muse development questions.
4. what seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?
inconsequential things to adults that their children remember for life, mostly. but aside from that can of worms: she remembers the very first time somebody mentioned, even just in passing, that they liked her hair. she remembers the first time she accidentally broke a plate in front of one of the faculty members, steeling herself, choking back a sob because flinching makes them angrier, but then being told that it was okay. she remembers, and still will remember, when others are kind to her in such tiny ways she is still foreign to.
9. how many friends does your character want?
when she was younger she knew not to ask for much. count varley did not allow her any, let alone those of commoner birth. if it had been up to her, she would have wanted at least one, and then for some time, she had only really had one―that was until her father had him beaten to near death after finding out, and bernadetta never saw that very first friend again. she still nurses a grave in her heart for him. he had shown her so many firsts, this sheltered countess-to-be, and she will never be the same again.
at the academy she wanted at least one friend again, maybe just enough friends to count on a hand, but she settles for faraway pining due to a number of reasons. even then it had felt greedy. now, she is more than happy with the few she wants to say she’s made―even now she doubts most of her relationships―but once in a while, bernadetta dreams again, fancying to make more friends of the people she meets. she’s still a defeatist at heart, though, and her self-perception obstructs most of her desires.