ken!! it’s been a while, i’ve been the pitt-pilled recently but i always gotta come back to my roots :P
i was wondering if you would be able to write something with a reader on the asexuality spectrum who’s so afraid to come out to bucky because they don’t want to ruin their relationship, but bucky is almost hurt that they think that’s all bucky would want out of the relationship 🥹 idk if this is anything but thought i’d ask!
You’ve rehearsed it in your head a hundred times.
Not the big dramatic version where you sit Bucky down and say it like a confession. Not the tearful one either. Just… small. Soft. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
But every time you imagine his face falling, your chest caves in.
It’s late when it finally spills out of you. The two of you are tangled together on the couch, your legs draped over his lap, his metal hand tracing idle shapes along your calf. The TV plays some old black-and-white movie he likes, but neither of you are really watching.
He presses a kiss to your ankle. “You’re quiet tonight,” he murmurs. “Got that storm-in-your-head look.”
You swallow.
“I’ve been thinking,” you say, staring at the way his thumb moves back and forth over your skin. “About us.”
He stills.
“Okay,” he says carefully. “That a good thinking or a bad thinking?”
You almost laugh, because he’s always like this—so gentle when he senses you teetering on something sharp.
“I’m on the asexual spectrum,” you blurt.
There’s a split second where the room feels vacuum-sealed. Your heart pounds so loudly you’re sure he can hear it.
“I mean, I think I am,” you rush on. “I’ve been reading and researching and it just… fits. I don’t experience attraction the way other people do. Or maybe I do sometimes but it’s different, or it takes a lot, or it’s tied to emotional closeness and—”
You stop because your throat burns.
“I didn’t tell you,” you whisper, “because I was scared.”
His brows pull together. “Scared of what?”
“That you’d leave.” The words scrape out of you. “Or that you’d feel… cheated. Like I tricked you into something you didn’t sign up for. I know you’ve had a long life and you’ve missed out on so much and I just— I didn’t want to be another thing you had to sacrifice.”
Silence.
You finally look at him, bracing yourself for disappointment.
Instead, Bucky looks… wounded.
“Is that what you think I’m here for?” he asks quietly.
Your stomach drops. “No—”
“Because it kinda sounds like you think I’m only with you for sex.”
You sit up fully, legs sliding off his lap. “That’s not what I meant.”
“But that’s what you were afraid of,” he says, and there’s no anger in his voice. Just something fragile. “That if sex looked different—or happened less—or didn’t happen at all—I’d walk.”
You don’t know what to say, because when he puts it like that it sounds ugly.
“I know you have needs,” you say instead, voice small. “And I didn’t want to be… inadequate.”
Bucky exhales slowly, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Baby.”
He shifts closer, knees knocking against yours. His metal fingers hook under your chin and tilt your face toward his.
“I have you,” he says. “That’s what I want.”
You blink. “But—”
“Listen to me.” His voice deepens, not stern, but steady. “I didn’t claw my way through decades of hell and healing just to reduce love to one physical act.”
Your eyes sting.
He softens immediately when he sees it, thumb brushing beneath your lashes.
“You think I don’t love the way you laugh?” he murmurs. “The way you ramble when you’re excited about something? The way you hold my hand in the grocery store like you’re scared I’ll disappear if you let go?”
You let out a shaky breath.
“I love kissing you,” he continues. “I love cuddling with you. I love the way you look at me like I’m not something broken. If intimacy with you looks different than what I thought it might? Then we learn what it looks like together.”
You search his face for hesitation. You don’t find any.
“What if I never—” You hesitate. “What if I can’t give you what you thought you wanted?”
He smiles faintly, sad and affectionate all at once. “You don’t get to decide what I want for me.”
Your lips part.
“I want you,” he repeats. “However that comes. However that grows. However that changes. You don’t owe me a performance. You don’t owe me a body. You don’t owe me anything except honesty.”
A tear slips down before you can stop it. “I was so scared.”
He pulls you into him without another word, wrapping both arms around you, metal and flesh equally warm. His chin rests on top of your head.
