#ashitaka

[daffsforstag]

Recently found out my dad ain’t shit, so I had to run back to this movie to see my boy, the pinnacle of men

[motanghulu]

the novel is ass as fuck actually. sigh. had high hopes but it just builds up to nothing

i do still want to know what exactly caused zhan chao's family's downfall given just how rich they were, so I'll skim it probably

[motanghulu]

of course, I was trying to find those exact reasons why our protags like each other at all, and as is the case with ashitaka novels, it continues to be more vague than obvious. but, one must persevere:

zhan chao seems to have always knows he was gay, and was both quick and without shame when it came to his crush of yan jiayao. quick shoutout to the pond scene where zhan chao makes peace with his sexuality btw

the real question throughout the chapters was yan jiayao. one, he is very much the male lead, not the protag, and we don't really know what he's thinking afterall. but, i read his compliance as a certain form of acceptance of zhan chao's feelings. i mean, given that he was completely sure of zhan chao's feelings as early as the yeats incident, the inherent fact that he never pushed aside zhan chao and what was, at that point, clearly flirtation, seems to indicate that he was at the very least open to the suggestion of a future. this especially lands right before the scene where they hug for the first time, abd when zhan chao had dragged jiayao out (which, deskmate xu very kindly adds is a precursor to a confession, and hence jiayao would have also known this), zhan chao hinself notes that jiayao never once berates him from dragging his ass out in the cold, and very decisively starts small talk. i was thinking about how if jiayao were a girl, and this was a straight romance, this is literally textbook acceptance from the girl's end. all just a proof, really; i do not claim the assumption to be a good signifier of consent

also the painting scene, where while zhan chao's feelings are meant to exist, very much so, but forced to be implicit (like the misty poetry it metaphors), yan jiayao is supposed to be taken aback, but not in confusion, but in recognition.

[motanghulu]

reading ashitaka after pretty much years of not having smut in my danmei cause i despise pre-chai jidan novels and theyre almost never to my taste

and its pretty good too!

why tho? is it because ashitaka's works are all on changpei? is the smut ban only on jjwxc? someone explain me please!

[motanghulu]

and as always, ashitaka strikes through. it took quite the extensive google searching to figure out what this misty school and puyi metaphors were supposed to mean and how they were connected to the ambiguous emotional turmoil of a first love not yet recognized but ill be damned.

[motanghulu]

the author really overestimates my memory bro the timeline of this book is MESSY

i /think/ they should've met in like 2000? in 2010 they reunite, and they're going strong in 2013 with jiabao in college (which she was admitted to in 2010) and zhan chao works as an illegal taxi driver

the current timeline is 2019, where cen yao is in prison (and its been 6 years, so he mustve been arrested in 2013)

[motanghulu]

love ashitaka's books cause they include such a vivid picture of china and its culture in them. yall telling me the bhabhi lover trend exists in china too!

[motanghulu]

was trying to find the ashitaka book i found randomly once while mtl-ing caomoli and i found it! its called carnival 嘉年华