“ I had an amazing time last night, we need to do that more often, I say day after tomorrow, we plan to do it all over again! “
♥ : for a loving voicemail
“ You glow more and more every day I see you, I can see it through absolutely everything that might be weighing you down. Please stay chipper dovey.“
♚ : for a confessing voicemail
“ How do I say this without causing more trouble than either of us need? I ..Julian makes me uncomfortable.. I think he’s a great guy on his own but he makes me highly uncomfortable..“
☆ : for a drunken voicemail
“ I.. am listening to some of the oldest.. music in existence right now.. Hahaha! That ATC song? All around the world.. LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA.. that one? You know the one right? I sound like a fucking moron, that’s okay! Just.. gonna keep drinking my drink and..just.. keep going!“
✾: for a congratulatory voicemail
“ CONGRATS ON BEING THE BEST MOTHER EVER! I’m throwing you a bloody baby shower eh? No excuses! “
☽: for the final voicemail ever received (think death, etc)
“ I can’t take living a mediocre life.. I can’t take feeling entirely inadequate.. to everyone. I’m second rate, second best, and always picked last. And I’m fucking done..I’m sorry this had to happen, and I love you and the baby dearly- but I’m done.“
ϟ: for a break up voicemail ( AU where they are dating I GUESS )
“ It’s taken me nearly fucking up our relationship as friends.. of becoming awkward with nearly everyone else, and pining relentlessly after someone I feel is.. out of reach- to realize that you and I.. can’t work. I love you.. but Lilly.. I’m gay. I’m gay and what I thought was enough love to bypass that, is not. I am sorry.. I love you- but I love you in a platonic way.. Please forgive me for causing you so much heart ache…I do..truly love you- but I can’t take the idea of never making you feel like you are physically beautiful in the way you deserve to feel.. You deserve a man that can love you for every facet of your person.. That and.. I don’t think you’d fancy putting on a strap on for me, which is a terrible joke I know but it’s somewhat true.. Please.. don’t hate me.. “
♦: for an apologetic voicemail
“ Lils I didn’t mean to insult your favorite show! I’m sorry! I was just playing around I promise!“
“ Do you think that.. if I had been… born into a different body, that maybe I would have had a better chance at life? All the guys around here seem so gorgeous, and it’s almost like.. looks equal money around here.. “
☎: for a voicemail not meant for you
“ I’m on my way home, I got the fruit you asked for meu amante brasileiro.. try not to start Little Shop of Horrors without me! You know I have to pretend to be Audrey 2..again.. And don’t you laugh at me, I think I’m a sassy plant.. “
☃: for a holiday-centric voicemail
“ Jingle bells, jingle bells, JINGLE ALL THE WAY! GUESS WHO JUST GOT PAID? Let’s go shopping, new wardrobe time! MERRY CHRISTMAS LILS!“
✉: for a ‘BIG NEWS!’ voicemail
“ You are never going to believe what happened.. but.. Now that I’m a bartender, I finally got a bloody car! Guess who is literally going to be the absolute best chauffeur to you? THIS JOBURG BOY! NO MORE WALKING!“
“ How do you feel about Gabriel…? ”