Title: Pit-bottom
Relationships: Lisbeth/Sinon; Lisbeth/Asuna (kinda)
Fandom: Sword Art Online
Word Count: 1797
Summary: Lisbeth thinks about what love is. Different times in her life bring her to different definitions.
Notes: Made for SAO Pride Week 2019 - Day 5: Past, Present and Future. I’ve had so many conversations as to why I interpret Lisbeth as a victim of compulsive heterosexuality that it was only a matter of time until I wrote something that delved into it at least a tiny bit. Thanks to @thegayfromrulid for beta reading.
AO3 Link
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Lisbeth was 16 years old and at pit-bottom, figuratively and literally.
“You’re alive,” the boy in black says.
That much was true.
That morning, she wondered if that day would’ve been the day she’d rack up enough Col for a second waterwheel. That seemed like a meaningless worry at that moment, as she stared upwards, the foggy canvas of the sky framed by the walls of the hole she and Kirito had fell in.
The cold was oppressive and all-enveloping down there, but it paled in comparison to the still-settling realization as the teleportation crystal ignored her commands:
She was going to die in that pit.
It was so, so unfair. She did everything right. She stuck to the middle floors. She took to the mostly-civilian lifestyle of a blacksmith and enabled those that’d fight for her liberation. She grew her modest alleyway business into a legitimate shop, and she could feel pride whenever she saw her name emblazoned on that copper sign by its entrance.
All of this was made while latching onto the hope that she’d survive this game and go back to the real world.
And now I’m going to die because I insisted in tagging along with this weirdo.
There were so many things she hadn’t done yet. She wanted to hear her name being announced during roll-call at her graduation ceremony. She wanted to see the Tokyo Skytree. She was considering coursing Engineering at college, despite the demanding entry requirements.
She wanted to kiss someone, just once.
Ah, she thought. I didn’t even get to fall in love, did I?
While they prepared their sleeping bags, she mused for a moment over whom she would fall for had she the chance to so, and wasn’t bound to waste away in icy demise. Shinichi from Class 1-B at her school was cute. Sawamura from her class was okay too, she thinks. Even then, she’d been trapped in Aincrad for over a year, so they’re probably a grade above her now. A shame, really. Rumor has it that Sawamura was a good kisser.
Asuna’s smile flashed in her mind as she catalogued boys, and something in her jolts.
Is Asuna a good kisser?
That was an odd thought. Asuna wasn’t a boy.
As panic subsided and she came to terms with her predicament (Kirito’s words, despite his stoic tone, assuaged her fears), her mind stopped wandering too far out. She was stuck down there with this boy she’d met only hours prior, and the world seemed to shrink as the hours went by: there’s nothing beyond this pit, towering walls of frost and cold floor of snow, and him, roguish charm encased in dark leather.
She hungers for warmth, for touch, for romance, for other things she didn’t get to have due to this game. For the opportunities that were stripped away from her. Her sleeping bag, these clothes, can’t keep her warm. She knows they’re nothing but strewn data, calculating code colder than the surrounding ice.
These won’t do.
It has to be someone, her mind finally registers.
He was the only thing there, other than herself, that was in any way warm. She asked him to hold her hand, and he did. It was a sensation, real and cozy, that she’d seldom experienced in a world of uncaring numbers.
The closest she’d ever had to this feeling, she realized, came from Asuna’s embrace, casual, deliberate, and always so soothing.
As sleep overtook her and her eyes droop closed, she thought of how worried her best friend must have been for her.
*
*
*
At the following sunrise, she wasn’t dead.
In fact, Lisbeth felt very much alive.
She was sent heavenwards while in the arms of this boy, Kirito, his skin brushing against hers, adrenaline and fire rushing in her veins, inferno of emotion hurling through the sky.
She was invincible in that moment, young and unafraid. Everything about it felt so right. That endless thrill, that beautiful sunset born from the parting of clouds: all coalescing into a book-worthy moment.
That must be what love is. That burning in her chest. Lisbeth was sure of it.
With wind howling in her ears, she decided that she was just going to say it.
“Kirito! You know, I…”
“What?!”
“I love you, Kirito!”
He couldn’t hear her ecstasy-fueled confession, and a part of her was happy about that.
