Xia Fei and Identity: Lies vs Truth
A short analysis on Xia Fei’s struggles with identity, himself and the façade.
Clarifications
Let’s start with the name ‘Felix’
Now let’s talk about ‘Xià Fěi’
So, now how does Feifei struggle then?
Conclusion
1. Clarifications
He goes by two names: Xià Fěi and Felix.
Xia Fei is his Chinese name, and presumably also his legal name. He uses it when interacting with other Chinese people.
Felix is his English name. It is on his student ID card, and also his model name.
From now on, when referring to him as a character, and not just the names, I will use the nickname Feifei (because it’s cute).
2. Let’s start with the name ‘Felix’
So, ‘Felix’ is like a fake identity, a name he uses to fit in with English society, while he deliberately uses ‘Xia Fei’ with Shiguang.
One could argue that he was using ‘Xia Fei’ as a way of gaining Shiguang’s trust (remember how happy Cheng Xiaoshi was meeting Liu Xiao) and/or to avoid people recognising him, but I believe that to be only part of the reason, and that he also wanted to form a genuine connection with the two.
‘Felix’ is the name he is called at work, probably even called at university, and we know that he doesn’t even like his work and probably doesn’t like the university as a place (remember his discomfort with his roommate, and how his clothes’ colours back then didn’t fit him (read the replies)). So, ‘Felix’ is a name that represents discomfort. (It’s probably a very similar feeling to calling a transgender person by their deadname.)
But wait! During the Double Dinner Date Vein uses the name ‘Felix,’ even though he speaks perfectly fine Mandarin and is even pretty close to Feifei.
One reason for this could be their work relationship, that he was using ‘Felix’ to remind Feifei that this is work,
and/or is that he didn’t want to show Shiguang how close they are, both to protect himself and Feifei from any hostage situations (though this would be pretty stupid considering how before he immediately came to save Feifei).
Another could be that he just wanted to further keep up the act of not speaking (good) Mandarin, which would indeed be very in-character. I believe it to be a combination of all three of these, just with different levels of importance.
So, what we now know is that ‘Felix’ not only means discomfort, but also protection (in a messed up way) that serves as a reminder to not mix work with personal relationships, like an armour he puts on to protect ‘Xia Fei.’ Remember how some of the translations for his character song are “Rent a Shell”? Yeah, I’ll count that towards the evidence. This identity of ‘Felix’ is temporary.
‘Felix’ represents Lies.
3. Now let’s talk about ‘Xià Fěi’
Unlike with his English name, I’m gonna look into the meaning here. Please keep in mind that I don’t understand Chinese and am only using the translations of multiple websites and one app to find a general meaning. (Anyone better qualified than me, please correct me if anything I say here is incorrect.)
夏斐 (Xià Fěi) means ‘summer’ (夏) and ‘rich with literary elegance/brilliance’ (斐). So, summer fits a lot, considering how Feifei is a literal ray of sunshine (aka friendliness, helpfulness, passion), but it also rains a lot during summer which is also something to be associated with him (remember his flashback and YE6 before the modelling shoot began). Rain is quite depressing, especially in the context of Feifei’s flashback. In conclusion, he may have a very positive personality, but beneath all that is sadness and desperation. Now, about ‘rich with literary elegance/brilliance,’ I would connect this with the fact that he’s studying applied physics, has multiple scholarships (supposedly), and even looks to be drawing during a lecture in his character song video indicating that he can allow himself to be distracted. Summarised, this guy’s smarter than he acts. And if we put together his whole name, we get a very intelligent and positive person, who is actually depressed underneath all that. Yeah, that’s Feifei as we know him.
‘Xia Fei’ represents Truth.
So, while ‘Xia Fei’ is the passionate, desperate, and vulnerable identity of Feifei, his real identity, ‘Felix’ is the uncomfortable armour he often puts on, has to put on, to protect the real him, despite it just being a lie he uses to survive.
So, Truth means vulnerability, and Lies mean survival.
4. Now, how does Feifei struggle then?
Well, Vein hates lies, so this would require Feifei to be ‘Xia Fei’ around him, even though as his employee he should be ‘Felix.’ It muddles the separation of these two identities, ultimately resulting in ‘Xia Fei’ being put into ‘Felix’s world. But he doesn’t really need ‘Felix’ here, because now Vein is protecting him, essentially taking ‘Felix’s purpose. Vein doesn’t just require Feifei to stop lying, he keeps him safe while at it. It’s almost like a reward, I guess.
Of course, this is just in regards to canon. If one were to write Feifei struggling with his identity and slowly losing himself, that could maybe be done by having him slowly forget the importance of ‘Xia Fei’ and therefore increasingly be ‘Felix,’ meaning he would forget the importance of Truth and therefore replace that empty space with Lies. This could actually happen after YE6, because he no longer has Vein to keep him from lying. In the end, he’d probably be ‘Xia Fei’ only in name while his actual identity would be ‘Felix.’
5. Conclusion
Feifei has two identities he lives in, both representing different parts of himself. There’s ‘Xia Fei’ who represents Truth (his real self), his vulnerability, meaning his intelligence and positivity (friendly/helpful/passionate), but also depression and desperation. Desperation was what ultimately led him to really create ‘Felix,’ who represents Lies (his model persona), meaning both discomfort but also protection (armour) for ‘Xia Fei’ that let’s Feifei survive. Being around Vein means he has to be ‘Xia Fei,’ while his absence might make Feifei forget the importance of ‘Xia Fei’ and slowly replace him with ‘Felix.’
Notes:
I wrote this analysis back in January 2025, so right when Yingdu released. While part of this analysis probably doesn't hold true anymore, I still really like it and wanted to finally share it.
Fun fact! I basically wrote this for a friend whom I met through our Ao3 comment sections. We shared a lot of analysis thoughts about Veinfei. If you wanna find it, I've got my Ao3 linked in my pinned post.
Why is the format like that? I wanted to make it Fancy. That's literally all there is to it. These days my analyses are just word vomits. I've degraded so much smh