2 Years ago, I was a devout christian like you. Now, I do not believe in God and believe that Jesus was nothing more than a historical figure. I'm (Finally!) an out and proud lesbian and i could NOT be more "supremely" happy than i am now!! I'm happy that your happy in your faith, but don't you dare tell me that i am unhappy without a God. I'm happiest without one acutally
Hi there lovely. It sounds like you have a lot going on and were probably struggling with some emotions and thoughts that were hindering you from having a relationship with God. So you gave up that relationship entirely and began to pursue one of your own, without Him. And I’m so sorry to hear that.
I don’t recall saying that you’re not happy without God. I’m sure you are happy, in a sense. You are happy by the definition that you know of the word, compared to other happiness in the world or perhaps happiness that you have experienced in the past. But guess what! There is a happiness even greater than what you are experiencing. It’s a thousand times greater. A million. It’s a happiness with God. You might be thinking, “Well, I was with God, but I’m happier now!” But perhaps that relationship with God wasn’t what God intended for it to be. Maybe it wasn’t sincere. Or, maybe the happiness you are feeling now seems better because it is a worldly happiness. We have worldly desires that we sometimes think are more important than spiritual ones, but in the end, they aren’t!
God loves you now as much as He did, as much as He always will. He loves you with an infinite, everlasting love that will never fade or go away, no matter what you do. You can still have a relationship with God while struggling with sin, because guess what! We are all struggling with sin. I struggle with the similar sins every day, and I am trying to conquer them, and it’s really difficult sometimes. But I know that God loves me the same today as He did yesterday, as He will if I ever become a ‘perfect’ Christian (which seems highly unlikely). He loves you the same as He loves me, with all of our sins and brokenness. You are His precious, beautiful Creation whom He loves and adores whole-heatedly.
I hope that you consider this and consider coming back to God. A lifetime of pleasure in sin without repentance is nowhere near worth an eternity without God because of that sin. But a lifetime living in comfort, forgiveness, and guidance with God (the Christian life) is 100% worth an eternity in Heaven with Him! It’s a win-win situation, if you ask me haha. Christianity isn’t about following rules or commandments or being perfect in any way. It’s about knowing that God loves us dearly, that He has a plan for each and every one of us to walk with Him. It’s about feeling a sense of peace and comfort always because you are with God, and knowing that you can place your faith in Him when times get rough. When you’re stressed about school or work, you can say, “God, take this stress from me. I trust in you,” and He will. He will guide you and help you ALWAYS. And it’s about always having someone to talk to, 24/7, someone who is eager to listen and has the power to answer any one of your prayers. Romans 8:28 tells us that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him. That means that whatever happens in our life, whether we think it is good or bad, we can have the assurance that it is for our good, that something good will come from it to help us learn or grow or strengthen our faith. And, best of all, it’s having the knowledge that when we die, which we will!, we will get to spend an ETERNITY in Heaven with God. Heaven is perfect and we will get to spend forever there with the Creator of the Universe. It’s awesome, it’s so much more than we, broken sinners, deserve, but He offers it to us anyway at no cost. Salvation is a free gift. Confess of your sins and repent and believe in God with all of your heart, and you can have that salvation and that peace and everything above and so much more. A Christian life isn’t always perfect, and it’s rocky a lot of times, but it’s so worth it. I’m so much happier now than I ever was before I was saved. It’s indescribable, what God has done in my life. And even though you have turned away from Him, you can go back to Him anytime. There are so many parables throughout the Gospels that describe how wonderful it is for someone to come back to Christ after turning away. Take the Parable of the Lost Sheep, for instance. It describes how a shepherd with 100 sheep, after 1 runs away, will be more pleased to find the one than to have the 99. You are the lost sheep, darling. God will be so pleased for your return. The angels in Heaven will rejoice when you go back to God.
Please know that I am praying desperately for your salvation. If you want to talk about this more, please don’t hesitate to shoot me another message! If you ask me off anon I’d be happy to answer privately and we can have a more personal conversation. God is waiting with open arms for you to come back to Him. Please consider it. xx
(If anyone has anything to add, please reblog and add it!)