It would have been embarrassing. Yes, that must have been the reason she was happy about it.
It’s what makes sense, after all, when she examines herself, heart blazing in the cold and quickly pumping exhales visible in the frost.
*
*
*
Rika was 18 years old and the aroma of freshly brewed black wafted through the air in Dicey Café. Her and Asuna’s laughter blows on the steam rising from their mugs.
“So… you had a thing for me?” Asuna asked. There was no judgment in her tone.
“Yeah,” Rika said. “Took me a while to figure that one out, though. I guess I couldn’t admit to myself that I liked girls too. And then Kirito was right there, the perfect scapegoat for those feelings.”
She tried to take a first sip from her mug, but the heat bit her tongue. Still too hot.
“He had the whole Mysterious Hero thing going on back then, and we had that wild trip. It got pretty easy to convince myself that I was into him. But when you two started dating, it wasn’t you that I was jealous of…”
Rika stared at Asuna expectantly, then smirked.
“I guess I must have been pretty desperate for a love story, if I tricked myself into liking him.”
Without missing the cue, Asuna elbowed Rika.
“He’s still my boyfriend, you know!”
Rika laughs at Asuna’s indignation, and Asuna laughs at Lis laughing at her. The blacksmith’s crude laughter was nothing if not infectious.
Their shared laughter reminds her that Asuna loved her, in the same way she’s always had. And that she still loved Asuna, albeit in a different way than back in Aincrad.
Rika is unsure of what love is, but she thinks that’s a good thing. Maybe the answer isn’t meant to come easy. It’s been two years since the ice dragon incident, and if there’s one thing any SAO Survivor understands is: a couple of years can change everything.
At the very least, it’s enough for a change in perspective. It’s a boost in maturity, as small as it is, that makes her understand that love is not something you seek in desperation, blurting out mindlessly in a moment between life and death. It’s probably something softer, found in the touch of a friend, amidst inside jokes and shared moments of joy like this. And probably not at the bottom of a pit.
Asuna was her best friend, both in Aincrad and in real life. Keiko never missed a day to share recess with her. Klein would take her teasing with little to no complaint. Agil offered her a part-time job at the bar last week, when she turned eighteen.
And, despite everything she says, she has a soft spot for Kirito. He’s a good friend. She’d never say that to his face, though, in fear of his head getting too big for his body.
She doesn’t need to hunger for love, as long as she has these connections.
If the other kind of love knocks at her door, though, then all the better.
The bell by the door chimes, and Asuna and Lis both turn on her stools, sure of who’s there before their vision catches them.
Kirito stands by the entrance and greets the both of them, unaware that he was a topic in their conversation moments ago.
From his side, a bespectacled girl sheepishly waves.
**
Rika is 22 years old, and she’s late to her part-time job.
It’s not her fault, though. There’s a dog in the apartment.
“Puppy!” Rika coos.
The Japanese Akita simply stares at her, a bit too stoically for a dog, dark slits for eyes betraying nothing.
Shino, sporting her police uniform, stops Lis’s hand as she offers him a corn chip.
“He can’t eat that. He might get sick. He’s got work to do.”
Shino’s dream of becoming a police officer came true, and she’s glad she has enough of a handle on her hoplophobia to manage it. She’s surprised that she was approved into the dog handler unit in her first try, though.
“Hecate is a police official, Rika. You should show him some respect.”
Hecate ? Lis considers teasing her on the name, but concludes otherwise. Shino had her reasons.
Perhaps her face gives her thoughts away, however, because Shino justifies herself.
“Yes, Hecate. He’s my partner, after all.” She manages not to look embarrassed.
Rika giggles. She at times pondered over how come she and Shino wound up together, when she herself scorches like a furnace, hot-red emotion barely contained in her body, while Shino, comparatively, runs cold like the steel that forms the barrel of a firearm.
Rika fancied herself gunpowder.
“I don’t know. Maybe he’d look cuter if he was fat,” Rika threatens. “Big, fat boy.”
She flicks a chip from the bag she was eating into the air. Hecate, shooting up as if a bullet from the homonymous sniper rifle, springs towards the airborne target, corn and wheat meeting trained teeth in a satisfying crunch. His canine expression remains dutifully cold, even as he chews on it.
