-by. Just in the middle of the congested road. I personally prefer Uber.

Week 6

We celebrated the FA Cup Final win at Elevate rooftop bar. The views across the city were incredible.  The following day we fought our hangovers and went to a wine tasting event in Craighall - a more affluent suburb . A real change of atmosphere. Each wine was paired with the most delicious haute cuisine. We then stopped at Parkhurst for drinks at the Jolly Roger. Like a good old fashioned British pub, it had good beer on tap and a jukebox full of nostalgia. Unfortunately one of the punters insisted on spending 25 Rand on an hour’s worth of Abba and Neil Diamond.

This week we also began the preparations for our very own tournament. Instead of a standard tournament, we were inspired to create a competition that can be played in an urban environment. Grass pitches and open space is hard to come by in the city, so we have come up with 'The Arsenal Street Striker 2017’ - a competition that will test individuals in 5 unique challenges. Think car tyres, ladders and wheelie bins. July 7th can't come soon enough!

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🇿🇦 Hillbrow

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Juxtapose

Juxtaposition ~ The fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect.

Johannesburg is a developing city in the midst of a rebirth. White owned businesses fled the area in the 1990s. Since then, Joburg has steadily rebuilt, with residents settling from many cultural backgrounds. Mozambique, Zimbabwe, India and Pakistan are all strongly represented. As a result, there is a real sense of eclecticism in the inner city. Johannesburg is a melting pot with a Karma Sutra of juxtapositions. Rich live among poor; colourful street art borders a rough sleeper’s contaminated cotch spot. Juxtapositions can be found at every corner:

African timing vs Rush of city

I’m approaching one month in Johannesburg, so I may as well embrace “African timing.” I’ll be honest, waiting 45 minutes at a meeting point can be mildly irritating (immensely irritating when it means you’ll miss an Arsenal game). However, I’m starting to wonder whether it’s me that’s got it wrong. The UK is a very time pressured society. Lateness is punishable with a formal warning. Missing a train is considered enough to ruin an entire day. In SA it’s very different. Arrangements are loose and subject to sudden change without warning. Restauranteurs will casually set up their tables and chairs 2 hours after opening. Time suddenly seems more plentiful. Despite this laissez-faire attitude towards clocks, there remains an oddly coexisting ‘rush hour’ mentality. Between 4-6pm the roads hit gridlock. It is not uncommon to see a taxi brush past a pedestrian or mount a grass verge to overcome halted traffic.

Hospitality vs Crime

In my first few weeks in Johannesburg, a colleague passed onto me some precious wisdom: “people here will love you, but don’t forget we are hungry.” The honesty of his forewarning resonated with me instantly, but its validity took longer to assimilate. People do genuinely care. I sense the warmth as we converse. But the city remains a dangerous metropolis where concentration is crucial to ensure safety.

If you require a clearer example of a juxtaposition, look no further. The only instances of crime we have experienced so far have been in the two most unlikely of circumstances. Stolen football shirts at a kids football tournament and a stolen phone (not mine) at a Justin Bieber concert. Never trust a Belieber, I say.

Strength vs Insecurity

Strength and power are central to South African culture. From Nelson Mandela to the national rugby team, the nation is renowned for strong patriarchal figures. It was therefore a surprise to learn of a bizarre tradition that must be, at least in part, explained by male insecurity. Supposedly, there is a popular tree grown in South Africa that the local men proudly serenade. Their song is motivated by the belief that it enables the tree to grow and, in turn, aids penis growth. My understanding of the correlation between the horticultural karaoke and phallic extension is limited; my admiration for the innocence of the organic process as an alternative to the heavily marketed enlargement pills is absolute. Forget the ‘Long Walk to Freedom’ we want long willies!

Extra Reports

Amongst the juxtapositioning madness of this week, we also visited another JHC housing community - Phumalani. We began in the playroom, where the children calmly engaged in board games and arts and crafts. Today’s activity involved turning toilet roll tubes into flowers. I decided to join in with a board game known as ‘All About Football.’ Produced in 2006, the game focuses on the history of the English Premier League. After a few rounds of trivia, I began to question how many times some of the children had already played the game. Perhaps I’m being cynical, but I found it difficult to believe a 10 year old from downtown Johannesburg could accurately recall Peter Beardsley’s debut for Newcastle in 1983.

This week, we also visited some local bars. Without context, my description of South African beer would leave you thinking I’d spent the weekend in Amsterdam’s Red Light District: “Very cheap with a lot of head.” However, at 25-40 Rand a pint (that’s £1.50-£2.50), I’ll take the three dimensional froth that reaches out of the glass like a charmed snake!

Football Sessions:

Monday - Phumalani - After the board games, we went outside to do a short session with the children. The space was very limited, so we worked on some football fitness with relay style sprints. We then added a football to get them dribbling. They worked in teams so had a lot of fun cheering on their friends.

Tuesday - Cruyff Court - Cancelled this week due to an event held on the pitch.

Wednesday/Thursday - Child Welfare - On day one we worked with school children playing matches. We joined in and got sunburnt. On the second day we delivered a session for the U13s. We worked on retaining possession using: Rondos, ‘Through the Thirds’ and a fun possession game that incorporated accuracy by knocking down cones. We then played a mini tournament.

Friday - Uno Court - Due to the very limited pitch size, we played some small sided football games. We then tried out high jump, skipping and limbo and tested the latest Snapchat filters. Coach Will even showed off some of his magic tricks! Amidst the hyperactive chaos, one particular child glared quizzically at my iris. He informed me that I had blue eyes and must therefore be a cat

Meow.

