I think one of the hardest parts of being autistic and really good at masking, and learning to work with my adhd without medication is that sometimes shit happens in life that throws you off course and off your routine (like maybe a global pandemic being managed very poorly in many parts of the world) and you’re like “omg what is happening! Oh...right.”
It’s usually very easy for me to “forget” my autism and adhd. I built my life around coping mechanisms that helped me function at a high level.
This makes it that much harder when things happen to upset that routine. I find myself clinging to some semblance of structure while feeling a lot like when Sheldon Cooper didn’t have his haircut when he wanted it and decided the world was nothing but chaos and entropy and nothing matters in the end because where is the consequence?
Motivation is hard to come by when I don’t have a current obsessive hobby I can throw myself into and nothing I try is good enough for me to really engross myself in so I’m just jumping from one thing to the next and getting increasingly discouraged by nothing really grabbing hold.
On the plus side, apparently my writer’s block disappears when I’m in this state so here’s hoping I manage to finish writing this damn book before homeostasis sets in.
