Enjoying your Game of Thrones explanations! Can you spill any tea for us about the Lannisters and What Even Is Their Deal?
What even IS their deal? Millions across Westeros want to know!
(Books spoilers, and content warning for sibling incest and discussion of violence)
[General Setting Post] [House Stark Post]
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH HOUSE LANNISTER, Part 1: (General info, Tywin, Cersei, Jaime's backstory)
HOUSE LANNISTER, Lords Paramount of the Westerlands! A true soap opera of a family! Drama queens and kings all!
The Westerlands just happen to be where all the gold mines in Westeros are, making the Lannisters fabulously, proverbially, wealthy.
House Sigil: A Golden Lion
House Colors: Red and Gold
House Words: Hear Me Roar.
House Seat: Casterly Rock
Just as House Stark is set up at the beginning of the story as the protagonists, House Lannister is very much set up as the antagonists. Our honorable Ned Stark distrusts them, they've seized a worrying amount of power at court, and there's only one Lannister PoV to the six (SIX!!) Stark PoVs in book 1. And said Lannister is the black sheep of the family at that.
1. Lord Tywin
The current Lord Lannister, as of Book 1, is Tywin Lannister. Tywin Lannister is many things: a harsh pragmatist, a brutal foe, a man obsessed with legacy. But perhaps most importantly for us, he’s a terrrrrrrrrrible dad. It turns out that when you raise your children to believe that family legacy is all that matters and everyone outside your family is a tool or an enemy…they don’t turn out great :/
Tywin’s big thing is that he wants capital-R Respect for House Lannister, which he believes comes from fear and an iron grip. His father Tytos “the Laughing Lion” Lannister was seen (at least by Tywin) as a weak lord who could be taken advantage of by the lesser houses. Tywin does not like laughing. Tywin REALLY does not like being laughed at. It’s kinda his whole thing.
One time House Reyne of Castermere made some trouble, so Tywin chased the entire family into a mine. Then he redirectd a river. To slowly drown them. Over hours. They wrote a song about it and everything. That’s Papa Tywin. Great start to the family!
1b. The Golden Twins
Two of the most famous – and infamous – figures in modern Westeros are Tywin’s Golden Twins, Cersei and Jaime. (Yes, people really call them that in universe.)
Cersei and Jaime are rich. They’re blond-haired and green eyed. They’re almost identical and used to swap clothes and children. They’re gorgeous – people routinely refer to them as the most beautiful man and woman in Westeros. They look like anime villains. They’re powerful. They’re bitchy. They’re sneering at you right now. They think they’re better than you. They’re utterly miserable. They’ve got a certain Team Rocket meets Flowers in the Attic je ne sais quoi that can’t be beat.
TRULY characters of all time.
2. Cersei Lannister
(Art by Amok)
Cersei Lannister is queen of Westeros, married to King Robert Baratheon. Said marriage is a disaster. For one thing, Robert’s still obsessed with Ned Stark’s dead sister, Lyanna. For another, he makes no secret of his sleeping around and he’s got (we assume) 16 bastard children. He's at least occasionally physically violent with her and the children. Genuinely a terrible husband!
Cersei, for her part, is carrying on an incestuous affair with her twin brother Jaime, and all three of her children are (unsurprisingly) perfect blond-haired, green-eyed Lannister xeroxes of the twins.
(In retrospect, this miiiiiiight not have been a smart political move.)
The crown is heavily in debt to the Lannister family, which gives them – and by extension, Cersei – an outsized amount of power in court. Still doesn’t make Cersei happy though.
By the time we meet Cersei, she’s had years to stew in resentments and paranoia. (This is especially true by the time she becomes a PoV character in Book 4.) She – completely understandably! – resents the social role she’s been forced into a woman, and envies the relative freedoms she attributes to Jaime and his life. She’s her father’s eldest child, having been born a few minutes before Jaime, but she cannot inherit his Lordship. Her father treats her marriage as a bargaining tool to be used without her consent, even when she’s a widow in her mid-thirties. And Tywin has always treated Jaime as his favorite child, despite him lacking Tywin’s own ambition and political savvy. Traits Cersei feels she has in abundance!
So Cersei becomes obsessed with the idea of herself as the heir to Tywin’s legacy; a great queen who will be remembered in history books to come.
Also, to be fair to her paranoia, people really are out to get her. Just…often not the people she thinks or in the way she thinks.
