Discover Top Posts Tagged with #arthur lugauskas

'gloomy sky’

it’s days like this and times like this that can change a man’s course. that can help begin carving a new path. an invented one. one that was destined to happen. one that was supposed to happen years ago, but didn’t because it was actually supposed to happen now. because everything that happened up to this point matters. and is what led to this new carving.

how do you break through the clouds? the endless grey clouds. that cloud the vision. the block the light.

as i look at the clouds i see a blue round balloon floating higher and higher. it has a string attached in which gold letter-shaped balloons branch out. weird. the letters i saw were an “a” and an “i” i think. the other two were hard to tell, for the balloons were going fast and in no time went over my head to which when i looked up i saw the white ceiling in my apartment. maybe those balloons were a message for me. maybe they weren’t.

i now see glimpses of a string of light. it’s the sun setting, going below the gray infinite clouds. showing it’s face momentarily before disappearing into the oblivion behind the manahattan skyline.

these clouds are so strong and dense that even the power of the sun didn’t penetrate through them. why is that?

see, now listen. i feel like i’m trying to write something. but what am i writing? you know what, actually, it doesn’t even matter. the important thing is i’m writing. and improvising as i go. that’s the beauty of freedom.

i’ve failed greatly for the past couple years in some ways i think. i’ve said that again and again. i feel like saying that or writing that is almost invisible. because that statement or idea i’ve had about myself is so worn out. though it’s true, it’s time for me to shut the blup up already. and just start doing. going. it’s about where i’m at now and what i’m doing and what i’m going to do. and then doing whatever i want to do. and since when does success come before failure. perhaps the bigger the failure the bigger the success possibilities. that’s a nice way to put it for my mind. i guess great great success and amazingness is to come. nice!

the sun in now gone. day is dark. windy. chilly. as i sit in my brooklyn apartment in front of me is a view of downtown manhattan. how did this happen? i’m in an apartment with a view? how the blup did this happen? what the blup!?

but something things i see around me are not all that beautiful. or amazing. primarily my projects. and how did that happen? i now am behind in so many different projects? how the blup did this happen? what the blup!?

to myself, it’s time.

#gloomy #sky #short story #arthur lugauskas #whereisarthur #nyc #brooklyn #manhattan #view #life #beautiful #failure #success

Poem in Ice by Arthur Lugauskas

#Arthur Lugauskas #art #contemporary art

Where is Arthur? - PIOP Paintings

Arthur Lugauskas, originally from Vilnius, Lithuania, but now living in the question “where is arthur?” is back on AIA for a moment to not only inspire more artists, but to maybe even inspire the world.

In 2012 I was in a drawing class at GMU and we were learning about perspectives for a portion of the class. I’d studied architecture previously and had take a whole perspectives course during…

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#Arthur Lugauskas #Painting Inspiration #piop paintings

‘foundation is setting’

i’m told to eat before i come. the conversation was short. simple. a confirmation and a tip. that’s it.

the day comes. it’s december 31st. my appointment time is set for 2pm. and i’m leaving at 2pm. this is embarrassing. i’m late. again. all year, late to everything. even the last day of the year. “how am i late!?”

let’s start with december 30th. just to prepare an excuse for my lateness before i cook it up, you know? i’m in my room. there is a 3’ by 4’ canvas in front of my. i stare at it. it stares back at me asking, “what are you going to do to me next?” but i’m asking the same question. it’s like it and i are one, but we don’t even know. as we gaze at one another, lost in thought, we begin to not even know what to think as time passes around us. yes, passes around us. because we are frozen for the time being.

hours pass by. and during them several dances happen between us. usually in harmony, but with occasional missteps. the window blinds are open. we are under the spotlight above. anyone who looks can see us. but, we don’t see anyone who looks. it’s dark outside. and the weather is calm. but cold too. the clock now tells me that apparently it’s 4am. “really!?”

i decide to put our dancing on pause for the time being. i don’t know for how long. because i’m to get surgery done later today. and i don’t know how i will be afterwards.

to bed i go. i try to sleep. but, it’s not happening. as i toss and turn and close my eyes and try not to think nothing works. i’m awake still and it’s 5am. then hours later the sun begins to rise at the clock begins to approach the 7am mark. i still haven’t slept. “why!?”

at some point i get to my dreams. i finally make it there. but, my alarms rings sooner than i’d like for it to. i wake up just to snooze it. again and again. i’m aware somewhere and somehow that i was told to eat before i leave, but sleep sounds better at this moment.

after enough snoozing and getting to a point of the last minute at which i should wake up if i want to eat and not be late i get up and out of bed. i’m in a rush now. “it’s 1:32pm!”

i wash my tired face. then put some warm clothes on and rush to make food. i fry up some hashbrowns. then i eat. then i brush my teeth. then i make it to my car and see that it’s 2pm. and i’m leaving to my 2pm appointment that is 11 minutes away. “not cool!”

i call the office just to give them an update that i’m running a little late. then i’m asked how late. i didn’t plan on having a specific late time be asked. but, i quickly say around 5 to 7 minutes. then sure enough, i’m late to even my late expected time arrival, or should i say to my l.e.t.a.?