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The Legend of Bra Pat

Bra Pat

Before detailing my latest week in Johannesburg, I’d like to introduce you to Bra Pat. He works for JHC (the organisation mentioned in my previous post) and acts as our mentor and guide during our stay in Johannesburg. Upon meeting him for the first time, he was careful to explain that it was ‘Bra - like brother, not like bra that holds a woman’s breasts.’ An important clarification. The ‘Pat’ part is short for Patrick, but pronounced with the ‘e’ vowel sound (a nuance of the SA accent).

Bra Pat has been a great help to us along the way. He provides knowledge of the local area and insight into the workings of JHC. 'I can be anything to you’ he told us. 'A brother, friend, father, uncle.’

Soon, I’ll present you with some of Bra Pat’s best bits, but first I’ll let you know more about our recent visits.

Cruyff Court

As a new addition to our programme we attended Cruyff Court, a football centre launched by the Cruyff Foundation (yes Johan) in the desolate area of Hillbrow. To give you some idea of the state Hillbrow is currently in, I’ll give you some blurb. Having once been a cosmopolitan area, it is now riddled with hijacked buildings and rough sleepers. On our way through the area, we saw a man soaking pieces of cardboard in a puddle. After enquiry with our taxi driver, we were informed that he was adding weight to the cardboard in order to increase its scrap value. It usually fetches 2Rand per Kilo (so about 12p). The same street corner also had women selling their bodies.

Cruyff Court is therefore a vital hub within the community. The space (which is soon to be renovated) offers children and young people a positive environment to be creative and have fun. The court is managed by Coach Bull (a well suited nickname), who is a former professional footballer. He is well organised and runs a tight ship, without being aggressive. In addition to coaching football techniques and practices, he mentors young men to be coaches, giving them the platform to grow, learn and educate each other. Everything in Cruyff Court operates in line with the '14 Rules of Johan Cruyff’ (image above). The children seem to know these off by heart, as when tested by Bull on 'what is rule 3?’ they responded in chorus with 'Respect.’ It is amazing to see that the impact of Cruyff’s legacy still lives on in a district that needs it most.

Bra Pat’s Best Bits

Now, whilst I’m on the subject of Cruyff Court, I will return to Bra Pat and some of his best bits:

• Sat with Coach Bull in the Cruyff Court office, we discussed our programme and plans for the coming months. He gave some motivational words and as he did so, Bra Pat tried to finish off one of his sentences. With the tone of the meeting highly positive, I assumed this particular sentence would continue in the same vain: 'If you don’t influence as a coach…’ Bull began. 'You are nothing’ Bra Pat intervened. I’m not sure that’s the direction Coach Bull was going but I admired the forcefulness of Bra Pat’s direct address.

• On another occasion we visited a restaurant with Bra Pat. He ordered the BBQ beef burger, but was encouraged by the waitress to up his order to 'Big Beef.’ “Why must I order Big Beef? I am big enough already sissy” he declared, whilst gesturing towards his stomach

• If Bra Pat hadn’t provided me with enough good humour already, his take on gastro-pub grub presentation pushed me over the edge. “This is how you serve burgers? On a plank? With a Zulu spear through it? Why are my chips in a bucket?” Let's hope he never meets Heston Blumenthal.

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Coaching in Hong Kong

Our coaching schedule here has ranged from relaxed to busy over the span of our stay.

The soccer school run sessions on Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings as well as a double session on Saturday afternoons. These are the sessions where we have consistently coached throughout our time in HK. In addition to that we also coached in primary schools on Monday afternoons and Saturday mornings as well as coaching at special events in shopping centres, community centres and other random places.

Currently we're fairly busy as we running a summer soccer camp for primary school children alongside our regular sessions. We were also helping out a new Arsenal Soccer School franchise that has started in Macau. Suffice to say we are getting to be better, stronger and more experienced coaches.

The players at the sessions range in age from 2/3 up to 12, however usually we don't work with the youngest kids unless it's a special publicity event such as the ones we ran at Tsuen Wan CityWalk Shopping Centre. As the majority of the players we coach are young, we focus on fun games to keep them engaged and motivated rather than strictly technical drills. Hopefully, the games do encourage the skills needed for football, even if the kids might not realise it.

The attitude of the players here is generally very good. Most are respectful, eager to learn and have fun and listen when asked. Of course, as in any place, you'll get the odd player being cheeky or not following instructions on purpose but that's the job. Also, the nature of the sessions means that on occasion we will get a child who isn't really that interested in football and is only there because their parents thought it would be good for them. Depending on the child this can be a big or small problem, but it's a fun one to try and solve and the satisfaction from making them smile or getting them involved and engaged even though they're using a ball they might hate is fantastic. This is where the fun games I wrote about earlier comes in. From a coach's point of view the games are working on their fundamental movements and basic skills but for the kids it's just a chance to make friends, socialise, be competitive and spend some of their endless energy.

The language barrier here is not too much of an issue. At first we coached with assistant coaches who worked as translators but that stopped pretty early on and it's not been a problem. English is the second language here and most of the children speak at least a little bit, certainly much more than the amount of Cantonese I speak anyway. There are certain sessions, such as when we coach in La Salle primary school, where we can communicate pretty much as we would back in London. The level of spoken English is that high, it's truly impressive. However even if a few of the players don't speak any English it's usual that at least one will and so can act as a point of translation, although obviously demonstrations and any visual aids are key too.

Coaching in Hong Kong is often very hot and very tiring but it's also very rewarding and we've had numerous players and parents offering words of gratitude. Two weeks left now and hopefully the highs continue.