Shino tries to grimace, but it’s hard while trying to kill a laugh at the same time. She changes the topic, a pair of fingers pressed to her temple.
“Shouldn’t you be at work instead of poisoning the new dog? Agil is going to give you an earful again.”
Rika smirks smugly, and there’s a bit of Lisbeth in that smile.
“It’s okay, he loves me!” She positions a proud hand over her chest. “I’m his only company in that dingy bar.”
Despite her cheeky reply, she puts on her boots faster. Even if her parents are helping with her tuition, she still needs to pull her weight. Engineering is a course with hefty tuition fees.
After a roughly affectionate tussle to the dog’s fur and a quick peck to Shino’s cheek, she runs out the door.
Now an adult, Rika can forgive her younger, juvenile self; that old definition of love, troubadour and romantic, feels endearing in its foolishness. She has a hard time appreciating that romanticized romance now, though, as she gets to bask in what she has available to her now: the domesticity in sharing as well as the presence of her friends. Now that her hunger is sated, her vision clears to what matters.
Her connection to them, all of them, must be what love is.
Title: Melting Point
Pairing: Asuna/Lisbeth
Fandom: Sword Art Online
Word Count: 2,620
Summary: The one thing Asuna can’t forget from their first meeting was Lis’s smile.
Notes: SAO Pride Week is officially here! This is the fic I made for Day 1's prompt, Virtual World VS Real World. This was an old WIP I revised for the event, so it’s a bit longer than some of the other stuff I’ll be posting in the coming days, and it doesn’t tackle the theme as directly. Thanks to @thegayfromrulid for beta-ing this.
AO3 Link
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It doesn’t matter how much you fight here, you’re just changing on which floor you’ll die.
These were Asuna’s words.
While she thought differently nowadays, traces of such ideas still lingered in her thoughts. You’ll die here, something deep down whispered. This virtual castle will be your grave, and the ‘strong swordswoman’ you’ve nurtured over the past six months will shatter away, not even leaving a body to be honored.
For now, however, this ‘strong swordswoman’ was who she was. She carried on as the Vice Commander of the Knights of the Blood Oath, the stark general she needed to be.
She wondered, at times, if, perhaps, she didn’t take this position for the protection of others, but for herself. Maybe, without the burden of others’ lives draped over her back, her psyche would crumble down like a puny sand castle against crashing waves. This enormous pressure was the only thing holding her together; a single strand carrying limitless weight.
It’s hard remembering, sometimes, that she’s merely a girl.
**
Whenever Asuna strode down the corridors of her guild’s hall, a steely mask of fortitude resting upon her face, rounds of weary faces passed through her. Faces used to strife and loss.
Such faces were what she had grown used to.
As such, she couldn’t help but be taken aback when that brown-haired girl flashed her the most genuine smile she’d seen in her time in Aincrad.
“Welcome to Lisbeth’s Smith Shop!”
Asuna wandered through the merchant district of Ralberg in the 19th Floor in search of someone who could reinforce her new rapier. Before she knew it, she had been engulfed by the place, the bumping and rustling of moving cargo and the bustling voices of shoppers and vendors disorienting her until she was lost.
As she aimlessly roamed through one of the alleys within the district, darting her eyes through the passing figures and stray vendors in the narrow passage, she caught sight of this girl.
She seemed to be about Asuna’s age. She sat with her legs crossed, a short anvil and a petite hammer in front of her. Her face donned a hint of freckles, along with lively copper eyes adorned by an equally lively smile.
Approaching her, the swordswoman lowered her head towards her. Brushing some strands of brown hair behind her ear, the blacksmith raised hers in kind.
“How can I help you today?” the brown-haired girl asked, gesturing to the plain carpet in front of her, along with the diminutive hammer and anvil resting on top of it. Asuna wasn’t sure if that could be called a ‘shop’.
“Oh. Uh, yes,” she mumbled out in reply, instinctively forcing her voice into a lower pitch. Recovering her focus, Asuna unsheathed her rapier from its scabbard, a faint gleam reflecting from it. “I’m looking for someone who could reinforce this.”
The blacksmith raised her hand, and Asuna hesitantly rested her sword onto it. As per usual, she had grown oddly attached to a weapon.
