#arsulahn lavellan

[ar-ghilas-vir-banal]

The way Solas greets the two most important women in his life is something else I’ve not seen people speak about too much.

Lavellan, he breathes the name for her that his heart knows best. Because she is his heart. He reveres her beyond mere religion. Beyond everything. And he can’t look at her but he must because it’s her, it’s truly her. The tension between them, wanting to go to her…

And then there’s Mythal.

He doesn’t breathe her name in reverence. It’s in dread that he almost groans her name. It’s not a pleasing thing. It’s fear. He cowers before her, literally bowing over the knife and trying to give it to her for a second. That’s not how you greet someone who’s been kind to you. He’s cringing before her like a beaten dog. He loves her but he expects pain. He expects to be hurt. He expects her to do it. Because it’s happened before.

[ar-ghilas-vir-banal]

Wolf howls guided Lavellan through a blizzard to the survivors of Haven. Just. A little coincidence. UNLESS.

[ar-ghilas-vir-banal]

I’m just a feral mess over here at work and if I don’t do something about it, I’m going to combust. So bear with me.

Just the entire kiss. The entire freaking kiss.

I saw someone else’s take that this is NOT the moment for kisses. Absolutely correct. Solas is in shock. Look at him. Bleeding, exhausted, even the way he moves. There are injuries under his clothes that make yiu wonder how wise bonding the Veil to his life force is. Man’s got blight crap, blood, probably a little vomit in his mouth. He probably stinks of sweat and rot. He looks like Lavellan could push him over with a gentle shove.

It’s not, however, about having a hot and steamy make out sesh right now. It’s about assurance and a promise. Lavellan’s promise. And very much so, this isn’t Solas kissing her. It’s her kissing him.

But before even that.

“You don’t have to go alone.”

The way he responds. He wants her to go too so badly. Please. Please don’t let me be alone in that place. But… “where I’m going is terrible.” Saying it, we can see tears flood his eyes but they don’t fall. He doesn’t allow himself to crumble again, not before her. He stopped her once. He won’t again. But absolutely there is a warning. This will be no lovely dream for them. This existence will be hard. And that’s… if she doesn’t change her mind. If she doesn’t finally shriek “YOU’RE A MONSTER GET AWAY” and sent him to his own personal to rot alone for eternity.

Lavellan just gazes at him serenely. Kindly. Lovingly. She achieved what she had so fiercely hoped to achieve. He’s Solas again. Her Solas. The kiss isn’t “I want to yank you through there and do stuff”, it’s “you are the one who I love and I don’t care where it is that I love you. It’s home if you’re there.”

And he doesn’t so much kiss her back and allow himself to be kissed. He tries a little. But then he just. Lets it happen. It’s like he’s leaning down to brush his lips to those of an angel. And the smile he gives her. It’s pained. Weary. But in her there is the sunrise. It’s going to be okay.

Somehow.

He has Hope again. The bright spirit of Hope refuses to abandon him. And he will not abandon her this time. Never again.

[ar-ghilas-vir-banal]

Something something Solas thinks Lavellan is beautiful. Sure. Man’s hands wander all over that lady. But when he tells her she is beautiful in Crestwood and when he is gazing at her as if she is the most brilliant sunrise after millennia upon millennia of only night… he’s in love with her spirit first. I feel like he sees both her spirit and her body at the same time. And he’s simply astounded.

The way he asks her if the Mark has changed her… *looks down and away* “spirit” on the balcony is something else. I think she is just blazing before him all the time. And he assumes it’s the Mark’s doing. But if you answer “the Dalish didn’t make me this way. I make my own choices (to that effect)”, he seems almost excited. Like… it just thrills him a little.

She’s not like this because of some weird magic or anything. She just is. She’s beautiful. And he’s absolutely smitten.

[ar-ghilas-vir-banal]

I wonder if Solas was ever injured in his days with the Inquisition.

Presses a hand to his side and feels it warm and wet. It could be from a sword, a claw, anything. But Solas doesn’t really react. Heals himself a bit but his depleted strength doesn’t erase it as neatly as he’d have liked. It’s old habit and he just. Doesn’t think about it.

Limps his way back to camp with the others and sits down against a tree. Exhausted. Feels that warmth spreading down his leg again and realizes the magic didn’t hold. Curses under his breath.

He tries to be discrete about it but getting those spindly legs to cooperate like this proves extremely aggravating and nearly impossible.

“Vhenan?”

He looks up into a worried, pale face. Watches tears spring into her eyes. And as the wave of affectionate fussing descends over him, perhaps Solas just sits back and relaxes a moment. Lets trembling hands caress his face. Lets soft kisses press to his brow. When she’s through healing him either with her own magic or has temporarily bandaged him up for healers to tend to later, Solas drops his head to her shoulder and allows himself rest unlike anything else he’s ever experienced.

To be held so protectively. To not only hear how much she loves him but to feel it.

“I’m alright, Vhenan… I thank you.”

“Do you promise? Why stay silent?”

“I thought I could… ah. My… overconfidence.”

“… Do you want me to leave you now?”

“… Could we stay like this longer?… please?”

“Well. Since you asked so politely, sweet-talker.”

[ar-ghilas-vir-banal]

Solas: Hi 👁️👁️

Varric, already shipping these two: “He means “I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.””

Solas: Ask me anything. PLEASE.

Lavellan: Commendable of you to be here and help.

Solas: *slouches and smiles and clasps his hands in front of him like he doesn’t know what to do with them*

[ar-ghilas-vir-banal]

I’m still processing Solas’ personal companion quest from last night. I’m so struck by how desperately he pleads with the Inquisitor. Which he does regardless of how you play your Inky alongside him.

Arsulahn (my Inky) is already very in her feelings about him. She cares very deeply for him. He makes her feel not alone and safer than she would were he not there.

But he’s pleading with her. And I don’t think it’s entirely because of momentary desperation. I think he’s expecting refusal. He’s expecting to have crossed the line of “no. Not for you. You’re not important enough to me for me to risk fighting this demon.”

But she immediately “YES I WANT TO HELP, COME ON”. And while he can’t react to that in moment fully, I think later, sitting where his friend used to be, Solas can’t help but remember her gently touching his shoulder and offering what little comfort she could. In a voice thick with sadness, no less.

Not only did she risk her life for him, she risked her reputation by allowing him his vengeance, and then she offered herself as a friend. Whatever he needs, she keeps offering without him asking.

The little trickles of interest in her, regulated to her Mark and her impact, veer off then, I think. She isn’t just a pawn on a board anymore. She’s a person. And she’s so unfathomably good to him.

And that’s when the kiss they shared, a momentary little moment of “bad judgement” becomes something to dwell on.

[ar-ghilas-vir-banal]

Oh what a lovely little date. They’re going to have a lovely time.

Right?

See? Having a kiss. Grabbing her booty. Great time. All is well.

… uh oh.

NO MAN NOOOO

YYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU I KNEW IT WAS COMING AND I WANT TO SMACK YOUR FACE OFF AND ALSO SHAKE YOUR SPINE OUT AND JUST AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH JUST TAKE HER WITH YOU MAAAAAAN SHE DRANK THE WELL FOR YOUUUU