#atomicblondewig

[bluegrassed]

top/fav trixie moments (interviews, unhhhh, season 7, etc.) ???

this is the cutest goddamn ask (amendment, half an hour later: i wrote this first sentence BEFORE I WROTE FIFTEEN FUCKING LINES OF PURE NONSENSE)

ok this is in no particular order because i can’t bear to rank them:- her and katya’s waterloo performance at the end of high school reunion- this live performance of bluegrass- these boots were made for walking (seriously i can’t talk about or even watch this without short-circuiting; have you ever seen her FEEL HERSELF as much as she did here??? it’s mesmerizing to the point that it isnt even FUNNY aklsjlakjsdjksdj it’s. regrettably the video that. made me realize i was attracted to trixie mattel)- sugar daddy (hedwig & the angry inch is my favorite movie of all time so this....... ruined me)- science fiction double feature (i just love musicals in general so this...... also ruined me)- this live performance of i know you all over again- this video she posted on IG playing dead flowers- (asmr whisper) i have a collection of authentic ‘90s mcdonald’s barbies- sunnily asking katya if she wants to look at her high school picture on her phone- moving parts (this video in particular because it’s the first time i ever heard it)- her twitch stream tbh, and the fact that she plans to do more. i am a gamer lesbian with simple wants and needs- work medley in necto, ann arbor oct 6th 2017, mainly because she saw my gif of it and called herself erotic- her and katya’s performance of read u wrote u (90% thanks to that moment where she lies down to take a nap onstage)- i dont even know if this is allowed as an entry but shea’s IG video of trixie veering from starbucks towards her car on dumbass rollerskates while CRJ plays in the background- her “is there a god and can he see me in the shower” bit at the very end of Now With Moving Parts (you can hear it in full in the unplugged show but my favorite iteration of it is from her NYC performance)i beg you...... give me a specific number next time so i don’t completely lose my MARBLES like this

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: ATOMIC BLONDE

When you were watching the John Wick movies, did you wish that Keanu Reeves was instead a hot lady in a blonde wig with a questionable English accent? When you were watching Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, did you wish that they replaced 98% of the men with a hot lady in a blonde wig who could kick Gary Oldman’s ass? Have you been yearning for a Cold War spy thriller that is basically a J’adore Dior perfume ad with bummer remixes of Falco songs and really well choreographed fight sequences? 

If you answered yes to these questions, Atomic Blonde is the venn diagram of all of these things and more! But what about the wigs? Let’s discuss (VAGUE SPOILERS AHEAD): 

We begin at the end, where a heavily bruised and battered Charlize Theron must recount the events (and wigs) of the previous 10 days to Toby Jones and John Goodman. At first glance, this wig is a platinum mess of dried out waves. But...but...isn’t that what the 80s are all about? The film is set in 1989 and this wig is serving me Debbie Harry realness. The texture is about right for an 80s dye job and the seams and inconsistency are great. 

As we flash back, we see a slicked down bob that is decidedly more  Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface. And I say amen! 

Over to Berlin, Charlize gets sultry in some de-frizzed finger curls and I mean...fine?

This movie loves showing Charlize when she’s just taken a shower and is sitting around her Tron hotel room in a Flashdance shirt listening to reel-to-reel tapes. I mean, whatever, FINE, but I can appreciate any wig that looks like wet hair when it’s wet (and not a scary wet wig!) 

At one point, Charlize crosses over to East Berlin in Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping cosplay (complete with custom brown contacts! Thorough!) She successfully crosses to the East and conveniently runs into a movie theater where she (SPOILER!) unceremoniously ditches this wig on the ground. Sacrilege! Not since that old lady threw priceless jewelry overboard in Titanic have I been so mad about the pointless abandonment of worthwhile accessories. Sure, this wig is about as ugly as that necklace BUT STILL. We also never get the explanation as to how Charlize was able to cross BACK to the West without this wig disguise and is plot hole #1 (of about 1000). 

Aaaaanyway, as we speed through action scene after action scene, I have to hand it to this wig for rolling with the punches and looking perfectly tousled and worn down.

And even bloody! No, this is not a scene from The Walking Dead!

In the end, Charlize dons some highly questionable Marion Cottilard cosplay to double (or triple?) agent her way into destroying a perfectly nice hotel room. Sure, this wig (much like the Sandra Bullock wig before it) sucks but we know it’s a wig so no matter. 

This movie doesn’t really add up to much other than proving that Charlize Theron is an ass-kicking machine, and your time should probably be spent watching John Wick again, but the wigs (that are being passed off as real hair)...well they’re pretty atomic. 

VERDICT: WURQS