The seated girl swiped her right index finger down and selected the Item Appraisal option, a small, semi-transparent window popping over the weapon with the action.
“I generally go to this other guy for reinforcing, but… it’s been hard to contact him lately.”
The implication in Asuna’s comment sent shivers down the blacksmith’s spine. Her voice cracked a bit, but she continued to smile regardless.
“Sure, that uh, that shouldn’t be a problem!”
The blacksmith started to perform the usual reinforcement procedure, and Asuna watched intently as she did, as if to inspire (or perhaps shame?) her own blade into succeeding.
The copper-haired girl struck the metal exactly ten times, and both sighed in relief as the sword was set back in Asuna’s hand, a small notification with a plus sign popping from it as the green light surrounding it faded. The swordswoman had to suppress the urge to flourish her improved weapon right then and there.
As she navigated the menus to transfer the necessary money and prepared to leave, Asuna remembered the shop’s name contained its owner’s as well.
“I’ll see you later… Lisbeth.”
“Please do!”
Lisbeth’s reply came out louder than intended, catching both of them off guard. The seated girl didn’t notice the words leaving her mouth until they were already blabbered away.
To be more precise, she hadn’t noticed how lonely she’d been.
“… I mean, if you need another enhancement, I’d be glad to have you as a customer again!”
Lisbeth positioned a proud hand over a thin bicep, as if to exude confidence.
Asuna had to hold back a chuckle at her words. She couldn’t help but relate to the brown-haired girl’s struggle.
She gave the blacksmith a curt nod before leaving. “Later.”
**
“Later.” Promising to come back to someone in Aincrad was rarely a good idea when you were stationed in the front lines. Asuna knew that. She didn’t know what came to her.
Yet, she did see her later.
She came back multiple times, in fact– whenever she had some extra Col for another enhancement, whenever she wanted to show the “shop” to a guildmate, whenever she could make up another excuse to go. Soon enough, she started coming just because, and most of the time not spent with the guild or the broody solo player she’s taken a liking to was allocated to Lisbeth.
Asuna couldn’t pinpoint what drew her to the blacksmith.
She had a cheerfulness that waltzed between genuine and forged, and a bluntness that rivaled a certain someone else she knew. Asuna’s rank as a member of one of the clearing guilds made people talk to her with a tone of reverence at times (the flashy title of Lightning didn’t suit her, she thinks), so having another person she could speak to so casually felt satisfying. Despite her first impressions, Lis could be… rather crude.
They stood there, conversation wasted away for hours now.
“Ah,” Lis sighs, crossing her arms, “I really thought I was done for then. His sword’s durability hit zero the moment my hammer touched it, and he thought that was my fault, somehow.” She tapped the surface of her Smith’s Carpet. “It’s a good thing no one can touch you while you’re on one of these things. He did say he was going to get back at me, though.”
She pshaws.
“People here love saying stuff like that to merchants. Guess they see us as NPCs, or something. Figure we’re not real people.”
Cities are safe zones, and as such no one should be in mortal danger inside them. Nonetheless, vengeful people can get crafty in here. A threat is no laughing matter.
“Lis, that sounds… dangerous. Are you sure you’re safe?”
Lis waves a hand dismissively, and forges an especially bright smile for Asuna. She pshaws again.
“Don’t worry about it, Asuna. It’s not like they’re real anything either.”
This wasn’t the first time she’s noticed Lis making light of awful happenings and players surrounding her; she does it with near death experiences and creepy customers and disastrous blacksmithing attempts that invalidated days of work looking for materials. She turned her tragedies into comedies, always forcing herself to smile doing so.
In fact, she doesn’t remember ever seeing Lis legitimately sad in their time together. She always wore her smiting smith grin, or some variation of smirk.
“I mean…”
Asuna paused, pensively.
Lis, are you really okay? is what she thought about asking, but perhaps that was Lisbeth’ way of dealing with all of… this. Aincrad and the constant threat of death and missing her family and even the people she might have lost here.
If this place isn’t real, then the people within it aren’t real.
By extension, her pain, too, was non-existent. That seemed to be Lis’s thought process.
Was it wrong, if it allowed her to smile?
Unlike me, she…
Perhaps a bit too forcefully, she choked out a chuckle for Lis’ reply.
