#asecretvoice

[asecretvoice]

My darling, please don’t mistake my softness as a weakness. For one would think that after many years, a person would be stronger. But who is to say that being soft and sensitive is not a strength? I should not be ashamed for being so close with my emotions, for everything that has brought me so much joy to all my tears of pain. I am soft in the way I trust people and believe they all have good intentions, I am soft in the ways I believe the lies of poisoned tongues, I am soft in the way tears come so easily to my eyes in the slightest of emotion. They say I should be stronger, with walls hardened around my heart. But my darling it takes true strength, to withstand all that pain and heartache and still be soft to world around you.

-I refuse to let my past turn me into stone.

[asecretvoice]

Are you happy now, knowing how much you broke me? Using me only when you wanted to, throwing me to the side when you found something new and shiny. How dare you ask me to be your friend, as if I would be okay watching you find your happiness in someone else from the sidelines. Was I nothing but a backup plan when she didn’t turn out like you hoped? Knowing I would always be there for you to use and use again, but never good enough to stay. Why treat me as something permanent when you only wanted me temporarily? Are you okay knowing how much you hurt me, does it leave you waking up gasping for breathe, a heavy dull emptiness in your heart knowing the person who you loved so much never loved you back? That it never existed in the first place.

-I really hope you are happy now

[asecretvoice]

I’d rather you be a stranger in my life, than have to live with the ghosts of what love did to me.

-at least I would be okay with a stranger lying to my face

[asecretvoice]

If you cannot love me at my worst, you my dear, do not love me at all.

You cannot pick and choose when to love someone, you either do or you don’t.

Love is more than just loving someone through their highs and lows.

It is the willingness and caring that despite of it, never faltering.

Together.

-It’s taken me a while to realize you never cared for me, and I have to be okay with that.

[asecretvoice]

How do you stop missing someone, who won’t miss you back?

[asecretvoice]

I’m so tired of crying over someone who couldn’t care about me the same way back.

Why does it hurt so much for me, when clearly you don’t feel the same?

When was it over, when you realized you could just walk away?

[asecretvoice]

You lost so much that day, you will never find a person who will give so much of themselves as much as I gave you.

I gave you every ounce and let you in as deep into my soul as I could bare. Because that’s all I know, when you love someone you give them everything you got.

Next time, I hope to find someone who will give just as much back to me.

-in my last letter to you

[asecretvoice]

I fell in love with the idea of you, what you could have been for me.

I should have realized what you actually were.

-things I want to say to you