Yeah, So? @naimhejeanne - Tumblr Blog

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I think everyone I was following has been added to the other tumblr. If I missed you, let me know. If I don’t follow you here, but you still want to follow me on the new one, send me a message.

As it turns out tumblr only lets you add 200 a day so I have half of you added and the other half will be added tomorrow or whenever tumblr decides I can add more. In the meantime, message rule still applies. Drop me a note or comment if you don’t check your follower list.

So I’ve started a new tumblr. I may still post here a little bit, but I’m moving to the new one to avoid big brother. I’ve had enough conflict caused by misunderstanding.

I’ll go through my follow list and refollow everyone, but if you want the process sped up, send me a message and I’ll send you the new name.

#too much shit today

It's a jail break

#goats #farm

Hooray, Hillary!!

Wait, did I say that out loud?

It was a nice weekend, mostly. The progressive dinner was sparsely attended, but we had a good time just the same. Those who attended now know that I have a new friend. They all promised him bodily harm if he hurts me. That was pretty funny. Not so funny was a late night conversation from which I learned that a couple of those same people knew there was something up between Himself and the chick he was texting. They weren’t sure whether to tell me. Always tell me. Always. I like the truth. What I don’t like is looking like an idiot for years and wasting time and love on a man who doesn’t want me.

Instead of working on my tractor, we went for a ride with the someone’s best friends yesterday. It was cold and there was patchy rain but not once did I get scared. No road rage, no nothing. I definitely didn’t miss riding on the back of a Sportster, but we had fun and I learned a couple of things. My butt and spine are unhappy today.

He has the reputation of being a player. I know his stories so I’m not concerned. I learned that he never buys anything for women he’s seeing. He bought me something. In fact, he had one of his friends get me out of the store to do so. They were floored. Nothing fancy or dramatic, it was the act itself that stunned them. The one who lured me away said, “All I’m going to say is he’s never done this before.” She wouldn’t tell me what the “this” was until it arrived in a bag with a sheepish look.

He has a history of not being demonstrative in public. This, too, is not the case with me. So much so that his friends remarked on it a couple of times when he was out of ear shot. His friends don’t know what to make of it.

He’s a hard one to read, and when I’m emphatic he calls it barking. I told him he’ll recognize barking when he hears it.

Things have the potential to move quickly. I should slow it down. Neither one of us needs to get hurt again, and it’s only been two weeks. That’s my pattern…they fall in love before they really know me and years later things fall to shit. I won’t get over Himself. Ever. But maybe I’ve found someone to be happy with who is happy with me just as I am.

Can you use a chainsaw, Van?

#vanpocalypse

If I hear or read about one more jackass politician pontificating about rape or reproductive rights Imma find myself a tower and a nice high powered scope.

monkeyfrog-deactivated20250120

We’ve been sibs a long time.

naimhejeanne

Gross

The difficulty with seeing someone new is the eventual necessity of explaining my mental health status and history of abuse. We already covered the mental health, but now we’ve reached the point where we’re going to have to discuss the trauma because I don’t always make sense and that’s the reason.

I hate those talks. I hate not knowing if the person is going to look at me cross eyed and tell me to get the hell over it or pity me. I don’t want either. I want him to listen, try to comprehend, ask questions if need be, and accept that this is the way it is. But most of all, I really want to not have to talk about it in the first place.

He says he loves me. How do you love someone who appears to be relatively normal but is so broken? But he has broken parts too that he doesn’t really talk about so maybe our broken parts will fit together. Or maybe I’ll just get myself crushed again.

Five?

I’m suffering from a decided lack of sleep. Someone gets up for work at 5 am. We chat until he leaves at 6 am. I have a frustrating inability to fall back asleep once I’m up and chatting. However, I have no problem staying awake a large portion of the night which means I’ve averaged about 5 hours sleep a night for the past three weeks. My IQ has dropped 30 points minimum.

I have all of these service calls to do but the weather is being a dick and when it’s not, I don’t have anyone to go with me. Plus...phone calls. God, I hate making phone calls to set up appts. Frustrating.

