I like to butt into other people's conversations about my dogs so here I am. TA DA!
My dogs were never socialized with other dogs simply by virtue of my being home almost all the time and the lack of visiting dogs. Lirra, having spent her first nine months in a rescue "shelter" (i use that term loosely in this case), normally doesn't have a problem with other dogs other than getting all up in their business but one lip lift explains to her proper etiquette and everyone lives happily ever after. She is the goat and small mammal killer and used to be a bird killer but isn't any more.
Dinga moved here when she was 7 weeks old so her only real exposure to another dog has been her relationship with Lirra, and Ding's bossy, oh yes she is. When I gave Lirra away last year and went looking for a replacement guard dog, I discovered that Ding is dog aggressive because she's scared of dogs that are bigger than she is. She was frightened enough that she attacked the full sized German Shepherd I was considering keeping. When I brought Lirra back, we had a couple of scuffles before they settled back in together.
I've started taking Ding to ABATE meetings (there are always other dogs at the summer ones which are held outside), and on occasion I take her to Cary's or Cary brings her dogs over here. I'd like to get her socialized so all of our dogs can hang out together without fear of biting going on.
What I've found is that Ding is nervous around other dogs, but if they're her size or smaller, she'll settle into a grudging relationship If I'm There. If the other dog is larger than her, she shakes and stays close to me and if the other dog approaches, she'll growl a warning, but if that's ignored, she'll lash out. Remember that this is a dog that'll take on a cow - a strange dog twice her size isn't going to deter her.
Part of our problem, I believe, is Himself has unrealistic ideas about dog behavior and training and his reactions in the past with visiting dogs has exacerbated the problem. Consistency is key. When there's no consistency, the dog gets confused and doesn't know what the hell to do beyond falling back of past behaviors that were successful - in this case, going after the other dog.
I'm working on it but I need to increase her exposure because once a month in the summer months isn't enough to overcome whatever it is that's going on with her. And an added problem is the two packing up which causes Lirra to come to Dinga's defense when Ding starts getting upset or aggressive. Just like in the picture....Lirra is like, "I want to like you, but Ding won't let me." It's my fault, really. I've been saying for three years now that I should take her to dog school even though her skills are already above what they teach, but I never do because I'm not thrilled with the wishy-washy handling methods they use.