“I’m almost insulted,” he mutters into your hair, but there’s a smile in it. “Like I fought Hydra and brainwashing and you think I’m gonna crumble because my partner experiences attraction differently?”
You huff out a watery laugh against his chest.
“Sex is one way to connect,” he says softly. “It’s not the only way. And it’s sure as hell not the foundation of this.”
You feel his heartbeat under your cheek, steady and solid.
“If anything,” he adds, voice turning teasing, “I’m honored you trusted me enough to tell me.”
You squeeze him tighter.
“I love you,” you whisper.
He presses a kiss to your crown. “I love you. All of you. Not just the parts you think I’m supposed to want.”
For the first time since the fear took root in you, you feel safe.
"Dude... This sucks.. You know you're leading him on, right?" Your heart sinks slightly at your friends words, turning to look at her in confusion. "What? I'm just stating the obvious."
"I'm not! Two people can live together for two years without it meaning anything." You snap back, snatching the half empty bag of popcorn out of her hand.
"You aren't just living with Kyle. You sleep in his bed sometimes if he asks you to, and you two have a dual night routine. Kyle has started telling people that he has plans with you when they ask to hang out. He made you a fucking advent calander of all your favorite books that year!" Your friend shakes her head slightly, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "He's in love with you, Y/N, and you should either tell him you aren't interested or ask him out already."
That conversation changed everything, and Kyle noticed right away. You didn't want to sit down with him for weekly movie night or tag along when he went shopping for the week. What really tipped him off was when you said no to his proposed sleepover.
"Baby, did I do anything?" Kyle's hands find your waist, his head coming to rest on your shoulders as you wash the dishes. The nickname, something you'd never thought about before, made your gut churn with guilt. "Come on, talk to me... Please?"
"Am I leading you on? Like, do you have feelings for me?" You turn around in his grip so you can really look at him. God, he was handsome. Kyle glances down at your hands, nudging your elbows a little so you cup his face in them. "Is that a yes?"
"It's a no."
"What about your feelings for me?"
"What about yours to me!?"
You groan in annoyance as you shove him off you and shut off the sink. "Okay, fuck you, this isn't going anywhere!"
"No, no, no, wait!" Kyle grabs your wrists and gives them a soft squeeze, pulling your hands to his face again. "Where is this coming from? Why are you asking me this now? Especially after we just renewed our lease." You take a deep breath, pulling him a little closer.
"My friend. I was talking about us and how we live together. She said it sounds like I'm leading you on." Kyle scoffs at the words, though he clams up a little when he sees how nervous you look.
"I don't have feelings for you." He says bluntly as he lowers his forehead to yours. "Well, I care about you, but not like that." He assures as he studies your face. "What about you?"
"I don't want to live with anyone else but you. I don't want to sleep next to anyone but you. But I don't want to date you. What is that?" You mutter with a small growing frustration. "Why do I feel this way?"
"You just do." Kyle shrugs as he kisses your cheek. "Now, can you please watch a movie with me tonight? I miss you." He insists with a soft smile.
"Okay... Okay, I will. But I'm talking to my therapist about us."
Woke up with this thot. Probably something only I'll be interested in, but figured I'd share it anyway.
Warnings: aphobia, medical aphobia, omegaverse
You're an ace omega with a history of horrifically bad heats. Try as you might, you haven't found a way to manage them that doesn't have you feeling miserable about yourself after.
It's gotten to a point now that your heats need medical supervision and you have to check into an omega clinic the day before each one.
You dread this for weeks before each time. You know you're going to be subjected to *kind* pressure to accept treatments you aren't comfortable with and just generally be treated with one size fits allo health-care.
One of the things being gently forced on you this time is an alpha heat assistant.
He comes in about an hour after you've checked in, as you're getting settled in the heat room you'll occupy for the next three or so days.
He isn't what you were expecting. He's gigantic, which, of course, he is. But there's something inherently soft about him, almost unassuming. He introduces himself as Curtis.
