#asheartsfade

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     “you wanna come stay with me for a little while?”  he leaned against the doorframe of doula’s room, smiling a bit, though it was tinged with sadness. he hid the anger he felt towards liz, however.  “set up a room for you and everything.”  he’d keep her however long it took for liz to get her shit together after all that vegetable cult craziness, putting doula at risk joining some kind of loony-toon asylum.    //    @asheartsfade  /  happy national siblings day  ;  closed 

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     “luke told you.”  really wouldn’t be any other explanation for liz showing up in philly, already looking like he’d kicked her in the stomach, two inches away from crying in the middle of truncheon. thank god for matt wanting to close up early tonight. christina sat at his desk, scribbling away at something — not a coloring book; she fucking hated those things — and oblivious to the tense atmosphere across the room from her. she didn’t know who liz was, so why would she look up? he made sure to block christina’s dark, wild head from liz as much as he could. fuck, i’m not ready for this yet. i told luke i wasn’t ready for this yet.    //    @asheartsfade  /  plotted (ish) starter  ;  closed 

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@asheartsfade    //    rory . 

         “on the contrary, you’re one of the few who are not too late.” her mother had gone off in search of coffee, accompanied by luke, and her grandmother was supposedly stuck in some huge traffic jam. and logan          … well, given their situation she supposed it wasn’t entirely unexpected for him to not be there or answer the phone. at least, not right away. her eyes dropped as she exhaled        the anxiety of labor was hitting her quite hard, and even in this moment of calm she could feel her heart pounding and palms sweating. though maybe all that was why something slipped out that sounded a bit more sentimental than she may have intended: “i’m really glad you’re here.” 

     jess found himself quite unflappable in times of high stress or chaos. he was better at keeping grounded than most around him, or at least better at appearing stable and calm. but this? as soon as he’d gotten the text from rory about going into labor his pulse had jumped through the roof, bringing up shortness of breath and nauseating anxiety along with it.  “am i the only one here?”  that didn’t seem right or believable; rory always had a support system around her, growing up and now.  “you, uh... you need anything? anything from me?”  he looked down at her in that bed, all nerves herself. what a pair the two of them made. 

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@asheartsfade    //    beth . 

         “in case you haven’t noticed, jess, this family is crazy.” it wasn’t uncommon for one pearson sibling to visit another for a weekend, and beth had gotten used to those little sojourns by now. while kevin was often not the best houseguest (though he was the most frequent), at least he didn’t require much in terms of necessities and accommodations. kate, on the other hand… beth was going through a laundry list of of preparations for just two days with her brother and nieces. exactly three pillows and two blankets and a bedroom temperature of no more and no less than seventy degrees were the easier ones          the tip of the iceberg. “and between you and me, kate inherited just a little more crazy than the rest of ‘em.” 

     “i basically shared a room with your husband for a couple years. i know some pearson crazy.”  he smirked, taking a sip of his coffee before standing up and moving to beth’s side.  “what d’you need from me?”  despite his start, jess knew he could handle a lot more than some of the people in his pseudo-adopted family. beth was stronger than most, and he’d liked her from the beginning, but pearson prep wasn’t an easy job.  “i’ve got some experience in kate maintenance, and you’re startin’ to get that frenzied look in your eyes.”  he raised his eyebrows beth’s direction, look eradicating any potential for argument or protestation being believed. 

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@asheartsfade    //    liz . 

         “how you feel?” liz arched her eyebrows a bit, fighting to keep intense emotion off her face. part of her was so happy that jess seemed to want to be opening up to her. but part of her was terrified that this wasn’t something she could handle properly. she’d done jess wrong in so many ways, and god forbid she’d say something wrong or react the wrong way and regress on the progress they’d made. jess was   so easy to set off   delicate already          she was going to walk on eggshells for this one. “well, go ahead, honey, i’m your mom. that’s what i’m here for. isn’t it? that’s a mom thing.”

     so far, everything the therapist in philly suggested worked out well. maybe this’ll be okay, too.  “i don’t like being around... here.”  there were still parts of him that wanted to take care of liz, weirdly enough. he picked at his hands, clasped together atop his knees. he managed to look into liz’s face after a little bit, noting the need to maybe clarify a bit more.  “with you and t.j. and... doula.”  he loved his sister, and they got along well. but whenever he had to be around his mother and how she mothered doula, all he could think about was how she’d mothered him. then the question would come crashing in: why couldn’t you get all this together for me?  “so i feel like i should just stay with luke this christmas.” 

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@asheartsfade    //    mom . 

         “what?” his implications struck a nerve, and immediately she launched into awkward, nervous laughter, energy skyrocketing as she rushed to brush the matter aside. liz was clearly overdoing it. “jess, honey, i          i don’t keep anything in pots          in fact, i don’t even know why we have any pots, since it’s not like i could handle the responsibility to take care of a plant, right?” more uncomfortable chuckling followed her attempt at a joke. she moved to stand in front of him, trying to nonchalantly block him from the object in question. there was no need for him to try to confirm any suspicions. 

     he shifted his backpack off his shoulder, setting in on the couch for now.  “frank was looking for it last night. he said it was his stuff.”  mom had already passed out, so the asshole could only come after jess about the drugs he couldn’t find. he stepped a little closer, keeping his dark eyes on his mother’s. he didn’t like frank. he pushed jess around when mom wasn’t looking — but most of them did that — and jess didn’t like the way frank yelled at his mother. he’d end up slipping out onto the fire escape again if frank had another mad night, and it was cold. 

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@asheartsfade    //    rory . 

         rory’s gaze dropped as she crossed her arms uncomfortably over her chest, one hand rubbing the other arm          a nervous habit. uncomfortable conversations, while she guessed were no one’s cup of tea, were really ones in which she truly floundered. “i          …” she exhaled, trying to muster up enough courage to at least look him in the eyes. “maybe i don’t want to get hurt again, jess.” the honesty felt good, but made her stomach flip at the same time. “the way things ended with us, i          it hurt.” 

     he nodded, gaze dropping to the ground between them. he deserved that. he loved her, but he did not deserve somebody like rory. he’d broken their relationship; he’d broken her. why hadn’t he just left her alone like everybody had wanted him to? why had he thought he wouldn’t break them when he broke everything he touched?  “i know.”  he finally looked back up. it had only been a few months since they’d been together, but it felt like years. it felt like they were completely different people.  “i’m sorry.” 

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     “tell the night it’s dark. tell your eyes they’re tired...”    //    ‘STAY AWAKE’ by joseph :  @asheartsfade  /  ♥’d  ;  open