#artur'spersonalstuff

[reverseandremember]

[reverseandremember]

I know I may complain a lot about things and I might not be pushing myself forward like I should, but why should I? What is that going to get me? I don’t have any ambitions, nothing to look forward to. I am just going to remain alone my entire life and well, I guess that is just the way it’ll have to be. I really don’t see a sense of comparing myself to others anymore. Everyone is different, and some people were given gifts and some people know what their calling is and what they enjoy in this world and they can pursue it. I don’t have anything like that and maybe I was just destined for nothing. People always say that “everyone is brought here for a reason.” I don’t think that is necessarily true. If it were, I would reasonably care about things and the people who care about me. I don’t have any feelings towards people besides “oh, they are cool.” and “oh, I hate their guts.” I will never understand my families love and thoughts about me having a bright future. I wish I could give them the love back and I will just let them down like I always do :/.. because I have been this way my whole life and I cannot change. I always fall back into these destructive patterns of self-hatred because well... what is there to like? I really don’t know. I am rude, I am selfish, I am dishonest, disorganized, unintelligent and have no future in this world. I will just be crawling in my student debt the whole time while working meaningless jobs for 80 hours a week. And yes, this is an extremely random rant that is all over the place. That’s just the way I am, all over the place. The best part is that it’s super selfish of me to continually post stuff like this... because that’s all I care about, is the way I feel. I wish I could turn this switch off and care about others for a change. /end  

[reverseandremember]

This song is gassss. 

[reverseandremember]

[reverseandremember]

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside Broken inside I'm broken inside, broken inside And all I go through leads me to you Leads me to you

[reverseandremember]

I can't believe you've got the nerve to say you love me Then you left me for dead I don't love you anymore I hope you're happy since I don't know you anymore You were a part of me And now you're just nothing but a memory No matter how bad I want you in my bed I know that you found somebody else to be there for you I'll keep sleeping sideways in my empty bed To fill up the lonely space I'm just a kid with too much lonely space Now I'm just like the pictures that you take I'm nothing but something that once was Like colors that fade away in the sunlight They're nothing special like they used to be They're gone and they're never coming back No, they're never coming back I'm gone and I'm never coming back No matter how bad I want you in my bed I know that you found somebody else to be there for you I'll keep sleeping sideways in my empty bed To fill up the lonely space I'm just a kid with too much lonely space I woke up today and realized that what we had is dead I'm just a pile of lifeless bones to you I've spent too many years thinking about somebody That doesn't even think about me Thinking about somebody that doesn't even think about me Thinking about somebody That doesn't even think about... No matter how bad I want you in my bed I know that you found somebody else to be there for you I'll keep sleeping sideways in my empty bed To fill up the lonely space I'm just a kid with too much lonely space

[reverseandremember]

Desperation, devastation All I truly know (all that I know...) Is isolation Self Damnation All life that I'd own WAS SHED AND WORTHLESS NOW! I can hate myself more... more than anyone WILL YOU JOIN ME!?

[reverseandremember]

“ I crawl across this cracked expansion, I'll be buried soon. Beneath the sand with pure intentions. Wanting something, someone to follow. “