3a. Jaime Lannister
(Art by Amok)
Oh boy. Jaime. Jaime Jaime. Where do I even start on this guy. Like his siblings, he's a huge mess. Disaster of a man.
Ok. So.
Jaime Lannister is best known in Westeros by his epithet: THE KINGSLAYER. So to talk about Jaime, we have to talk about The Kingsguard. If you don’t want some lore, skip to the tl’dr at the end.
The Kingsguard is a group of seven elite knights – the best (at least in theory) the kingdoms have to offer. They swear a holy vow to serve and guard the king. For life. Like the men of the Night’s Watch, they may hold no lands or titles, father no children, take no wife. Service to the king (and royal family) is meant to be their entire raison-d’etre. No family for you! Your brothers of the Kingsguard are your only family now! Appointment to the Kingsguard is an incredible honor, one that all-but guarantees that your name lives on in history.
(It’s such a big deal that when Quentyn “Fireball” Ball was promised a future spot in the Kingsguard, he promptly forced his wife into a religious order so he could become eligible for the placement. Then when the king died before a spot opened and the next king was, uh, horrified by the wife thing and didn’t want to work with him, Ser Quentyn got so mad he joined a rebellion. But that’s an old story. Fuck Fireball, is all I’m saying.)
Anyway! When Jaime Lannister was 15, he was a sword-fighting savant. A clear generational talent. And he became the youngest knight ever to serve in the Kingsguard, in service to King Aerys Targaryen. You know. The one who there was that big rebellion against (see the world-building post).
(And here’s the thing about joining the Kingsguard. Huge honor! Honor to you! Honor to your family! Honor to your house!!! But it does make you ineligible for land or title. So. You know. Kind of an unspoken rule you maybe don’t pick eldest sons of major houses unless there’s another potential heir in the wings ready for the mantle. So Aerys picking Jaime was also a fuck you to Tywin, because he knows Tywin hates his second son. More on that in a minute.)
Robert’s Rebellion happens, and Aerys’ old buddy cum nemesis Tywin seems to be hanging back, not supporting either side, until Robert wins a decisive victory at the Trident, killing crown prince Rhaegar. Lord Tywin shows up with an army at King’s Landing and someone on the inside (maaaaybe his Kingsguard?) convinces King Aerys that this army is totally here to help! Let’s open the gates for them and let them in!!
Tywin’s army was not there to help. They sack the city on behalf of the rebellion. And when Ned Stark joins and fights his way to the Red Keep…he finds Aerys dead on the throne room floor, and his sworn Kingsguard, Jaime Lannister, sitting on the Iron Throne with the sword he used to stab his king in the back. Clearing the way for his father’s victory in the city.
(You can see why Ned maybe didn't trust this guy. Art by Michael Komarck.)
So. Yeah. Kingslayer. Not just a king, not just the king, but HIS king. The king he was sworn above all others to protect. And the fine folk of Westeros take that idea very seriously. He’s not just a murder or a traitor. He’s an oath-breaker, a man whose word means nothing, an affront against the gods themselves.
But here’s the thing: Kingsguard serve for life. And when a king dies, he inherits the Kingsguard. So Jaime Lannister’s still a sworn brother of the Kingsguard! Awesome! Everyone loves this and no one is angry about it. Obviously.
Tl;dr: Jaime swore an oath to serve and protect the king as one of his elite, trusted guard. He stood by while the king did horrible things, but then literally stabbed him in the back at a moment advantageous to his family. So now everyone calls him “Kingslayer” and cracks jokes every time he tries to make a promise.
(This got real long because lore, so next post I'll say a few words about current-day Jaime, and then the youngest Lannister sibling, Tyrion.)
Ok so this is a very broad ask but - who are the Starks and why are they all so deliciously miserable?
Great question! There are a lot of Starks and this got very long, so lets makes this The Starks (and why they're so deliciously miserable) pt. 1: General Info, and the Lord and Lady of the House (Ned and Cat). BIG BOOK 1 SPOILERS AHEAD. SO MANY. Milder/vague spoilers from books 2-5.
Quick reminder about the world:
The Seven Kingdoms has 9 major regions and 8 Great Houses that serve as the Lords Paramount in each region (plus the royal house as quasi Lords of the 9th region and Kings of Westeros.)
Educated people in-universe believe the world is fairly low-magic. Historical records of crazy magic events are considered either a) exaggerations or b) “things were different back in the old days.”
