HI LIV!! HOW IS YOUR DAY HOW ARE YOU!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! for the directors cut thing...i was wondering if you could talk a little bit abt the role of james in and still the fire burns xx because i just loved the sort of part he played there in that its a jily fic but actually its not? because most importantly its a lily fic...its about her growth and her internal conflicts and her identity...and yet james and the romance between them is so wonderfully present...was that always like. the plan? for the fic to be about lily first and foremost and to explore her and james that way? or did it sort of become that over time? do any of these questions make sense? i dont know xx (also anything you can say at all about remus and sirius...you know how i weep and wail when they turn up in your writing...) MWAH!!
HELLO LOVELY!!! I AM WELL - worked all weekend but got out of classes early today so took a well-needed nap! HOW ARE YOU!! how's halloween on the other side of the world!!!
answer under the cut i am. so sorry. i am so sjrry
FANTASTIC question!! the thing with astfb is considering it was my first *actual* canon fic, i wanted it to be... essentially perfect. obviously, it is not, but i am still very pleased with how it came out! anyway, as a result of that it went through several drafts.
when i first began the story, i honestly had no idea where i was going with it. the summary was actually sort of the basis i tried to keep it centered around cause i had that jotted down in my notes since. probably last year. and originally when i had written it, i thought it would be more of a light-hearted, happy fic centered more around the boys and all their shenanigans. but! after lots of re-writing and shifting things around into places that fit or getting rid of them altogether, you can find that that is not exactly what happened!
so, to answer your actual question, it definitely wasn’t my initial intention to focus solely on lily!
to be completely honest, when i first began writing, my ideas on her were still somewhat vague and certainly not as solid as they are now after exploring her character more thoroughly. and actually, i think i did try to sort of fight writing her perspective and do james’ instead but that... would not happen (she’s insistent like that).
as i wrote and slowly got the hang of lily, i realized that, actually, i hadn’t included much of james at all. everything i was writing was a study on her character, and her alone, more than anything else.
once that was put together, from there it was like okay, this is gonna be lily’s story; and then, it’s gonna focus on her and her relationships more than anything else — james is obviously the big one but you’ll see petunia and snape are also scattered throughout, even if it’s only a passing thought (did this especially bc i think it’s these three relationships of hers that really play a significant role in who she is as a character).
over time, i think that subconscious thought had already been there from including smaller scenes that basically gave a small insight into how lily viewed james (and how he was) through the years (unreliable narrator woohoo!!). like, for example, our first introduction of james reveals that he was the one who had the idea of sending lily the book full of condolences after her dad died. and then in the great hall after the first attacks in february, their eyes catch and despite everything that’s going on, lily still has it in her to think about the sweet small moment they had in transfiguration the week prior.
with it being a non-linear timeline, you aren’t exactly given the full story all at once. like, reading that latter example, you won’t know that lily’s actually been noticing james (‘The final, a secret: this one, fresh as potted plants on a windowsill, edges yellowing ... Her eyes flit. The boy with glasses is grinning, saying something wild.’ — this is revealed at nearly the end of the story) or how they sat in the quiet of the common room before christmas hols a few months ago until, sometimes, much later.
SORRY this got so long i am genuinely flushed in embarrassment but the short, redundant answer is: it wasn’t the original plan for the main focus to be on lily, but pretty quickly i realized that - that’s what it was going to be whether i liked it or not. then, once this epiphany struck many drafts later, that’s how i knew i was going to explore lily and james’ relationship: in small bits that don’t overshadow lily’s actual story and character.
and as for remus and sirius!!
so, my personal hc (at least for the sake of this fic) is that sirius and remus don’t officially get together until some time in seventh year (i usually picture the prank taking place the spring of fifth year, so it being sixth year still, i imagine it’s still a bit of a tense topic between the two).
but, obviously, they are pining like fools off screen — which lily does notice btw (they hardly spoke a word in divination until some time in december!! sirius will tilt back on his chair legs and watch remus when he’s engaged in his work!!).
“It sounds very nearly like he’s your lover, the way you go on about him,” Lily interrupts.
James’ head snaps to her and then he is turning back to doodle on his parchment, laughing. “Nah,” he says, “couldn’t handle him, me. He needs someone with a bit more… head.”
“Ah.”
“But he is great. Once you get past the whole… him aspect of it.” He glances up, a grin making its way to his lips. Lily looks away, blinking rapidly.
really wish i could give you more on them but! in this scene, i imagine james isn’t nearly as oblivious as he seems and definitely knows both r and s are absolutely mad for each other. and that, like he said, s needs someone who’s a bit more solemn, who can take him down a notch when needed. once they’re closer, he and lily regularly talk about it. one day they even catch the two of them sitting near the black lake, remus on his back with his arm over his eyes, laughing; oblivious to sirius watching him like it’s his only goal in life to make remus laugh.
hi hello!! ⭐️ for the ask game - maybe something from and still the fire burns? what was the hardest part to write, what was your favorite!!! i want to know!
hiii brynn!! anything for you <3
this got SO long and i’m so sorry about it. under the cut xoxo
hardest scene:
so, with and still the fire burns, by far the duel scenes were the hardest things i've ever written. the second one more than the first, i think. no one tells you how to balance the action and description and feelings!!! and there i went writing nearly 2k words of just that!!
anyway, yeah the second dueling scene was especially difficult cause this was the part of the story where all of lily's fears, her self-doubt, everything that's kept her up at night, come together.