“… Fine, fine,” she gave up, tapping the freckled girl’s shoulder, “but promise me you’ll let me help you look for a new base of operations for your business. I think it’s about time you got a better place.”
“Haha… there is this one place I’ve been eyeing in one of the upper floors,” Lis confessed, scratching the back of her neck, “but the price is pretty hefty.”
Asuna squinted her eyes, anguished hearing Lisbeth’s plea.
“… I’ll make my entire squadron to commission something from you if that’s what it takes.”
Lis couldn’t help but chortle out at Asuna’s uncharacteristic comment.
“What? I’m serious!”
“No, you’re not!” Lis retorted through jovial, watery eyes.
She patted Asuna’s head, which made her shoot a look Lis couldn’t tell was meant to be embarrassed or indignant.
“… But it’s really cute that you’d say something like that.”
**
The months go by and Asuna doesn’t think as much about dying.
She’s a general and she’s a swordswoman, but she’s also a mere girl– a fact a year of this death game forced her to forget. She thinks there’s nothing mere about being one now, however.
The pressure crushing her soul into moving forward, jaw clenched and nails digging into palms, is replaced with the warm push of her friends. With Kirito’s eyeroll-inducing antics. Argo’s impetuous comments. Lisbeth’s crude laughter. It surprises her, how this kindness motivates her far better than the looming anxiety. How she can live for the sake of living.
She doesn’t know when, but she knows.
She’s leaving this castle, and she’s taking those dear to her in tow.
**
The door creaked as Asuna slowly entered Lisbeth’s new shop. She was glad Lis managed to get this place without her having to resort to strong-arming her guildmates. Regardless of Lisbeth’s incredulity, she was serious about it… probably.
“Lisbeth!” She beckons, trying to warn the blacksmith of her presence. No response comes and she realizes why after a quick investigation: muffled clanks of steel meeting iron ring out from the backroom, and the spinning of the gigantic waterwheel resounds through the entire building. Lis must be hard at work.
She walks to the door behind the counter, whispering excuses under her breath as she ducks under the wooden seam. Surely enough, Lisbeth is hammering away at her anvil, the chime of weapons reverberating through the room.
Asuna barely caught sight of Lisbeth shivering as she approached.
“… Lis?”
Lisbeth turns to her, a grin on her lips and red on her eyes.
“Asuna!” she exclaims, voice sniffly, with a hint of surprise. It doesn’t sound how Asuna remembers. “Sorry, didn’t hear you coming in. Here for the materials?”
Asuna’s brow knits in worry. “Lis, were you crying?”
“I – what –” Lis stammers, then sets a hand to her eye. “Really? They programmed puffy eyes in this stupid game?”
Lis scoots her chair back as Asuna steps closer, her gloved hand brushing roughly against the corner of her eyes.
“Sorry, I’m–, I didn’t want you to have to see me like this. Don’t worry. I’m fine!”
“Lis…”
“I’m fine, I promise, just. Just give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be back to normal.”
“Lis, please.”
Asuna approaches slowly, hands outstretched. She offers them to Lis, who takes a step back before taking two forward.
She takes Asuna’s hands in hers, and the stream of tears she had stifled moments ago start racing down her cheeks again.
Lisbeth slumps over Asuna, her forehead resting over the swordswoman’s shoulder, her arms wrapping tightly around Asuna. Right now Lis feels so delicate, looks so frail, so unlike Asuna has ever seen her until now, and every part of her being wants to protect her.
A part of her knew Lis was keeping it in – who isn’t, in Aincrad? But seeing Lisbeth, her ever-cheery, best friend Lisbeth, crying in loneliness as she shakily continues to perform her work, clicks with Asuna. That’s what she was like, before meeting her.
Why wasn’t I there for her in the same way?
“I’m not sure how long I can keep doing this,” Lisbeth confesses. “Waking up every day and acting like this is normal. Like this is my job, like this is real, like my body isn’t wasting away outside.”
Lisbeth uses the forbidden word, outside, the one no one is meant to be using here to keep their sanity in check. In that moment Asuna realizes she is not simply talking to Lisbeth the Blacksmith, but to whoever Lisbeth is in the real world.
“I wish I was like you, Asuna. You’re so strong.”