The Starks are the Great House, the Lords Paramount, of the North, ruling from the great castle keep of Winterfell. The North is big. It’s cold. It’s desolate. It’s far enough removed from everything happening in the South that they usually stay out of royal politics and do their own thing. But approximately 15 years ago, their family was at the heart of the crisis that sparked rebellion, and Eddard “Ned” Stark was the face of the rebellion, alongside his bff King Robert Baratheon.
House Sigil: The Direwolf
House Colors: Grey and White
House Words: “Winter is Coming”
What you have to know about the Starks is that the family is old. Old as balls. Older than recorded written history in Westeros. The Starks are blood of the First Men; they keep the Old Gods. Old gods worshiped in a grove of pale white trees with red leaves. And carved (?) faces. That seem to weep-blood red sap. They’re Always Watching You.
You get the aesthetic.
So reason number 1 the Starks are so miserable:
It’s traditional.
The Starks start Book 1 as the presumptive main character house. ASOIAF is told via a series of limited third-person PoVs, and house Stark has six, count ‘em, SIX out of the only eight PoVs in Book 1.
We'll start with Mr. Lord Stark himself, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North:
1. Eddard "Ned" Stark (PoV Character)
The Lord of Winterfell. Ned loves honor, honesty, more honor, and his family. Did I mention honor? That's a big thing. Doesn't like Lannisters, especially Jaime Lannister. Played by Sean Bean in the TV show, so you can imagine how things go for him.
WHY IS NED SO MISERABLE? Oh let me count the ways.
Ned was a second son who was never trained to inherit. But then, when poor Ned was just a teen, his beloved sister was abducted and his father and older brother went South to get her back. They never returned. On account of being executed by the Mad King.
So now terminally-second-son Ned has to honor his brother’s marriage alliance, help lead a rebellion, oh, and, rule all of the North as Lord of Winterfell. Good luck, little buddy.
Ned hates lying, and he’s almost certainly been living a daily lie about his “son” Jon Snow for 14 years. (see next post)
His bff King Robert is, it turns out, kinda bad at being King. This makes Ned sad :(
Ned hates politics, but his bff King Robert drags him to his court as an advisor and it goes SO SO BAD.
This poor guys is. Like. 34.
Since we're full on spoiling book 1... Ned finds out that the royal princes and princesses are bastards born of incest. This is very stressful, as you can imagine.
The fallout of this discovery is that King Robert is killed in a hunting """accident””” and Ned goes from presumptive main character to Very Very Dead. Because he's beheaded as a traitor. :( :(
This is, relatedly, a starting point for why all the other Starks are so miserable
WE MISS YOU, NED.
2. Catelyn Stark, nee Tully (PoV character):
Lady Catelyn is Ned’s wife, Lady of Winterfell, and daughter of the Lord Paramount of the Riverlands. It’s a tough contest, but I’m considering giving Cat the award for Most Miserable Stark. The poor woman is GOING THROUGH IT.
Why is Catelyn Stark so, so miserable?
She’s a daughter of the South and the North is so so cold.
She was supposed to marry Ned’s brother, but then he died.
(The first thing Ned did after he came home from the war, still basically a stranger, was tell her his bastard was going to live in their house. This is not as bad as the other stuff, but it stressed her out a lot.)
She grew to love Ned, and then he died.
SOMEONE (Jaime Lannister) pushed her eight-year old son out of a tower and then SOMEONE (ironically not Jaime Lannister) tried to stab him before he woke up, while Cat was still in the room.
Her loved ones keep being hurt and killed, all series long, no matter what she does
At one point she believes that 4 out of her 5 kids are dead. It's bleak out there.
SORRY EVERYTHING SUCKS, CAT.
There's no way to talk about Lady Stoneheart and her connection to Cat without MASSIVE book 3 spoilers and another wall of text. Let me know if you want to know about Lady Stoneheart. (She's the zombie-looking lady with scars around her eyes I've reblogged art of.)
Hey ASOIAF fandom pals, all 6 or so of you…where are we at vis-a-vis the theory that Daario “Stormcrow” Naharis = Euron “Crowseye” Greyjoy?
Is Daario secretly Euron?
Yes. There can only be so many blue-mouthed storm + crow themed guys out there.
No. Daario’s just this guy, you know?
No. Daario’s just a secret Blackfyre or Brightflame line Targaryen.
No. Daario has some OTHER wild secret. (Daario = Benjen truthers assemble?)
I have never thought about this before and I refuse to have an opinion now.
I just like clicking buttons (see results).
