"i dunno, i don't think i have social anxiety or anything, i'm just awkward. like, i can do public speaking with no problem so long as i have a script, it's just that certain weird things make me nervous. it's fine, i just make it sound worse than it is when talking to my therapists." <=guy whose gut feelings are frequently convinced that basically everyone wants to beat him with hammers
“Not yet. Sam said he didn’t need any help with that haunting in Iowa and Eileen went with him, so not hanging out with them. And nothing on Jack’s schedule. Or mine.”
Cas smiled wide. “So we have time to work on my truck?”
Dean looked at Cas’ smile and smiled back in reflex. “Yeah we can work on your truck. Is it running rough or something?”
“No. It’s running fine.”
“Then what do you wanna do with it? I mean, I can show you how to do more maintenance stuff on it, I guess…” Dean trailed off as Cas shook his head.
“I was poking around on youtube and there were all these videos about tricking out trucks. I especially liked all the chrome…”
“Lemme get this straight. You want to. Trick out that old pickup?” Dean looked at Cas incredulously.
Cas fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “I miss the Lincoln.”
“You what?”
“I know you hated it, but I loved driving that car and some of the mods they talked about on the videos reminded me of the hydraulics on the Lincoln and I just thought we could do it. Together.”
Dean blinked at Cas a few times, at a loss for words. “I’m not sure we can do much in a single weekend, Cas. But if it’s important, sure. We can work on it.”
Cas crashed into Dean with a hug that turned into a kiss that turned into a few minutes of making out.
“What was that for?”
“I didn’t think you’d say yes.”
Dean blushed. He hated thinking about how big of an asshole he’d been to Cas over so many trivial things. Well, he can’t fix the past but he’s been working hard at not being that guy anymore. “Sorry Cas. Can I ask you something though?”
“Of course.”
“Do you wanna look for a new Lincoln instead? I mean, obviously not a new Lincoln, but, like, another one?”
Cas tilted his head in consideration his arms still firmly encircling Dean. “No. I don’t think so.”
“Alright. What did you have in mind.”
“I really didn’t think we’d get this far.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to work on the truck?”
“No, I’m just savoring this.”
“What?”
“Having you. Knowing you’re mine and I’m yours. And that we’re going to take care of each other.”
“Well I shoulda taken care of you a long time ago. Been better for you.” Dean pressed his forehead to Cas’ forehead.
“There are reasons it didn’t work out that way. We’re here now.”
Dean and Cas stood together breathing and quiet. Dean’s thought swirled thinking of all that could have been if things were different, like if Mary hadn’t died or if John had died too. If he’d been brave enough to run away with Sammy, or if John had actually ditched them at Bobby’s for good. If he hadn’t left Sonny’s. If he’d figured out how to just exist in his own skin comfortably when he was twenty instead of still struggling with it in his forties. If he’d been honest about his feelings for Cas in Purgatory. Or any other time he found his angel again or before he’d ever lost him.
“Dean, you’re squashing me.”
Dean relaxed his hold a little. “Sorry Cas. Just thinking about those reasons.”
“I’m still not going anywhere.”
“Neither am I. But maybe…”
“Maybe what?”
“A little bit after Jack was born, but, uh, before you came back we had this case. With a shapeshifter.”
Cas looked at Dean expectantly, knowing not to rush him.
“Anyway, she was a good person. She helped people with, um, closure.”
“She was a therapist?”
“Sort of. Yeah.” Dean took a deep breath. “I was thinking, someone like her, she’s already part of our world. Maybe she could…help.”
“Help?”
“Help. We all know I’ve been carrying around all kinds of things in my head since I was four years old. And I don’t exactly have healthy coping mechanisms. Maybe she could be a chance to start working on some of that.”
“Would you being a hunter be a problem?”
“I don’t think so. Well, maybe, but we did help her get rid of her ex. He’d been killing her clients and stalking her. So she’d probably at least hear me out.”
“Are you going to call her?”
“Nah. Figure that the week after next, Sam and Eileen are taking Jack, so maybe road trip?”
“I’ll go with you.”
“We can still work on the truck this weekend.”
Cas kissed Dean on the cheek. “Can I show you my pinterest of truck improvements?”
“As you wish.” Dean hugged Cas tight. Maybe things could be okay. At the very least, it was time Dean tried something new.
I'm so sorry if it's just me, it feels like it is, but why are the beatles so hard to search for? They should be so perfectly archived and google should know what I mean when I say things.
Isn't there a quote from someone who was there on the mad day out about the closeness of the beatles, how together they were, particularly when all this was going on, or is it an invention of my fandom addled brain?
Also I know I've seen pictures of people taking this particular set of photos and I can't find that anywhere, how do I find that? Why is that not easily searchable, why doesn't google understand anything I say to it?
Edit: the thing! thanks be to @idontwanttospoiltheparty.
(Seriously though how is that not the first quote google gives you if you are googling mad day out and Tom Murray? I've read everything else he's ever said about that day and that quote is nowhere to be... oh I'm too tired to work out if it's a fake quote. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be, because fake quotes are usually super easy to find, and mccartneyiii is very trusty. Also, if it's not real it's still true, regardless of who wrote it.)
