#askcarloaf

[eyececil]

Well, I hope you have a wonderful time! And I will pass your message to them, don’t worry. Just enjoy yourselves!

Also yeah, I have won some. Carlos is hard because he always makes me laugh, that cheater

[eyececil]

"Yeah, let's blow stuff up!! What are we gonna blow up??! Just the fireworks or other stuff with it like maybe watermelons? Telly's old barber sign? The Moon??"

[eyececil]

[christopherrose-pa]

This isn't going to end well.

[whispering-in-the-woods-archive]

//thanks to askcarloaf I keep saying “Scientifically radical!”

[aughtpunk]

Uhm... Can it be like Loaf fiction? Because I can do can ask loaf fiction! Ceciloaf and Carloaf! "Ever wonder if the world would be better off without you… ?"

"Carloaf! Hurry up!"

Carloaf stood up on the kitchen counter, his small nubby legs barely keeping himself upright. He was leaning against the microwave (the one used for cooking, not inter-dimensional travel) counting the seconds between the popcorn pops.

"Its almost done!" Carloaf shouted back at his loafmate. The kitchen and living room were attached, yet to a loaf they might as well have been across the house. He turned his attention back to the popping bag. Let’s see, what did his Papa say? Take it out when it’s three seconds between pops? One, two, three, four. One, two…three! Carloaf gasped as he quickly pressed the open-door button on the microwave to stop their snack from burning. Unfortunately for the young loaf he must have hit the button too hard. The door slammed open, sending Carloaf flying off the counter.

"AHHH!"

Carloaf closed his eyes, hoping not to smoosh too hard when he hit the ground, only to feel himself land on two soft hands. He opened his eyes only to stare up at a smooth, featureless face framed with straggly white hair.

"Thank you Faceless Old Woman!"

"It was nothing." The Faceless Old Woman said as she carried him into the living room. "It was literally nothing. I was simply holding my hands out as I do every day around this time. If you had not fallen I would still be there, attempting to hold on to a single moment of time. But no matter how still I am the moment shatters, unable to stand against the ever moving future. One day I shall capture a moment, and in its fragile beauty I shall see the present as it truly is. May I have some of your popcorn?"

"Sure!" Carloaf jumped from her hands and onto the couch. His loafmate Ceciloaf was already there, snuggled under their favorite blanket. The other loaf gave Carloaf a wave to come closer.

"It already started!" Ceciloaf said. "Come on!"

"I shall go prepare the popcorn." The Faceless Old Woman said as she seemingly vanished. "As it should be prepared. With a hint of nutmeg and the memory of when a movie was enough to chase away the pathetic worries of childhood."

"We’re not watching a movie! We’re watching soap operas!" Ceciloaf said as he lifted up the blanket to allow Carloaf to join him. The two loafs snuggled close to each other and shared a quick loaf-smooch.

"What did I miss?" Carloaf whispered.

"Scotty proposed to Caroline, but she refused ‘cause she found out about his evil not-City-Council-Approved Cult!"

"Ever wonder if the world would be better off without you?" Said the woman on the TV, obviously glancing off screen at cue cards."Also, we’re already married, Scotty. For like, ten years. We had a kid and everything."

"Oh my gosh!" Ceciloaf said as he squeezed Carloaf’s nub. "How dramatic!"

"Aww, it’s sad." Carloaf frowned.

"No wait, they’re kissing now!"

"Yay it’s happy again!"

Ceciloaf giggled. “Humans are weird.”

Carloaf wrapped a nubby arm around Ceciloaf. “They sure are.”

[butch-nergigante]

real talk tho askcarloaf is pretty much the cutest, sweetest Night Vale ask blog out there and anyone who's into wtnv should follow them.