Voting ended onJun 14
My head still says it’s a whole lot of sailing for him to pull it off…but I just reread the Iron Islands Kingsmoot chapter (which rocks btw, sorry for not fully appreciating it on my first read through, George). And every time Euron mocks me, the reader, personally, about how fast his ships are……I wonder……..
(Where’d you get all that treasure, Crowseye? Was it from the sieges of Yunkai and Mereen???)
pioup-pioup Replied to your post “A short list of ASOIAF names I cannot take...”
Not to take away from Jonothor, but there's a gay prince consort situation in Targaryen past?
Kind of! It's unclear how official it was and we don't have a lot of info on their situation, but we know a few things at least.
The prince in question is Egg's third son, Daeron. He was supposed to marry Olenna Tyrell, back when she was Olenna Redwyne:
"The Baratheons have always had some queer notions, to be sure. It comes from their Targaryen blood, I should think." [Olenna] sniffed. "They tried to marry me to a Targaryen once, but I soon put an end to that." - ASOS, Sansa I
Ser Barristan later seems to blame Daeron himself for the match failing, and comments on how all three of Egg's sons refused political matches and married for love:
Prince Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna, and thousands died for it. Daemon Blackfyre loved the first Daenerys, and rose in rebellion when denied her. Bittersteel and Bloodraven both loved Shiera Seastar, and the Seven Kingdoms bled. The Prince of Dragonflies loved Jenny of Oldstones so much he cast aside a crown, and Westeros paid the bride price in corpses. All three of the sons of the fifth Aegon had wed for love, in defiance of their father's wishes. And because that unlikely monarch had himself followed his heart when he chose his queen, he allowed his sons to have their way, making bitter enemies where he might have had fast friends. Treason and turmoil followed, as night follows day, ending at Summerhall in sorcery, fire, and grief. - ADWD, The Kingbreaker
Summerhall mention :( :( :(
Anyways, the first two of Egg's sons are well covered by main series canon. The eldest, Duncan the Small (aka the Prince of Dragonflies), married the commoner Jenny of Oldstones and renounced his succession rights to be with her. (He was engaged to marry the daughter of Lyonel Baratheon, aka the Laughing Storm, and the breach between the Crown and Storm's End led to a brief Baratheon rebellion.)
The next son, Jaehaerys II, married his sister, Shaera, restarting Ye Olde Targaryen incest tradition to the disappointment of Everyone Else (especially his parents). Jaehaerys also forced his kids Aerys II and Rhaella to wed each other (maybe for Prince That Was Promised prophecy reasons) and we all know how that turned out. (So very very bad.)
BUT!!! We have to look at A World of Ice and Fire to find more about the third son, Daeron. It turns out that according to the Maesters, Daeron never married anyone:
Corrupted by the example of his brothers, even King Aegon's youngest son Prince Daeron vexed his father in like manner. Though betrothed to Lady Olenna Redwyne of the Arbor when both of them were nine, Prince Daeron repudiated the match in 246 AC, when he was eighteen...though in his case, there appears to have been no other woman, for Daeron remained unwed throughout the remainder of his short life.
So what was Ser Barristan on about? Enter ✨Jeremy✨:
A born soldier who rejoiced in tournament and battle, [Daeron] preferred the companionship of Ser Jeremy Norridge, a dashing young knight who had been with the prince since the two of them were squires together at Highgarden. Prince Daeron brought to his father, Aegon, an altogether deeper sort of grief when he was killed in battle in 251 AC, leading an army against the Rat, the Hawk, and the Pig. Ser Jeremy died at his side, but the rebellion was quashed, and the rebels slain or hanged.
Barristan served both Aegon V and Jaehaerys II, so if there was a non-official wedding for Daeron and ✨Jeremy✨ he'd probably know about it. But he also could have been speaking loosely and just meant that Daeron chose love over marital politics.
You know which Egg-lette did marry for politics? The youngest daughter, Rhaelle, who married Ormund Baratheon! Their son Steffon Baratheon was, of course, the father of Robert, Stannis, and Renly. And that’s why Robert could vaguely make a claim to the throne (after killing all his Targaryen cousins).
GOTTA make a Brienne card. How else can Jaime arrange them in ranked order (by his complicated score system grading feats, strength, agility, speed, and general coolness)?
Brienne, called the Maid of Tarth.
FEATS:
Won the grand tourney at Bitterbridge, defeating Red Ronnet Connington and Ser Loras Tyrell, the Knight of Flowers, among many other noble knights.
Admitted to Renly Baratheon’s Rainbow Guard at the age of nine and ten, the first woman to be so honored by any king or claimant.