Tomorrow is the biker bonfire at my place. Actually it’s called a progressive dinner run which means a bunch of people on motorcycles drive one place to eat hors d’oevres, then another for salads and booze, then a third for entrees, then my place for dessert and fire. Now it looks like I may have to hostess the second stop as well because he probably has to work. I need to load my wagon with wood, set up the fire pit, make some dessert things (and a salad I volunteered to make for the second stop), and clean my house up some so I don’t look like I’ve been running on 5 hours sleep and bouncing between multiple houses for the past three weeks.

The Someone calls me several times a day but doesn’t talk. It’s odd. It’s like when my kid used to call and play video games or talk to his friends only there’s no background game playing or friend talking to, just silence with an occasional remark. If I’m expected to carry the conversation, we’re in trouble. I’m going to make a list of questions to ask him so there’s less dead air. At this juncture, we have almost all of our serious conversations via text. He’d fit right in on tumblr.

The roommate has now decided that he may stay another month or two as he has an interview in Wisconsin the acceptance of which might result in relocation plus he doesn’t really want to leave. Sorry, Taiss, I’ll have to put you in the tiny room on the princess-and-the-pea-bed.

xntrek

In which I prove my insanity by organising a schedule that is going to be the death of me, presuming an overzealous TSA agent doesn’t look at my ID and ban entry before it all starts … On the presumption I make it into the country, though, here it is …

TheHugeManatees! (in 8 days) Tampa, Florida will be the landing of this one-man aussie delegation of hugs. I already know minorfall will be in on the shenanigans, but for those who are also nearby and wishing to hug (or spank) me in person, details of my predicament can be gained by contactingnotactuallyme and turning up in Tampa on Saturday April 18!

GSC TechCon (in 10 days) THE CORPORATE KOOL AID CONFERENCE. It may be in Orlando, and Disneyland may be across the road, but this ain’t no theme park fueled road trip, unless LGAT style schedules are your idea of fun.

Jawja (in 14 days) atsirhc will be smothered with hugs on the evening of the 23rd April, which is ok, because I’m a qualified Hugger …. and a trained advanced resuscitation first-response first-aider. clappityclippity will be meeting me for lunch in Atlanta on Friday 24th April right before I rip down the highway and settle onto redjeep‘s porch for the night

Buffalo! (in 16 days) Arriving into the BUF at about 1230-ish on Saturday 25th April I will be catching up with cloudya who ever-so-kindly started organising a meet up with a bunch of wonderful people from across the border (looking at you do-over, rsmallbone, yummycupcakes) and across the state … and megajcreates and acrazymomslife have even organised a road trip to come up! I feel popular … also scared … in a good way.

FARMLANDIA! (in 17 days) Arriving in Chicago at midday, I have an SUV booked and a road trip out to the farming zone of farmlandia where I may end up having to use those aforementioned first aid skills on naimhejeanne andmonkeyfrog after applying bear-hugs-of-mass-appreciation. There may be a lot of poop involved. Because, farm.

From the A to the z (in 20 days) Departing the plains of Illinois and driving back to Chicago (in what can only be presumed to be in tears) on Wednesday 29th will only be made tolerable by the fact that after landing in Phoenix at around 1400, I’ll have the chance to finally hug my brother from another mother, redcloud, as well as catch up with coyotesqrl and anyone else who is within coo-ee of the place

SanFranJose (in 21 days) Leaving the dessert I land in San Fran at 1230 on Thursday April 30th. I figured that there will be a bunch of mischief to be organised by the time I reach out to pocketcuntents, apricotica and claviusrobinsky. Anyone in the San Fran/Jose bay region I’m missing out on?

