#ask lm bill

[littlemonstersau-blog]

So sorry I mixed up your disguise for you being Wendy. They just look so much alike.

Bill: I have no words.

[littlemonstersau-blog]

Best of luck on your interview for the Official Dipper's Boyfriend Position! I like how your resume looks so far, and you got the good presence nailed already. You got a good shot at this ;D

Bill: Well thank you too for the good wishes! Man, you guys keep wishing me luck on this like there’s any possibility that I may screw it up or something! But rest assured, I won’t. I can’t. There’s no room for screwing this one up.

Bill: I am extremely anxious.

[littlemonstersau-blog]

So I asked this before tumblr decided to wipe your account off the face of the earth, but now that your here again... here’s my question: why did you destroy your home dimension bill? it must’ve been pretty bad for you to want to destroy the place that you were born in (also don’t ask how i know this, I just do)

Bill: Well, I kinda have been avoiding answering this question for a while I guess but since you guys have thoroughly demonstrated to be absolutely uninterested on helping this dimension survive me in the long run, I don’t see much of a reason not to tell you why. It’s simple really, I just h-...

Bill: I....well....

Bill: Y-You see, my....

Bill: That’s strange, I was sure I had that memory tucked away somewhere. Did I....did I remember to leave it behind the last time I...?...did I pass that down when I broke a part of me and...? H-Hold on for a second, I’m starting to get w.... Wait....Wait...

[littlemonstersau-blog]

See, this is what you get for not telling Wendy about this plan o' yours! She barely tolerates you as is, you think this is gonna help?

Bill: Ok first, I don’t care much for her tolerating me; I mean she already has to during her work hours and after those is pretty easy to avoid her, and s-

Sammy: Hey, pal! Are ya gonna need this vessel back or no?

Bill: Nah, that thing took quite a toll after the beating and our fun. Don’t think I can use it again, you can keep it if you want.

Sammy: Sweet!

Bill: So as I was saying, I don’t mind her much disliking me. I mean it would be nice if she didn’t, sure would make things easier for me, but she’s not actively trying to have Dipper break up with me so unless I do something bad enough to get her to do that (and I don’t think what I just now did counts) I’m fine and dandy with getting stared into my neck at work every day, no harm done. Sec-

Bill: …wait…

Bill: Y’know what Sammy, I just realized there’s nothing you can do to that empty vessel that’s not gonna be absolutely creepy, and I rather not right now. Hand it back, I’m gonna go burn it somewhere.

Sammy: Awww, but I was gonna have so much fun!! And you wanna call yourself the life of the party here??!

[littlemonstersau-blog]

So bill, do you still feel weird when you’re out of the clone suits? because in some asks you’re in the clone suits and sometimes you’re not, is it just to keep it consistent or something?

Bill: Actually, that’s because I’m trying to practice my magic a lot more these days! Staying inside the clonesuits when I’m magicking around could ruin them super easily, they’re made of paper after all, so I leave them home for that. Also, Ford prefers me out of the suit when I go visit him so I stay au naturale around those times as well; so yeah, I’ve been spending a lot of the day without a vessel lately!

Bill: Also, I’ve gone through a lot more vessels already that I suspected I would. Even being extra careful around Sammy or just stuff in general doesn’t seem to help much, somehow I always end up hurting them or maiming them or accidentally amputating a limb almost every other day. I’m fearing I may have grossly miscalculated how many of those I would need to keep me at bay until Dipper returns... I’m not on my last ones, not yet, but I rather still save them up. I’d hate hate HATE it so much if Dipper finally arrived back and I didn’t have  a proper suit to properly greet him with.

[littlemonstersau-blog]

Are you getting over your loneliness? Is it a new sensation for a being of your kind? If so, how would you describe it?

Bill: ...

Bill: Wow, wasn’t expecting this deep of a question right as I came back, jeez. Well, uh...

Bill: I guess it’s not really that new of a sensation, now that I’ve think about it. I’ve been lonely before, but more often than not by choice. I’m a people guy, y’see, love having a crowd around me to witness my madness n’ all. And I’m guess I’m not lonely, really, I have Stan and Sammy and...Soos and Melody, I guess...and you guys! So strictly speaking I’m not alone, but yeah...it does feel lonely.