Defeated Ser Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer, in single combat.
Stayed her hand from slaying said knight, even when he was very annoying.
Kept the Kingslayer from a death of despair following his maiming by Vargo Hoat, the Goat of Qarth.
Bit the ear off of Vargo Hoat, the Goat of Qarth, leading to his subsequent illness and inability to defend himself in battle.
Has astonishing blue eyes.
Comments:
“My friend was at Bitterbridge and he said the Maid of Tarth totally cheated in the melee :/ Just saying :/” – Renly4King
“Lolol fake card fake feats. Everyone knows The Mountain that Rides killed the Goat.” – 2Red2Griffin
“Clegane only got him because of the sepsis. The Mountain’s too slow to catch the Goat otherwise. Still counts as a feat.” – GoldenHand266
“Whatever OP, she’s not even hot.” -2Red2Griffin
“Hey prev :) DM me your address :) I just want to talk :)” – GoldenHand266
My favorite thing* about Jaime and Brienne's duel in ASoS is how BOTH of them come away from the fight absolutely shaken by their opponent.
Especially on Jaime's side it, would be so easy for him to just excuse it as a fluke because of his chains and year of imprisonment. Indeed, that's how Brienne sees it! But nope, he's just floored by the fact that she's stronger than him, and fast and skilled enough he can't run rings around her. Which is what he expected, even with the chains and muscle loss.
(*Yes, ok, Jaime narrating the duel in a weirdly sexy way is a close second. I bet he does that for every (good) sword fight. He's so horny for (literal) swords. Love that for him.)
Jaime while getting his ass kicked by the Maid of Tarth:
Grunting, she came at him, blade whirling, and suddenly it was Jaime struggling to keep steel from skin. One of her slashes raked across his brow, and blood ran down into his right eye. The Others take her, and Riverrun as well! His skills had gone to rust and rot in that bloody dungeon, and the chains were no great help either. His eye closed, his shoulders were going numb from the jarring they'd taken, and his wrists ached from the weight of chains, manacles, and sword. His longsword grew heavier with every blow, and Jaime knew he was not swinging it as quickly as he'd done earlier, nor raising it as high.
She is stronger than I am.
The realization chilled him. Robert had been stronger than him, to be sure. The White Bull Gerold Hightower as well, in his heyday, and Ser Arthur Dayne. Amongst the living, Greatjon Umber was stronger, Strongboar of Crakehall most likely, both Cleganes for a certainty. The Mountain's strength was like nothing human. It did not matter. With speed and skill, Jaime could beat them all. But this was a woman. A huge cow of a woman, to be sure, but even so... by rights, she should be the one wearing down.
Instead she forced him back into the brook again, shouting, "Yield! Throw down the sword!"
Not "she's stronger than me because of the malnourishment." No, she goes straight into the Robert Baratheon + Arthur Dayne category.
And then Brienne thinking about it in AFFC...
Brienne remembered her fight with Jaime Lannister in the woods. It had been all that she could do to keep his blade at bay. He was weak from his imprisonment, and chained at the wrists. No knight in the Seven Kingdoms could have stood against him at his full strength, with no chains to hamper him. Jaime had done many wicked things, but the man could fight!
(I also appreciate that Brienne, correctly, doesn't take that as any slight on her own skills. She knows she's good! Jaime's just once-in-a-generation good. No knight in the Seven Kingdoms could have stood against him, etc.)
It's a crime that Jaime couldn't see the melee at Bitterbridge. He would have had SUCH a good time watching Brienne and Loras fight.
Yes please explain to me who these people are, the art looks fun and I need to be reassured none of them are actually Strahd in disguise (the only details i know about the whole universe is how they did the dragon scale smocking in the show, so feel free to make up some bits as well just for fun)
I have to make this its own, separate post, where I reassure you that 99.9% of ASOIAF characters are certainly not Strahd in disguise.
There's just. This one guy. One of the WORST guys, if you will, in a series full of terrible guys:
(From the wiki of ice and fire; art by Bella Bergolts)
His name is Roose Bolton. He flays people. His house sigil is a flayed man and their words are "Our Knives Are Sharp". He makes the color pink extremely scary. People call him “The Leech Lord.”
He is 100% a secret undead skin-stealer and maybe vampire, I know it in my heart. (There’s almost no canon evidence of this, but I believe it so deeply.)
For easy cross-reference, here is DnD Vampire Dreadlord Strahd von Zarovich:
