#asshatry

[cockslutpadalecki]

Heyo. It’s @i-am-negan-trash. Can I have Why Can’t I by Liz Phair? I love that song. Congrats on 4.5k!

hey lovely! yes yes yes, you most certainly can, i love it too. i can’t wait to see what you come up with 🖤

[pedrospascaled]

Thank you loves! I very much appreciate your kind wishes <3 You both rock! :D 

[crzcorgi]

Negan’s Christmas Joy

a personalized Negan fic for @asshatry

Warnings ~ A bit of Negan fun, so NSFW

  “Fat Joseph!” Goddamn if that fat fucker could run when it came to food. I needed to ask if he’d seen you, but the asshole already disappeared into the dining hall.

 Luckily I spotted Dwight before I had entered the hall. “D, have you seen Lauren?”

 “Yes sir, she’s helping with the kids.” He gave me his crooked smile then spoke up hesitantly. “Merry Christmas”

 After thanking the scarfaced fucker I moved quickly to the nursery. I told you time and time again that you are my wife, my only wife now. And there is no need for you to fucking step foot anywhere else but our fucking bedroom. It looks like we are going to have to have a little talk again.

 As I stepped into the open doorway, I spotted you. You had a little girl on your shoulders so she could hang up some lights. I could hear you both, singing one of those fucking old time Christmas songs, giggling because you couldn’t remember the words. I don’t do fucking sappy, but shit baby girl, if I didn’t wish for a more innocent time for you.

 I left the doorway to clear some shit from my throat when Simon came up.

 “Got a shitload of stuff from the pond community. Guess they learned from last time boss man. First pick? There’s some things you might enjoy.”

 “Great, I could use some fucking good news Simon. Lead the way my man.”

 I followed Simon down to warehouse, fucking surprised to see Simon was correct, it was the mother-fucking-lode. I strolled around to see a bit of everything, things I never thought I’d see since the end. Board games, old magazines, bathing suits, razors. Then I spotted them. I fucking rushed over before any of the other fuckers grabbed them. Freakin fucking lingerie, perfume and other girly shit I didn’t have a clue about. I just knew you’d love it babe.

 After scooping that shit up, I headed up to our room. Jesus, I was fucking buzzing. When you stepped into our room, I was smiling like a fucking kid on Christmas, which, I guess, I fucking kinda was.

 “I know it’s not wrapped or shit, but Merry Christmas sweetheart!” I placed all the fucking goodies I’d found down on the bed, stepping back to watch you checking them out. You didn’t say much, just sorting through it, making me worried that you weren’t pleased with my find as much as I was. So I was quite surprised when you turned, throwing yourself into my arms.

 “They’re wonderful Negan! Just perfect! I haven’t painted my nails in months, and I can share some of this with the little girls in the school room and maybe I can…”

 “Hold on baby girl! These are for you  I know how fucking kind you are, but shit Lauren, I want you to enjoy something, have something all to yourself. Okay?”

 You hugged me tightly, your oh so fucking sweet smelling head tucked under my chin.

 “Okay, Negan. I’m gonna go try something on! Be right back!”

 You flew into the bathroom and I waited not so patiently for your return.

 When you emerged from the bathroom, I sucked in a huge breath. Fuck baby girl, you simply took my breath away. You had this little flimsy dress like thingy on, I could see the tiny thong you were wearing underneath, your tits looking so damn fine bursting up from the lacy top.

 “Get that fine ass over to me babe, now!”

 I pulled you into me, my hands coming up to grasp your face, our lips meeting in an overheated kiss. I moved my hands back down to grasp your ass, urging you into my arms. I carried you over to the bed, gently dropping you. As you climbed up towards the head, I made fucking quick work of my clothes.

 “Take me Negan. I need you.”

 Your whispers causing my dick to twitch. “Fuck sweetheart, you don’t have to ask me twice!” I climbed up the bed soon straddling you. I slid my hands under your nightgown, clutching your panties and pulling them down in one quick yank.

“I’m not playing the fuck around baby girl. I apologize right now.” And in one swift move I was fully seated inside you. Your gasps and moans just making me more sure of every movement I made.

 As much as I loved when we fucked in fucking strange places, positions, this was my favorite. Just us in our bed, my eyes on you the whole time. Drinking in the pleasure I was giving you, your gorgeous brown eyes, changing shades, going big, closing tightly. I kept up my forceful thrusts, knowing just the right angle to make you groan.

 I leaned down, our faces so close. “I love you baby girl, you are my favorite Christmas present ever.”  Letting our lips find each other, my tongue entering. I began thrusting even harder, both my dick and tongue taking charge of your body. You were all mine in this time and place. My fucking good girl.

 I could feel you beginning to near your end, your sweet soft walls twitching around my cock. Bringing one hand down between our overheated bodies, I pulled the cloth down from your breast, my mouth finding a nipple, sucking, nipping.

 I then moved downward, my fingers discovering your swollen nub and delicately tweaking it. That was all it took, I felt you tighten around me, your legs shaking, your hands gripping me tightly, one making its way into my hair, pulling.

 “OHHHHHH NEGAN!!!!!”

 “I’ve got you Lauren.” I met my end almost as quickly, my jerks and thrusts coming faster, harder. I pounded into you, your head bouncing up off of the pillow. As your pussy contracted around my cock, milking me dry, I pulled you into me tightly, rolling over to bring you on top, not wanting to collapse on you.

 “I’ve got you sweetheart.” I soothed you thru the shakes and shivers, pulling you impossibly closer. We must have laid like that for quite awhile, the light coming thru the windows slowly dimming.

  Yawning, you tilted your face up.  “Thank you Negan, for taking care of me, all of us. And most especially, for loving me. Merry Christmas.”

 “Thank you baby girl, for loving me, even when I’m a fucking asshole, as you’ve told me.” I laughed, looking down to see you were sound asleep.

Thank you for a very Merry Christmas, Lauren.

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Hello, gorgeous! I would like to take the Beauty and the Beast prompt. Also, I'll be posting it onto my sideblog again (i-am-negan-trash) and I think I'll do a 3 part series like I did with Red. Thanks for hosting another writing challenge!!!

Beauty & the Beast is yours! If this Trilogy is anything like Red, we are all in for a fabulous treat! :D

[bigbleedingheart]

This is @asshatry’s political side blog. 

If you follow me for my feminism posts, liberal posts, anti-trump posts, black lives matter posts, etc... I’ll be posting those things on this blog.

Asshatry will just be my shitpost blog now. 

[lasshatry]

Virginia is a game that makes you question EVERYTHING. 

[crzcorgi]

For @asshatry. If you want more (smut/no smut), just let me know! 😘

   Good fuckity fuck, I can’t believe I’m doing this, that you are doing things to me that I haven’t fucking felt since before the world’s end.

 Babe, you amaze me. We come into your community ready to take charge, and you, you wouldn’t have none of that.

 “Excuse me, can I help you gentlemen”  You were standing there, at the front gate, one hand on your hip, other on a Ruger.

 You looked delicate, sweet, innocent. Goddamn if I wasn’t totally off the fucking mark.

 “Well, well, you are migh-ty sweet, doll! Can you take me to the man in charge?” I gave you my infamous lip-lick wink.

 You crossed your arms, tilting your head. “That would be me, the woman in charge. What do you want with me?”

“Woohoo, doll! You have certainly have a pair of beach ball sized lady nuts!”

  We soon came to an agreement between our communities that we both fucking agreed on. I might have made a few concessions, I mean, babe, mm-hmm. But when I suggested we might seal the deal with a bit of fuckity lovin’ fun…

 “Excuse me? Did you just proposition me? I believe you have a harem, correct?”

 “Well, darlin’, I do, in fact, have wives, but it’s the apocalypse, and Jesus doll, you are fucking fine! The things we could do to…”

  Holy fuck! No quicker than I had those words out of my mouth, you had your pistol pointed right at my fucking dick! Jesus, babe!

 I think that’s when I realized the fucking feelings I had for you. I had never met a woman like you, even before the end. Yes, I knew many assertive, strong women, including my sweet Lucille. But you, you are something different. Sugar and sweet. Hot and cold. Night and day, you get the point.

 I’ve talked to a few of your people, some of the other communities you’ve worked with. Every one say the same thing. You, are a force to be reckoned with. You rule with an iron fist and a kind heart. Something I would never be accused of.

 So, I’m coming to you darling, with a proposition. Come, rule my kingdom with me. Be my queen, be my fucking partner in crime. I love you. Yep, I said it. It’s more than just your fucking super hot body. It’s more than your fuck you attitude. It’s what you make me feel when we’re together, or fuck, even when we’re apart.

 I want to know everything about you. I want to explore your mind. And God! Good God how I want to fucking explore that body of yours. Every inch, head to toe, and every sexy hot inch in-between. Hmm, I’m fucking hard as steel just thinking of you.

 And I promise, it will be just you, just me, both physically and emotionally. I know my word might not mean much, but trust me babe, you are what I want for today, tomorrow and forever.

I’m fucking crazy for you doll.

Negan

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Hey darling! Can I get red lipstick? I'll be posting onto my I-am-Negan-trash blog.

Yes, you can definitely have that prompt! For some reason, stupid tumblr won’t let me tag your asshatry blog, so I think that’s why i just tagged your negan blog in the post :)