saki: literally while you were making amazing art i was doing this
saki: sendte filen Skærmbillede 2013-06-05 kl. 23.13.51.png til denne gruppe (that means that i sent her a screenshot (it's a lot of selfless in a draft post on tumblr))
EDIT: this ended up like some sort of huge fucking masterpost lord show mercy upon my soul, here we go this is a long ride hold on everyone
ok so once upon a time
there were to girls, ellen and sam, who were best friends. they had been best friends for several years, meeting each other online on a danish site for girls with models you could dress up (l o l, i will literally always deny this if someone asks oh god) and developing from there on to MSN messenger, texting, facebook, tumblr and then skype.
living in the same country obviously made it sort of easier, and i believe it was a few months into our friendship we met each other the first time, when ellen took the train from jutland to copenhagen to visit me.
forward to a few years, lots of conversations, phone calls, skype chats, and a meeting or two later, and find ellen and i talking to each other on skype instead of studying for exams, still best friends at this point. of course, when you're studying for exams, everything but studying is preferable, and so ellen and i agreed to go on a 'date'.
excited, i made a post about this on tumblr, to which both mj and ellen replied(both on skype and tumblr). this led to a short conversation with both, where mj(my friend) ended up writing 'i ship it'
and that was when it happened. it had begun, and there was no possible way of turning back. because next thing you know, i was writing to ellen on skype and asking mj on tumblr, demanding to know where the fic and fanart was.
"are people shipping us??" one of us wrote on skype, which led to another one of us replying that we needed an otp-tag on tumblr!! and "if i were a stranger i'd ship us" was one idea but then i wrote "otp: guess we didn't need an icebreaker" and both ellen and i have tried to find out where exactly that idea come from, but apparently i just wrote it and we thought it was perfect from the beginning beCAUSE
we literally did not need an icebreaker, and became really good friends immediately? i just remember. i believe it was the first time we talked to each other, i was... 12 or 13(ellen says 11, i literally do not remember) at the time, maybe. and we spent literally the entire day on webcam over MSN messenger because fuck skype and i showed her my room and she showed me hers and we had really personal conversations and, idk, in my case, i told her some really personal things that i never told anyone back then, and never really talked to anyone about since. and i still remember that day quite clearly, i don't know.
when we came up with the tag it wasn't serious at all, it was literally just a joke between us as friends, but when i look back at it now, i think that i might even have had feelings for her already back then? wow idek, but. uhm.
okay, basically. we can’t exactly remember where it came from. but it just happened, and it stayed, and we kept it, because it fits.
here’s ellen’s way of saying it, and she obviously does it better than me:
i think it was because. like. it just came naturally to us that we loved each other. our relationship wasn't ever awkward, and it was like we didn't need that kinda.. ice breaker in our relationship. we just loved each other. it was that easy
and it’s kind of funny because we’ve always bickered and been sort of playfully teasing each other, in a very love/hate kind of way. but we didn’t need an icebreaker in the beginning, and we’ve never really had any trouble since. i never in my life expected that ellen would end up becoming one of my best friends, and if you’d asked me a bit less than a year ago I certainly wouldn’t have thought that we’d end up getting together, like, romantically?
isn’t it funny how life turns out. idk man, this sort of went out of hand. let’s keep going!!
soooooooo, when we were planning dates and finding an otp tag for our otp(being us), there were two weeks till I was jumping on a train to go to JUTLAND WHOOOP so I could visit ellen!!! because we were literally talking about it before. or after. or idk, but we were talking about it and looking forward to it, and it was happening, so there’s that.
i do believe i wrote a few posts about ellen and I when I was there, but it wasn’t really much, and they’re somewhere in our otp-tag, on my blog.
and then I went home. and she stayed.. home. (uh) and I think… it started a few months before that, but at somehow we reached a point where we spoke to each other daily, mainly over text after I started in gymnasiet, I think. before that it had only been, like, 2 or 3 months where we spoke a lot, and then some time without communicating at all. especially after ellen went to boarding school.
and somewhere along the lines the flirting started. oh god the flirting. it almost killed me.
ellen is…. well. i definitely had a crush. (and it wasn’t only the flirting, it was also the declarations of love – and that wasn’t anything new at all!) but there are several examples on my blog, of sort of casual conversation i guess. that sort of slowly drove me insane.
and then it got sort of more serious. and i have no idea when that exactly happened, also that is much more private, and not something i think i’ll go too much into detail about.
aaaaaaaand
cut to:
February 2013, and suddenly ellen and i are finally together again, last time being the start of july 2012. lots of things changed in those 7 months, and it’s pretty fucking insane. when we were together back then we had already sort of made it clear to each other, that… well we weren’t exactly just friends at this point. and i don’t think we had been just friends for quite a while.
after ellen went home i wrote this very long post about what we’d done and just tiny bits of how i felt, because i wanted to remember some of the details. i actually re-read it a few days ago, and.. well yeah. let’s just say that i’m really happy i wrote that.
and then, cut to now. almost three months since we were together last time, actually, like, officially in a relationship and stuff. and we’re going to see each other in less than three days. (<3 days hahah shut up i thought it was funny)
ask me and i will in no way be able to tell when we went from being best friends to, whatever we were before we like actually talked about an official relationship status. it wasn’t even because we needed it tbh. i’ve been calling her my girlfriend for almost a year now, and it doesn’t feel like our relationship has changed much, to be honest.
and i think it’s wonderful, in some way. that in the end it’s literally just about us, and yeah, whatever, okay, we’re girlfriends now, so there’s some kissing and stuff involved, but i just???? it’s not like the change of our relationship status changed our relationship, (if that makes any sense to you, because it makes perfectly sense to me)
sometimes i literally forget that, like, ellen’s my girlfriend. and i know that sounds weird! but i think it’s great, because it’s just about us. it’s ellen and i, and it’s how much we love each other, and how well we know each other. ellen is literally a part of my life, and she has been so for quite a while. despite the fact that we’re not open about our relationship, no one but… tumblr and one of my friends from school knows that we’re dating, it still doesn’t… like. people still know how much she means to me.
my mum knows how much she means to me, (you have no fucking-, it’s insane. it’s literally to the point where she’s offered to pay for train tickets, and she doesn’t even know oh my god) people from my class even know about her (because i can’t fucking shut my mouth) and my sister, both of my sisters, who’re usually so shy and sort of uncomfortable around my friends, they love her. my oldest little sister literally stood and started asking ellen questions through me, because we were skyping, where she usually just runs off.
everyone loves ellen and it’s no fucking wonder why, because i love her too, and she will always be one of my best friends first. and it’s sometimes so weird to think that … she’s my girlfriend. but i just. i can’t stop mentioning it, and i can’t stop mentioning and talking and thinking about her, because she’s been such a huge part of my life for so long, and i literally cannot imagine, like. idk. my life without her.
i wish doing homework was as easy as it is to write about my love for ellen, but that’s just life i guess. i’m just going to stop now, because i still have responsibilities to live up to. i’m so far from done, there are so many things i feel like i still need to say, but i just.
i love ellen, so fucking much. and we didn’t need an icebreaker, or whatever, but that is literally… that’s just doesn’t matter at all, because fuck that tag and whatever it means, i literally do not care all that much about that tag, i just focus on
how much i love her because i can’t stop
(this is a cry for help, i’m madly in love, someone stop me)
