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first fight?
“Again-- that I can remember? I’m pretty sure my fists have been flying since I was in the womb. Realistically? My mom. But the first one I remember was...one of the social workers. She was a bitch.”
first crush
“Ew. I don’t know. I guess there was this guy named Jack in second grade. He like, ate ants and I thought that was just like, the raddest thing, I guess. I think I accidentally kicked him in the balls.”
first kiss
“Fuck, I don’t know. I was probably like, eleven? Twelve? It was at school. Behind a fucking dumpster. Where that memory belongs, I guess. I think his name was...Devon. Yeah. Weird experience. Never really talked to him again.”
first person you truly hated?
“I don’t-- I mean, I guess I remember, but I don’t know if they were the first. Just the first for as far back as my memory goes, right? Uh, but, like, it was this girl. In the orphanage. She was such a...I don’t know. A snitch, I guess. She’d wail about anything anyone did to her, even if it was an accident. She was the favorite at first, but it got to a point where they didn’t want to deal with her anymore. So that was cool. But, uh, before that...I don’t know. I did something to her-- can’t remember what, exactly. I did a lot of shit back then, I guess. Probably like, accidentally hit her, or something. But she got me in big shit because of it. And she did it all the time. Which only made me more mad, and made me want to do more shit to her, so it was like, this vicious circle. She left when we were like, eleven or twelve. Don’t know what happened to her, honestly. Hope she had a shitty life.”
first love
“My first swig of whiskey.”
12
12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.
Well, I can’t remember not having nightmares, so I don’t think this applies to me. Yay, I’m special.
15, 29, 33, 38
15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.
I’d have to say three things run for gold, here. When my mom adopted my two older brothers and we had our first holiday together and the giant dorks were actually in our house, and we kind of fucked around and it was amazing… There was when I was with Ellie on the beach after prom, you know? Like, I was so in love with her and she dressed up for me— we were a prince and a princess and we got away from the world for a weekend, and as we were falling asleep in the hotel room, just cuddling and watching disney movies, I just felt… warm all over, and happy, and—… perfect, and Christmas of this year, since — well. Robbie was home.
29: Talk about what turns you on.
We could revisit 17 year old me having the time of his fuckin’ life trying not to get turned on by everything in existence while dating the prettiest thing in the universe.
Or we could just talk about Chris Pine.
33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.
I’m never sad.
I run away. Or I just shut down.
38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
Ha. Haha. Am I not supposed to talk about Booty Man?