REVIEW: Theory of Love
(Since a friend tweeted earlier about this, my rambling thoughts started and I can’t shut up, so I’ll write. Might as well. Looks like I haven’t let go of this already.)
Theory of Love is a coming-of-age romantic comedy series about two best friends and unrequited love. Khai is the desired one. The first few episodes told the story from Third’s perspective. We witness his love for his friend, and his pain with Khai’s cold response and being just plain jackass of a human. Later, someone in their friend group discovered Third’s feelings and encouraged him to confess, thinking this would solve everything. Even though there have been a lot of opportunities given to Third to do that, he wasn’t able to, or his body decided against it.
Third said he didn’t know why he even love Khai when he never saw him more than a friend (most times, not even a friend since he treats him real bad). Right when he started moving on from him, Khai developed feelings for his best friend, and this started his arduous journey of redemption, reconciliation, and change. These didn’t come without a cost, both for Third and Khai himself. He even got into a motorcycle accident during the time he’s trying to figure out his feelings and gain his best friend back. He realized that his old ways is not only harming the people around him, but also himself.
Watching this show makes me think of my own reservations, and how long can I go in forgiving others. I realized how love can both bring you joy and pain, and how important it is to receive love for yourself before giving some away. Third, I’d say, was permanently transformed by that love. He can’t bear to be vulnerable again, which manifested through his deadpan looks. He barely smiled throughout the series. Khai, on the other hand, became more bubbly as he tries to win him back. He grasped later on that love is not a game where someone becomes a winner of something, or in this case, someone.
“Now I know love is not beautiful flowers, nor luxurious locations, but the sincerity you’ve given me. If I am to confess my love to you, there’s no better way than the sincere way you did for me. If you still think what I’ve done here is not love, I really don’t know what love is to you...For me, you’re not a movie; you are real.” ―Khai
What Khai said was really beautiful, and showed how much Third’s love reformed him. He has become kinder, more conscious of how his actions affect other people, more careful with his words, all in all a much, much better person than he was in the first few episodes. If it weren’t for Third, he wouldn’t realize his need for improvement. His character development though is not purely motivated by his desire for him, which I think is one of the best parts of this story. Most of us change for the better because we want something, like a reward for good behavior. It almost doesn’t count as valid since our actions are intentions are not genuine. But the series showed how Khai struggled to bury his old self. This scene, after his admittance that he has feelings for Third, is another milestone for him. He was able to declare his love and give his heart to someone, without reservations. Love is surrender, handling your heart as a gift over to the person you cherish the most, at the same time, can hurt you the deepest.
There’s a special episode after the finale which is also my favorite part of the entire series. With that finish, it left me asking what Third and Khai would do if Khai happened to revert back to his old ways, whether unwillingly or not? What would their argument look like? The special episode answered that. Some girl tried to hit on Khai and he let her for some reason. He was so afraid Third would discover his secret so he tried to erase the evidence and pretend nothing happened. He feared he might lose him again; considering all that transpired just for them to get where they are, he can’t afford to go through that anymore. Actually, he said he’s “scared” of Third, not only on how he’d react about the incident. Eventually, his guilt got the best of him and comes clean to his partner.
Again, my personal challenge with forgiveness was brought up again in this scene. I wonder what would I do if the person I love the most betrays my trust? At what point can second chances still be regarded as earned? While I still don’t know the answer to that, Khai’s sincere apology put my worries at ease: he acknowledged he didn’t stop the event from happening, he admitted that was a very bad thing to do, he didn’t put the blame on the girl or even his fear of his partner’s reaction, he even narrated all the things he did just to keep it from Third. As he finished his statement, he gave Third a pass on their relationship, knowing he might hurt him again in the future:
Their whole dialogue here just screams love for me:
Third: “You have no reason to be afraid.” Khai: “I love you. I don’t want to lose you.” Third: “Don’t you think that I love you and don’t want to lose you either? I’m trying to understand you so that we can stay together forever. See? You’re not the only one who’s trying. I’m trying, too.”
When asked if he kept the evidence, Third said he deleted the photo, but kept another one. Then, he showed his phone:
To end this long reflection, a short disclaimer: I'm well aware that this is not a genre that Christianity, the faith I belong to, is welcoming. These days, I’m crushing hard on Gun Atthaphan (Third) and have been watching his shows (I also blogged about his other series, The Gifted, here with little snippets from Theory of Love as well), which are mostly about boy’s love. My opinion on that in contrast to my religion is a whole other discussion for another time. Still and all, Theory of Love gave me insights on gay romance and made me rehash my beliefs on love and relationships.
I realized that we are not changed by our adoration for another person―we can never produce that on our own―but only when we receive love from them can we also give love. As a Christian, I became more compassionate, less irritating, and a better person, not because I love God, but Christ’s love transformed me.
Theory of Love is not perfect, as all other series, but this one has become one of my comfort shows. Both the lead actors did an excellent job on playing Khai and Third, and I’m looking forward for more of them in the future.