i rush in the door of the building and am ready to take the elevator to the 2nd floor as i usually have done. there is one lady already waiting for it. but, it’s taking long. like, too long. so, wait, now note, i don’t mind taking the stairs, but i don’t know where they are. then i decide to just walk down a hallway in search for the stairs. i pace quickly and make it around the back entrance where a grounp of 5 people walk in. but, i didn’t find any stares. it’s like i’m late to my late time that i was late for. next thing i know i’m back to the elevator deciding to wait for the remaining short time before the elevator comes. 23 seconds later it arrives. and hey, in a situation like this, seconds are really valuable, okay?

up to the 2nd floor i go. i then bolt to the door of the dental office and see the receptionist. as i walk in i’m greeted and have no wait time because i’m late and should already have been about to undergo surgery. to a room in the far back i go, deep.

in my hands i’m carrying a gift bag with wine, a gift bag with some lithuanian sweets and a card, a folder with information about my expected year long procedure breakdown, and 2 books i wrote about someone who used to work here.

now i’m in the room, sitting. i put the things i brought with me on a nearby chair. then a lady walks in. she recognizes me. then she glances at what i brought and sees a name she knows. and her hand reaches toward that dirrection as if she’s alone in the room. then she grabs 1 of the books i brought and smiles at me while apologizing for being curious and simultaneously questioning what i brought. i smile back and give her a look that it’s okay what she did while letting her know it was a book i wrote. and then she decided to show the other ladies in the office, who also know me and vice versa.

next thing i know another lady walks in and has a little conversation with me. she’s curious about what i had done and is happy about it. she was calm and tender. polite and nice. then my dentist walks in.

all of a sudden i’m getting numbed in the area where surgery is to take place. he tells me this will take about 10 minutes. i ask him if we could talk a bit about what is to happen. and he decides to talk now instead of later.

i first give him the two bags i brought, which aren’t from me, but also a book, which is from me. he thanks me. then i whip open the expected year long procedure breakdown. as he reviews it he tells me, well, the information he tells me is currently classified. just know we spoke. but, even that might be too revealing.

he soon leaves the room momentarily. and the lady who took the book returns and has been showing it all around the office. she is almost in disbelief that i did this. but, she is very happy about it. and i’m happy too.

numbness kicks in. but, i don’t feel it. my dentist returns. then before i even know it, my seat is reclined, light is shining on my open mouth, i have a mini apron on, and my dentist and his assistant are observing my teeth. then i remember seeing each of them having gloves on and my dentist putting a knife tool of sort in my mouth doing what i feel like to be deep cuts in my gums around my teeths 2 and 3. “great, it started.”

then poof, they are both gone. i’m alone in the room. and i’m sad i didn’t get to feel my teeth with my tongue one last time while i still had them. i hesitate to move my tongue around my teeths 2 and 3 because i’m afraid nothing will be there. but, i move my tongue there anyway. and my teeth are still there! “i do get to spend some more moments acknowledging my teeth!”

then boom, they are both back. three of us in the room again. and i guess now it’s time. yea, i think surgery time. i’m a bit worried. but, actually somehow not really. i don’t know why. i’m just sitting there thinking about dancing with my canvas. the routine must be finished today. yes, today!

i tell my dentist that this is not fun. he tells me i won’t feel a thing and that it will be fun for him. and that calms my already calm self. it reassures me how good of a dentist he is. because that means he enjoys this.

next thing i know my mouth is open and my eyes are closed. my dentist and his assistant start performing this surgery. i feel as if my gums are being slitted open. well, i don’t really feel in the sense of feeling pain, but instead hearing the quietness of a knife going deep into skin. the moment is probably eerie. but, my eyes are closed and i’m just trying to think of different things.

occasionally when the hands back away from my mouth i’ll open my eyes for whatever reason to glance at whatever i’ll be able to see. and when i do i notice my dentist wearing microscope type glasses and him and his assistant wearing mouth protection. and when their hands approach my mouth again i close my eyes again.

after all the slitting it comes time for something else. this time a kind of drill tool. and when it’s on it’s loud. and i don’t know what’s going to happen. i simply close my eyes. and i imagine if there was an option to see what was going on in a mirror like fashion. and if anyone would choose to see their own surgery. and if i one day could be in a room watching someone i know get a similar type of surgery. and how i would act. i mean, at this point i imagine my gums just cut open, maybe even gone, and there maybe being blood, and my teeth wobbling. but, i don’t know.

then all this fluid of sort starts splashing out of my mouth. like a sprinkler. “what is this drill tool doing!?”

towards the last part of this surgery my dentist goes back to a more basic tool. like maybe a fork of some kind. and he puts that deeper that the already very deep cut of my gums. and i start to feel pain. this is the first time uncomfort of this sort is felt. he told me earlier to just raise my hand if uncomfort is felt. and while i try to be a good patient with not being a wimp to some discomfort, well, this one begins to be a tough one to handle. i hesitate to put my hand up. so, he continues. as the pain becomes much more than i’d like for it to i signal in a sound like way that it hurts. he receives my message well and decides to further numb that area.

after about 5 minutes, the numbness kicked in. and surgery was back on. things start getting intense. my dentists main tools know is this fork thing and his thoughts and his physical strength. as he wiggles and pulls my teeths 2 and 3 out his assistant helps with pulling my right cheek open. but, she is doing it a bit wrong.

a small misunderstanding happens between my dentist and his assistant while the surgery is taking place. and i’m in the middle of it. like, literally in the middle of it. but, they don’t lose focus and adjust and adapt to what’s happening. his assistant pulls my cheek a bit further than i’d life for it to of been pulled as my dentist tries to figure out how to get this last piece out that is giving him more troubles than it should.

#short story #arthur lugauskas