Bill: And it’s different than other times, more...biting, more present. I have to actively distract myself from it and look towards the future, when I’m kinda always been better equipped to deal with the here and now (I mean, I’m good at planning and all, but I rather didn’t have to and could just enjoy a good time in the present.) The worst part to me is how long is it all taking, to get the magic to a decent level without just straight up sucking people’s life juices out and all that. It hasn’t even been that long at all if we’re realistic, and for a guy like me who’s used to feeling a decade go by in like a minute, experiencing every excruciatingly slow second of the day tick by is akin to straight up torture!! Self inflicted, torture, at that; it’d be so easy to just break everything around me down and try to brute force my way out like that!!!....but I know going down that road would also break everything I have with Dipper. So I have to do it the slow, tedious way. He’s the reason I wanna be out now, and will be for the next hundred years or so. Probably more, if we’re honest here.

[littlemonstersau-blog]

Willy *snrk* congrats on reaching a friendlier state with Fordsy. How often do you two, like, hang out? What do you two do together?

Bill: What

Bill:  D͙̜ͪͤ̓͢͠͞I̵̪̫̳̒̐̈͞D̓҉̠̮̰̰̱̯̪̣̬ ̀ͮ̓ͦ҉̶͓̟̪̳͓͢ͅI̷̠ͮ ̦͉͊̑ͦ́̚͘͝S̴̼̗̘̺̀̿̇ͧ̉̎͞A̵̺͓͉̱̓͑̾̈ͧ͜ͅY̴̛͇̮̮͍̜͌͛ͣ͑ 

Bill: about calling me that stupid-

Bill: Oh!! Hehe, I was wondering when someone was gonna ask. Well, so far I’m happy to report his friendlier demeanor towards me did last longer than the twelve hour period I calculated it would. He’s still somewhat distant, but he’s slowly, slowly opening up to me again! And It’s…I can’t describe the feeling.

Have you ever had a friendship ruined with someone for decades to the point where you became mortal enemies and the suddenly a miracle happens and you guys are on the road to maybe friendship again? No? Of course you haven’t. Well, whatever less dramatic and important thing that has happened to you personally that you can relate to my situation, imagine that feeling but like, elevated to a trillion. It’s amazing, and I can barely contain myself these days.

Mostly we hang out down the lab, I help him with little projects or we just pass the time with board games and such. Nothing too big yet, I have a sense I’m still on a like probation period, but most of the time it’s a mutually pleasant experience! (well, not that kinda pleasant…sadly…but pleasant regardless). The one thing that I’m having a slight problem with, even though I saw it coming, is that he’s starting to… ask questions.

And not in the over the top, crazed detective with ten cups of coffee and a week of no sleep on kinda way he’d been doing it in the past. These now come in subtle ways, during our chats and when my defenses are…honestly…lowered. I’ve been able to misdirect most of the really pesky ones (only like one or two about Dipper so far, luckily) but I see him wisening up, getting more poignant, but never probing far enough for me to have a honest reason to get offended or dismiss them outright. It’s kinda scary how cunning he can be when he wants to. And….I kinda love it? I haven’t had this much intellectual stimuli since Dipper left, and even though I don’t actually want him to corner me and make me admit anything problematic this sorta cat-and-mouse chase we have with words is, honestly, very stimulating for me. I wouldn’t mind if it keeps happening, however dangerous it can get. He-he.

[littlemonstersau-blog]

Can I just say how much I love your eyes? When you’re in a body or just in your triangle form I found your eye so beautiful. Its so expressive and just so pretty. I especially love if when your eyes change color. Just so pretty.

- bipperlover666

Bill: Awwn you rascal! I don’t get as many outright compliments as of late (from any of you supposed followers/peeping toms anyways). Always nice to know I’m still able to charm humans. Really, honestly, because the day I stop being able to subdue inferior creatures with my presence alone is the day I’d have hit rock bottom for sure. Luckily you’ve put me in a good mood, so here, have some pretty eyes to look at! Hope they keep you satisfied for a good while.