#artishealing

[shymagda-7]

It's been a while since I've drawn anything, I need more practice.

[0bluebearies0]

My little Cupid

[donelektro]

the-proper-side-complex: good night all sides😴, how dare you?, cuz sleep helps healing...

[a-shared-experience]

I just wanna make art , make out, eat fancy pizza and stop being at war with myself

- starving artist 👩‍🎨

[a-shared-experience]

Keeping an art journal when you have crippling adhd is boss. You can take it with you anywhere to zone out/in … whatever the fuck is happening to my brain. It’s playful when I’m bored, inspiration on the go, rewarding to track progress and vital to jot down random fleeting ideas . Mostly it’s just fun and regulates intense emotions that I haven’t found a better way to express yet.

I live in scribbles

[a-shared-experience]

You don’t have to be great- just have to be motivated by greatness. Failure is still an attempt and progress

[a-shared-experience]

[a-shared-experience]

Blank page

Creators have a strong need to have a purpose in life. They are aware of their skills and talents and driven by the possibilities of being able to help someone through their brilliance. Whether it’s art, music, medicine, touch , we want to execute ideas that will move the masses and reach the hearts of our peers. We lowkey want the importance , but mostly the freedom to exist authentically without struggle. I don’t want the fame, just the ability to be completely self reliant and also inspired and energetic. I very much want to make sense of my life and channel that piece of me that’s been lost so that someone else can find it.

I personally have too many ideas, too many passions and lack of direction. I feel in highs and lows , immense burning passion, dreadful self doubt , inferior over my skill set , driven to be good enough and somewhere in between is the sweet spot where I unwind and create in a state of joy.

The sweet spot isn’t about being the best or even knowing really what you’re doing. It’s time that exists outside of logic and fear. That time slot is something I cherish more than anything. It’s my connection to myself, the emotions that I find difficult to process and the words I can’t speak.

Somedays I feel motorized , operating fully functional and completely in the high of creation while others I spend staring at blank pages. Today was one of those days where I felt everything in a dark way and if I don’t catch it and crush it , it will swallow me whole , like a big scary depression monster. I wanted to scream in frustration over the blocks and delays that keep coming up in my life. I sat down to write and immediately got back up and went outside. Just a ball of internal rage and fear. Nothing is working out. Fists clenched, kick rocks.

Sometimes as creators- we have to accept those lulls. We have to find ways to exist within them and not lose ambition or faith in ourselves and the lives we want. In the highly traumatized and seriously sensitive this time can seem threatening. It’s space where our minds try to trick us into settling for the safer option. A place where security doesn’t exist yet and our voice hasn’t been heard. That is a space I’m trying to master , art flows out of us in its own unique way. It shows people who we truly are in a way that doesn’t ask for validation . The hardest skill set is commitment to the unknown, the lows, the nights spent staring at blank pages , the times we have so much to say and no way to express it… your craft will be loved and hated by everyone whether it’s your first piece or something you created after years of university… kinda like when a bands third album sucks ( it always sucks)

I could have spent an entire day wallowing in not being where I want to be , not being who I believe I have potential to be, instead I hopped in the car , turned the music up loud and drove to nowhere. In that space I relaxed and reflected on how far I’ve come in such a short amount of time… yes my life is gone bust but only so I can have a blank page to recreate it. My old life was secret addictions, secret lovers, secret feelings, day in, day out in a cubicle desperately trying to make ends meet …. Let it burn.

I want to be so fucking comfortable being me that I don’t need addictions, that I can show up in love and commitment in ways I’ve never known how, committed to fully expressing my highs and lows and not putting on a front because I’m scared or to appease others.

No… I haven’t figured out my brilliance or what direction to take my projects but I have 187 days of sobriety, I have refused to take the easy way out and I haven’t given up . I’m teaching myself discipline by drawing each day and am more aware when I start becoming spiritually undone / ungrounded. Since childhood I’ve always felt the heaviness of responsibility which can quickly turn to victim mode because it really is just me doing me out here - pulling this card for y’all was recognition of the need to be outside of the self so that I can climb back into the self feeling like I’m part of this world and not just being crushed by it. If you’re looking at a blank page - go look at something else bebe and don’t feel guilty for doing so