It sends Asuna reeling. Lisbeth? Like her?
“What are you talking about? You are much stronger than me. You’ve kept smiling this whole time.”
She parts the locks of hair at Lis’ nape with her nails, and feels Lis’ grasp tighten.
“I’ve only been able to stand this long because I had people who reminded me I was still living in here. People like you, Lis. Your smile kept me going.”
For a moment, Lis simply digs her weight further into Asuna, the flutter of fanning eyelashes brushing against Asuna’s shoulder, streaming tears running down her arm.
When Lis’s crying subsides and she raises her head, Asuna sees that she’s smiling.
This one looks different, however. Time seems to stop as Asuna studies every inch of Lis’s face. She can tell as she sees the real thing in this moment, how Lisbeth’s winning smiles in the past were forged, a convincing replica fabricated by an expert craftswoman. This weary image in front of her now, with its displayed teeth and reddening skin and baggy eyes, is Lisbeth in her earnest, and it’s breathtakingly beautiful.
Time runs once more as Asuna sees Lisbeth’s face shorten the gap between hers, eyes half-lidded, approach slow and pleading.
It only lasts a mere moment, a fraction of a second, when their lips meet, but Asuna’s heart bursts all the same. It was more of a peck than a kiss, and yet she’s burning and Lisbeth’s burning and she’s not sure what this means, so she goes for seconds to find out, a chaste first kiss shared between two friends, pure affection woven into action.
Lis sets her head back on Asuna’s shoulder once they part lips.
“Nothing here ever had felt real, you know,” Lis starts. “Until you started talking to me. Visiting me. Thank you, Asuna.”
She interweaves their hands together, and Asuna squeezes them in response.
She can’t believe she let Lisbeth feel this way, so lonely.
She wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
**
She’s a general. She’s a swordswoman.
She’s a girl, young and wise, frail and powerful, and so, so real.
They share a bed, their combined warmth reminding them how genuine they are.
These bodies, countless shards of light interlinked through a virtual thread, are mere representations of themselves. But how can they be called fake, when it allows them to be like this, more intimate than they’ve ever been with any other person in the real world?
Lis fell asleep as soon as her body met the bed. How long has it been since she last had a night of sleep? How long has she been forging that smile that inspired her so many times? Asuna, however, cannot bring herself to drift off, not after the way she saw Lisbeth today.
She spent a long while wondering what she was fighting for, since her entrapment. Holding her friend delicately, caressing her head as she basks in Lis’s droopy, drowsy smile, Asuna thinks she found one of many answers to the question.
As she watched Lis shift in bed, murmuring something unintelligible, her steely resolve became something beyond a mask. An earnest, warm wish solidified itself over her heart.
Any Lis and Asuna headcanons? (Platonic, romantic, or separate?)
some platonic but mostly romantic asuna/lis headcanons!! (mostly bc if i get into individual headcanons for them it'll be 8 pages long skdjfhjskdf)
asuna likes holding rika's hand a lot and often just randomly holds it while they're sitting together
asuna also helps rika dye her hair, it started after rika accidentally dyed the sink in the girl’s dorm bathroom bright pink at the start of a break
rika likes the taste of asuna’s lipgloss and uses it as an excuse to kiss her constantly. asuna gets embarassed and rika doesn’t care at all
lis has to quickly level her strength stat because asuna likes riding on her shoulders when they’re walking home from quests. they both know it’s easier to just fly, but lis likes carrying her
rika’s really really good at making friendship bracelets, so she makes them for asuna all the time
neck kisses. thank you.
rika makes flirty jokes to asuna all the time and she’s totally oblivious because she has a giant crush on rika and doesn’t think it’s mutual
asuna keeps giving rika book reccomendations, then rika watches the movie instead
they were a thing in aincrad, nothing will convince me otherwise, and lis used to joke to asuna that she could pay for rapier repairs by taking her out on a date
asuna obliged and they had a cute date together, went to a nice restaurant and then went for a walk through one of the prettier lower floors. asuna walks her back to her shop and gives her a kiss on the cheek
lis says that they’ll have to have another date next time asuna needs repair work done, so asuna throws her rapier on the ground and points at it like “i think it’s broken again you should fix it rn i’ll take you out can i kiss you again”
