Name: Astro-Lanceur
Debut: Super Mario Odyssey
MOLLUSKS.... IN... SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!
I don’t know about you, but I am SO glad that cephalopods are as prominent as they are in popular culture. SpongeBob has cephalopods. Mario has cephalopods. And Splatoon? That game’s all about cephalopods! It’s Cephalopod Saturday over here!
As we know, cephalopods, and octopuses in particular, are some of the smartest creatures on earth. As a result of this, they were one of the first animals to make it into space! When we first landed on the moon, octopi were already there, gloating at us. “Haha, you silly humans!” they said, “You think you’re so smart, but you were no match for us, the octopodes!” And they were right. When Neil “Man on the Moon” Armstrong returned to Earth, he gave the rest of us the bad news that the octopus had already won, and that they were our true masters...
...What? You don’t remember reading about that in the history books? They call it the Space Race! It all happened! Have you been forgetting to worship your eight-legged overlords today? Shame on you!
Well thank goodness, Super Mario Odyssey is here to the rescue. With the introduction of Astro-Lanceur, we now have a kind and helpful reminder of our crippling octopus defeat imbued in a wonderful Mario game! Whenever you make it to the Moon Kingdom, you will see that the Astro-Lanceurs are already there, much like what happened in real life! Astro-Lanceurs, being the territorial enemies that they are, will fire MORE mollusks at you, probably some sort of snail, but we can’t tell, because it’s hiding in its shell. C’mon, projectile mollusk! Show us the goods! (i.e., the eyestalks)
As a reference to how real-world octopuses remain undefeated in their conquest of the stars, Astro-Lanceurs are pretty tough to defeat themselves, needing a ground pound instead of any ol’ jump. Combined with the floaty moon physics and their OWN floating, defeating an Astro-Lanceur can take a bit of precision. Can you take it? Or will you crack, and give up on Mario forever? The choice is yours...
Astro-Lanceur is a smaller version of a boss seen earlier in the game named Mollusque-Lanceur, who terrorizes the Seaside Kingdom by sipping away at its sparkling water. This is a reference to the real-world octopus conquest of France.
Have you remembered to make a blood sacrifice to your octopus rulers today? Let us know in the comments below!