As you discuss your history and likes/dislikes/absolutely nots, he lets you lead the conversation. When you tell him you're ace he 1) doesn't need you to explain in to him and 2) is surprised and upset? maybe? for you?? that it wasn't in your paperwork
When you cautiously say you don't want anything inside you, waiting for his reaction, he just casually says "That’s fine," without any follow-up questions or rebuttals. It's the most shocking thing that's happened so far.
He leaves to gather the supplies you'll both need and returns when you're just starting to feel the heat symptoms crawling up your body.
He has you check his bag, making sure everything you'll need is there and nothing you don't want. You're a little shocked to find that the toys he brought are exactly as discussed - just an assortment of vibrators. Not even a couple dildos "just in case." It does a lot to calm you.
During the heat he mostly just holds you and lets you sent him. He rubs your back as you furiously masturbate, but never tries to participate. He gets you to drink water and feeds you snacks. He comforts you when you cry and helps you breathe through the pain.
He calls you "good omega" for simply doing what's right for you. And you can tell he means it.
You still wouldn't say it was a "good" heat, but it's easily the best one you've had. And you weren’t alone.
As you debrief together before you leave, he tells you he'd be happy to help you again. He even says he'll spend the time before your next heat looking into more methods that might help you that would still fit within your boundaries.
You can't remember the last time you felt so cared for.
I feel like I could easily write a full version of this but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who'd read it. 😅
YES they'll be asexual reader soonest once I give matt a title and im tryna brainstorm another one, oh do my au crossovers count .. coz those r coming :3
It took a few days before the team talked to you. It's not like they didn't want to. They gave you a day for some space, but when they went to your barrack, they realized you went on leave. Price checked with Laswell that you hadn't transferred out of the team, hands shaking with anxiety he didn't expect to feel.
"Is there a reason they would transfer out?" Laswell presses with a knowing tone. She holds Price's gaze, not giving him the privilege to avert his eyes.
"We fucked up Laswell." Price takes the seat across from her desk, feeling her track his every move.
"Understatement, John. Since when are you involved in your subordinates sex lives? Jokes, sure. Questions out of curiosity, maybe. Setting up a man to hit on them at the bar?" She scoffs in disbelief, rubbing her forehead in frustration. "You have reading to do while their gone."
Price wants to ask what she means, but she's already sliding him an article with certain sections highlighted. "Be ready to apologize when Y/N gets back."
You were glad only Kyle was standing on the tarmac when you pulled back onto base. "Hey, Y/N. Missed you." Kyle offers you a hug, which you half-heartedly accept. "I'm really fucking sorry, man." He apologizes as he pulls away. "I didn't ask you about your feelings directly. I just went along with the plan."
"Why does everyone care so fucking much? I'll never understand that." You grumble as you start walking back towards base. "I get it, it's not 'normal 'or whatever the fuck, but it shouldn't matter to anyone else but me!"
Kyle grabs your shoulder to stop you, giving it a squeeze so you will look at him. When you meet his eyes, you feel almost smugly satisfied to see the remorse in his eyes. "What matters is you, Y/N. You, as a person, all the parts of you, even the parts we don't understand as well. I'm sorry we didn't see that before we did what we did."
You're surprised to feel tears stinging the backs of your eyes, swallowing hard to clear the growing lump in your throat. When that doesn't work, you give him a smile and finally pull him into a full hug. Back in your barracks, John knocks gently before he steps inside.
"I'm glad you're back, Y/N. We all are." He starts as he sits on the bed, clearing his throat quietly. "I should've stopped the team when they tried to set you up. I should've respected you, without question, and without pressure. I don't care if you use the labels aromantic or asexual, I care about you." John lowers his head in shame as he explains himself, only looking up when you pat his shoulder.
"Thank you, sir. I love this team because you have never made me feel differently or less than, but if something like that happens again, I will transfer immediately." John pulls you into a half hug, squeezing your shoulder softly.
"I wouldn't expect anything less, kid. Thank you for giving us a second chance." John pulls back and gives you a small smile. "Thank you for coming back."