The problem with living is you often forget. You often forget the horrors climbing the walls, hiding in portraits, seeping past like wisps of smoke.
this scene is bookended by two very light-hearted, happy scenes. the whiplash was intentional (sorry). the whole purpose of this story is for lily to persist, to keep on living despite all the things coming her way telling her maybe she... shouldn't. unfortunately, as the first line implies: when things are good, you forget the bad. (lily is human. she's a teenage girl. she's found fantastic friends, is maybe falling in love, is finally deservedly content... and then this.) it comes at you full force. but even so, there's still so so much good. and despite this absolutely awful experience lily endured, she still finds a way to persevere. cause she's awesome like that.
a bit of a tangent, but: i also intentionally had lily miscalculate the situation, counting three voices when there were actually four. i think there's a sort of instinct sometimes when writing these kinds of scenes (saying this as if i know anything) to have your character be essentially.. perfect? and that'd be great. but the fact of the matter is this is only lily's second duel outside of the classroom. she's caught off guard and tired of constantly being on guard in the first place and completely utterly terrified. this was calculated, the odds aren't in her favor completely. she won't be perfect.
i also knew exactly what the set-up looked like in this scene but for whatever reason, i couldn't find the right words to actually describe it for the reader, making it even harder. and then, y'know, pretending like i know how magic works too.
finally, this scene ends with:
Tears sting at the edges of Lily’s vision. “You forget,” she sneers. “We hold magic too.”
She stuns him still.
lily is fucking furious that it's even come to this. and if she's got to drill this point into the purists' heads, that she is just as powerful as they are, "different" blood or not, then so fucking be it. this ending is what made the struggle of this scene worth it, i think. she is that bitch!
favorite scene:
my favorite scene was probably the one before they were let out for the Christmas holidays, sat in the common room. the picture of it was already fully formed in my brain—the seating arrangement, the tree glinting in the corner—so when it came to, it was actually really easy to write.
it's also a really delicate scene, i think? it felt very soft and quiet — there's a certain peace to it. i really liked how, although it was a flashback in a sense, you could still sense the pivotal shift. and the scene immediately afterward is lily and james' first meeting on the quidditch pitch, which was a big pivotal moment too.
in a way, i think the common room scene is more of a mental pivotal moment (lily having this sort of sudden, quiet realization that 'oh. he's different this time around.') while the quidditch scene afterward is this realization coming to fruition in an actual act (lily allowing her thoughts on him to be more than just thoughts. if that makes sense.)
a little fun thing i added, i'm not totally sure if anyone picked up on:
In the meantime, the room slowly filtered out of students, the evening catching on as the moon peeked its way through the window: oh, hello.
and
The morning promises transformation. It smells like renewal.
“Oh. Hello.”
it's not meant to be super obvious or anything, but i liked the sort of tether it strings across these two scenes. that the flashback had purpose and wasn't completely random.
surprise! the string is long. it connects here a little too:
A gust of breath and straightening of shoulders, Lily didn’t give herself enough time to doubt before walking over to the armchair nearest to the warmth of the blazing fire. “Hello,” she said as she sat.
James looked up at her voice. His brows furrowed slightly, bewilderment followed by hesitation written across his face. Then, “Hi.”
in this scene (common room), james is caught off guard. in the one following, lily is. i was gonna say something more eloquent about lily being the one to approach james here and then vice versa but i've lost my train of thought but... parallels people!!!!
Liv, I can't thank you enough for And Still The Fire Burns. I don't know how 2 tell you I wanted and needed this exact fic , it's like you answered my prayers by writing it. I love it so very much I've already read it 4 times. You are brilliant and I'm just so so happy I found it. I LOVE UR BAMFlily my goddd what a read this was !!!!!!!
FOUR TIMES????? i am. gobsmacked, frankly. and utterly awestruck of you! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! i’m so happy i could answer your prayers and that you loved it so!! bamf!lily is the only lily ever as far as i’m aware so i’m ecstatic she’s come across well!! thank you again sweetness, you are too good to me <33
you, you are going to kill me. I’m sorry but everything about you makes me want you to be my friend. and your writing,, heavenly omg. I read and still the fire burns literally just now and I’m abt to literally SCREAM in your comment section abt how absolutely beautiful your writing and literally everything is so, I thought I’d tell you here that I have a emerqldv shaped blob in my heart which makes me love your writing a billion times more than I already do. anw i love your writing and I hope you’re proud of yourself.
come off anon right now so i can give you a big fat KISS oh my GOODNESS !!!!! this is so so nice i am literally going insane in my bedroom right at this moment. THANK YOU FOR READING!! i’m beyond ecstatic you enjoyed it so!!!! and we are literally best friends anon just from this. baking u a pie and kissing u on the cheek, we are literally forehead to forehead <3 AH! cant get over this you are the sweetest in the world, anon!! kisses and hugs and all the love to you <3 XOXO