Lost Angels be damned (in 22 days) I have a flight out of the country from LAX which requires me to be at the airport at 2030. I haven’t booked a flight into LA yet because I’m not sure who out there I’m going to catch up with - so if you are there, and can catch up on Friday 01 May, shout out! Otherwise I may end up spending it in the bay area and doing the last-minute connect out.I’m not going to make it anywhere else, and this schedule is insane enough as it is … but if I missed out on you it wasn’t on purpose! If you are anywhere near where I will be, then reach out to me via DM or using the gmail.com domain where my username is xntrek just like it is everywhere else. For those confused by the words, here’s a visual aide ->

naimhejeanne

Since my sister is calendrically challenged, Taiss will be in our sphere from Sunday the 26th until Wed the 29th of April. We, too, will be here in case you weren’t sure. If you’d like to meet him, and you’re nuts if you wouldn’t, give a shout and I’ll pass on directions and whatnot. Two hours from O’Hare, one hour from Madison, one and half from Dubuque in case you need to get your bearings. It may be a once in a lifetime opportunity.

I have dogs, I have guns, I have gates in front that lock so, yeah, not worried.

#widdlywiddlywah

The one on the house said something to the effect of:

Hey babe, where ya been? Miss you. We need to get together soon and do it. You still owe me $100.00. Love, April.

The one on my Jeep says:

Hey ### has a girlfriend and is me. Love, me

Her penmanship and grammar are atrocious. Oh and apparently he spoke to a deputy sheriff a while back who went to her house, where she lives with her parents, and told her to knock it off so now when she drives past, she doesn’t honk. He keeps all of the notes for documentation.

#monkeyfrog #stalker

So the Someone has a stalker. The first time I was at his house he told me that if I saw a red car drive by and honk it was this chick who’s been stalking him. I didn’t give it much weight because, really, he doesn’t strike as the type to have a stalker. Whatever that means. But I arrived at his house last night to find a note on his door and this morning there was another on my Jeep.

Hmmm.

He worked on this chick’s car once three years ago and she’s been at it ever since. Nothing threatening, just the drive by honking and periodic notes taped on things. I find it kind of humorous but he finds it really annoying because apparently she has told a bunch of people that they’ve been together for 20 years and she’s left voicemails at his places of employment. I can’t help but think that she needs a more productive hobby.

My only concern, and it’s not really a concern per se, is I could have sworn I locked the Jeep last night - I made it a point to when I found the first note - but it was unlocked this morning when I found the note on my window. However, nothing appears to be missing and he doesn’t think she’d have the balls to rout around in my vehicle. She’d be wise not to do that sort of thing what with my having no sense of humor to speak of.

#stalker

There’s this thing I do wherein I pick my fights. The rule I try to follow is: is it productive? Will my expressing an opinion or correcting a misperception effect any positive or productive change or just create more conflict? I try consider this before I open my mouth unless I’m caught off guard and shit just flies out of my face.

So I had a crappy day. I received an unneeded (passive aggressive) lecture this morning, and a bit of a chewing on this afternoon and, when I told the Someone about them both, he asked, “Did you say something?” Well, no, I didn’t. Why? Because it would have been totally unproductive so what would be the point? I used to say, a bit too often actually, “Because it serves no useful purpose.” If that’s the case, I just keep it to myself.

In other news, I recently discovered that when I worry out loud, which I do far too frequently, I sound critical. I don’t intend to be critical; I’m not even really criticizing. I’m just worrying about stuff - people mostly - and it comes across that way. Thanks, Mom. So in the interest of today’s navel gazing, I’m going to attempt to not worry about people (or my dog - I do it with my dog too) out loud. Then I won’t sound like a critical bitch when in reality, I’m just really uptight and worried about stuff almost all the time.

Now I must take a shower because I smell like a yak, and I have places to go and people to see whose behaviors I will attempt to not worry about.

sheisesomesay-deactivated201602

The older I get, the more complex I realize trust is.Trust isn’t sharing secrets and not telling lies.

Trust is giving someone ammunition to hurt you and they don’t. Trust is inviting someone into the depths of you that nobody sees and they keep those depths safe. Trust is allowing someone to take your burden. Trust is saying what you need to say without fear. Trust is showing someone how ugly you can be and they don’t forget your beauty. Trust is letting someone remind you how great you are when you feel that you aren’t and you believe them.

Trust is never about spoken words and promises. Trust is about safeguarding the heart and soul when it’s exposed to the elements of destruction.

naimhejeanne

Yeah....not very trusting over here, but I think Erin hit it right on the head.

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